I was talking with my best friend Rachelle during my stay in her house last weekend and we discussed names. She has a sister who is named after two great European queens, Regina and Elizabeth, while Rachelle's name was taken from French. Her sister's behaviour is like a queen, she said, while Rachelle loves everything about French: its architecture, culture, fashion, and style.

I just realized this: every baby must have chosen his/her name and whispered it through their parents' ears. This must be it, because my name wasn't given by my parents; a Polish priest told them so before my parents even knew they were pregnant with me (Mom was only few weeks pregnant by that time.) I suppose it must've been me telling Pater Glinka of the name I chose -- and I told him because he was the one who could 'hear' me (he had sixth sense.)

I went home from Rachelle's house on Sunday evening and spent the next day watching movies, to continue the first few episodes of The O.C. we watched together. So it was peculiar to come upon this series Victoria on ITV instead. I didn't know they were making this series (I knew there is Emily Blunt's Young Victoria.) It took only few seconds for me to switch from The O.C. to Victoria because clearly, apart from having my name written on it, I do love watching kingdom-based movies much better than about the wrecked teenage life.

So there I went, watching the whole eight episodes of the first season within a week, and fixated by the charm of this lovely film about Queen Victoria. Before this week, all I know about her was as simply as that she once ruled England and her time was called the Victorian era. But watching the film now got me better understanding about her.

via mirror

You don't have to ask me about the setting. I love all kingdom-setting movies, especially for the fashion and manner. Although I may find it's boring sometimes, but imagining to be living in that time makes me excited. I love the dresses, especially the 1700s-1800s dresses -- and this movie's particular off-shoulder gowns. I even have this Victorian Lady Barbie, the only surviving Barbie doll I keep for the past 20 years.

And I love the cast. I love that Jenna Coleman got the role. She has the perfect height, face expression (not to mention that she is pretty), and I love her deep and authoritative voice. And her chemistry with the Prime Minister Lord Melbourne (yep, I now have a crush on Rufus Sewell.) Aaaaand, of course Tom Hughes as Prince Albert. I wondered when did I see that face and just realized he was in Cemetery Junction and I had a huge crush on him back then. So, yeah, I love all of the cast of this film!

The more I watch, the more I found connection between me and the queen, besides that we share the same name. In Indonesian, Ratu means Queen. And in Bantenese tradition, women of royal blood are named Ratu while the men named Tubagus. So basically we share the same name and title: as the female ruler (who inherits the position by birth.) Not that I'm saying I'm a queen in real life/kingdom. I just carry the royal blood from my ancestors.

It was surprising for me to learn that Queen Victoria herself didn't like children (contrary to the fact that she gave birth to healthy nine kids) and much preferred to work instead of spending time in the nursery. I love children. But to have my own will be a burden because I've no interest nor passion at all to spend time on their well-being and give the right amount of affection to those little humans. I just think that it's gonna be a waste of my time and energy. But she had to have children, while I don't.

It's not that I'm saying I'm the incarnation of Queen Victoria. As far as I see it, I guess my soul understood the life I was about to have in this incarnation -- all of the tasks and obstacles -- and she saw a lot of resemblance with Queen Victoria's character, thus she picked that name. I'm glad that the queen had a merciful, gentle, and authoritative personality, and she was open to learn new things. I guess I have these qualities.

Some things I found we share in common are our love for art, and our gentle hearts. Tho we think in different methods, there are lots of similarities between Gemini (the queen) and Pisces (me!) We also might seem unattached from the outside, but we keep those we love close and around, tho we keep physical contact at minimum. We dislike our childhood nicknames and prefer to be called as simple as Victoria (but in Indonesia 80% people call me Veronica instead--thus I prefer Tori than Vicky.)

I hope I can live as big as she did, and have my name written in the hearts of those around me even after I'm long gone, just as she had. And the one thing that she confirmed me, is to wait for a Prince Albert to come my way, rather than to marry without love. Perhaps this is one of the most similarities I get from her name -- or an affirmation that I shall be loved and to always have companions, now that I may only have 20 years together with 'Prince Albert' (check out Lord M, John Brown and Abdul Karim, if you get what I mean.) The great queen is now my great inspiration.


*) main image via cliqueimg.