via divorcedover

On my post last month I wrote about Losing Friends; now I want to specify the types of toxic people that we need to lose. It may make you feel cruel to detach yourself from certain people, but sometimes it's a necessary thing to do in order to save yourself. Because we're the only person who knows best about ourselves and we're the only one who should decide the people whom we let entering our closest circle.

From my experiences of having tons of friends and lost some on the way, now I keep my circle small yet strong. Now I filter the types of people who can get near me, and the ones I keep close. It was hard for me at first to "eliminate" some people, but it's just a matter of priority. Remember that our closest 5 people are the ones that represent who we are. Whether you realize it or not, they share some influence to your mind, energy, and aura. Thus we must keep our environment bright, clean and toxic-free.

To help you out sorting out your "people", here are the list of people you must get rid of:

1. The people who always criticize you.
Yes, it is a friend's obligation to correct our wrongs. But when someone's been criticizing too much, and it's even much more than they ever praise you, well there's something wrong with this people. It's either they're being an unhappy person or they simply don't like you that much. Just get out of there. It's necessary to get a critic once in a while, but you don't need to hear about your weaknesses (in their eyes) all the time. You need to be praised too!

2. The people who never listen to you.
Some say this kind of people is an askhole; a person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them (or simply ignore your words completely). Well, it turns out being an askhole could really cost a friendship. Of course, not all of your advice must be taken but if it happens all the time and they never seem to appreciate your advice, thoughts, and--most importantly--time, it's time to remove them from your list. They don't need you as a friend; they just need you as a trash can. You clearly could use your energy for something/someone else. 

via simplereminders

3. The people who ask too much.
"It takes two to tango," they said. Friendship is "a state of mutual trust and support between allied nations" and relationship goes to "the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected." These "ships" acquire mutual feelings, concepts, and actions in order to achieve a satisfaction, rewarding state of being connected. It's understandable if one party would give more for some time, but turns will come around. If you're the one who always gives too much and the other party enjoys only receiving, it's time to find another who'll do just the same as you do.

4. The people who aren't supportive.
We mostly need support from our closest circle, be it from partner, family or friends. So if they can't be supportive, just leave (or stay away for a while). If they truly love us, they will always find a way to make us feel better, be better and do better. We need to be surrounded with the people who can help us thrive, either personally or business-wise. Moreover, we need the people who will be there for us. If they can't appreciate who we are, what we feel, or what we do, then they don't deserve our affection. We deserve to be appreciated and supported, like (almost) all the time!

5. The people who are fake.
Seriously, who can enjoy spending time with a fake? If you're surrounded with the people who always say too nice things as if they're sugar-coating it too much, you better stay away before you get a disease. As too much critic can do you no good, too much praise is as unhealthy. If you need to always dress up and make up, both physically and verbally with them, then you're not being completely yourself--and it means you're faking it. And one can only go for some length for such mask and drama. Let loose, be yourself, and see who still stick around. Then you'll find your true friends!