I just realized how alone I am this morning, when I woke up helplessly sick and got no one to ask for help.

I have never thought about this during my 4+ months of stay in Bali, far from any family or close friends (well except for that one time when I was sick in my old place).
Now I have a room mate, live near to the office and have more friends than I was three months ago--yet I am still so alone.

Not that I am nagging or complaining. Perhaps I'm just a little jealous. When she was sick two weeks ago, my room mate got her boyfriend and me to take care of her.
Now, here, I am feeling sick and got no one to take care of me. I have to get through it all alone because I would starve if I don't get on my bike to feed myself and still have to come to the office because everybody else are out of town.

Not that I am underestimating her or my other friends. But she doesn't have a bike. How can I ask her to buy me food or medicine the way I did when she was sick? I just don't think she's the reliable kind.
So I have to buy my medicine and food alone, and give myself a good treat to restore my health. I do feel so alone. But not lonely. I am never lonely because I have Jesus by my side.

It's just amazing how I can take care of myself even when I am so much in pain. I think I won't need anyone else in my life but myself.. Situation had really made me such a selfish person!