via squarespace

I've met so many different kids along June as I taught the 6-12 year-olds in the summer program at My After School Club and had friends and family coming to Bali with their kids. I had close interaction with them, much closer than I've been in the past 15 years, since my younger siblings and cousins whom I used to babysit have all grown up now.

The first thing I noticed was that I'm still that good dealing with kids (not babies or toddlers--only kids) no matter how long I haven't deal with them. The second thing I noticed was that kids are shaped by their parents' teaching at home, way before school days start. The values that parents plant in their children's minds in the early years will help develop the kids' character to the next 20-50 years. That is how important

A 5.5-year old boy I met was so bossy to everyone around because of being treated like a little prince at his luxurious home. While a 5-year old girl can get along very well with older kids, being smart and self-responsible. An 8-year old boy can be so mature, caring and responsible as he has younger siblings and has a very disciplined father. A kid the same age of 8 can also be so annoying, selfish, narcissistic and like to play victim/blame others as he is raised by a single working mom (who is clearly doesn't have enough time to pay enough attention to the kid.)

Those are the examples I saw at the school club. As my friends and family visit me with their kids, I can see closer how different parenting styles can be, no matter the same life principles I share with them. Being a parent is a whole different thing. As the oldest daughter/granddaughter in my family, I've helped my mom and aunts babysit and nurture their kids. More or less I've learned parenting since my childhood that I still carry with me until now. Every time I meet a kid, I treat them the same way as my parents did to me.

Another thing that I noticed these days was how people tend to see children as "cute young people" while I see them as human beings with a potential to become great adults if nurtured with good knowledge and conscience. I treat kids as I treat other people according to their situation--which is related with not only age but also the brain development, IQ and EQ levels, and their interests of life.

Maybe that's why I don't easily get swooned or drooled by their cuteness. I'm more likely to treat them as a buddy; a friend--because that's how my mom treats me and because that's what everybody in this world need the most: a friend. And a good friend knows when to teach/show good examples to the other, be fun, be protective, or simply be a playmate.

Sadly, not all parents have enough knowledge of the good/ideal parenting even though they are capable to produce as many kids they want. In the Catholic premarital courses, for example (I take Catholic as the only one I know), the religion values are highlighted to be the basic of Catholic marriage, but they don't mention about the parenting theories. I got the day-course about children psychology before I started teaching to prepare the teachers to deal with kids according to their age in the most proper way. This is initial, because teachers are the representation of parents at school. But I guess there aren't parenting class ever given to prepare parents to deal with kids.

I had another experience with that, as my peers are mostly parents now. We had this discussion about parenting at a chat group with dozens of my schoolmates and some of them really don't have a clue about educating their children. They know how to take care and nurture them, but not educating them. No wonder there are a lot of the young generations who don't have a clue about morals, norms, values or principles these days.

My mom always said that children are the young humans that God trusted the parents to take care of them, but children are really God's. Parents are actually the child's guidance in this world, but not to own the kid, as everything in this world really belongs to the Almighty God. Therefore parents should take full responsibility of their children's health, welfare, and character building.

I know some of you will say that I won't know because I don't have a kid myself. Well, I started those stuff much earlier than most of them. And some of them say that if I had a kid, I'd know how hard it is to be a parent. Ha-of course I know how hard it is. That's one of the basic reason why I don't want to have a kid. It's much more than giving birth. It's about the unconditional love, life commitment and responsibility. Maybe they are the ones who didn't know how hard it was or what to do with them before the kid actually appeared in their lives. Hey, I got it all prepared, yo! I'm avoiding it because I know I don't want to deal with those stuff.

Some people say I'd be a good parent. Yea, that could be true. But still, I don't have to prove anyone anything. And being a parent doesn't always have to give birth to one. A dream I have since I was a kid is to give love to the children who need affection. There are already so many children who are abandoned, lacking of attention, or abused. It will be much better to give them the love they deserve than to add another kid in this world just because we had to.

And if people say it's much easier to say than do, I agree. That's why I think that people need to fully understand how to be a good parent and the best way to prepare and educate them to be wonderful people before they plan to have kids. I guess that's all I got to say now. I wish more parents are aware of their parenting style and the effect for their kids. (;