Another Victoria's Secrets

Lately I have an issue about friendship. A friend has been asking the matter and I'm reflecting the topic myself and discussed it with some other friends.

"Do friendship really need commitment?"
I guess not, friendship isn't relationship where people 'hooking up' and 'breaking up'. In friendship we befriends and there are no beginning and ending except that we're dead. Because being friends is having separated for miles or years but acting like nothing happened when we meet again someday. (Quoted a line I got from one of facebook's applications: "True friendship isn't being separable, it's being separated and nothing's changed.")

So, I guess not; friendship is something that we have naturally, without any commitment because commitment is a heavy thing that needs sacrifices and rules and it's worth only for man-woman's relationship, while friendship shouldn't be finished (Quoted another line from the same application: "There are three things in life that shouldn't be broken: hearts, promises, and friendship")

Friendship don't demand or order. Friendship is to give and take. Friendship is to understand one's mind without having to describe it in words. Another application's item said: Friends ask why you're crying, best friends already have the shovel ready to bury that loser that made you cry. (Meaning: friends still have to question your behavior but best friends understand).

Friendship should be balanced. If one gives more while the other always takes, it's not a sign of a healthy relationship; it's either like one is 'buying' the other one's friendship or one is taking an advantage of the other. And friendship with so much lies, forces, and masks within it isn't a comfort one to be in.

But friendship stay true and forever. It has to happen naturally with people to whom we feel comfortable to be with, to talk with, to lay our heads on, to cry to, and to be just ourselves whenever we're with them. That's what I call a good and healthy friendship.

And I'm one of the people who cherish friendship, who put her friends on top of her list and who values the friendship itself in the highest place. But I guess it's not that easy to get on my top list cuz to find ones with chemistry is kinda hard these days.

One night we sat on dining table at our apartment and discuss some things. Papa is making a new tradition (although it's not a tradition if it's new-taken from an episode of Gossip Girls) to have 1-2 hours of "quality time" with our family, especially now we're being more independent in the new city.

In a night Papa taught us a bit of marketing strategy, one topic he's been an expert to. But the discussion turned in to something about life. And in life, we always rely our problems to God and just flow through the path He'd prepared for us. That's what Papa always told us since we were little.

Papa said, God always give us what we ask for. When we ask for prosperity, we are given such troubles and cases that would make us prosper in the end. When we ask for happiness, He'd give us situations that push us to our limits and made us realize the true happiness when we're all over those troubles. God has His own way to give us His blessings.

We human sometimes don't realize how good He is, how He'd made plans for each of us, which are all beautiful in the end. We are usually being tempted of all those secular things and leave God or no longer believe in Him and not being patient with the process He's doing for us without us knowing it. Such a shame, because I believe that everything happens for a reason and God's reason must be good.

This song has always been my grip whenever I'm down since the first time I heard of it:

I just met this guy in Yahoo Messenger today. He added me from nowhere and we just chat. At first I took on him casually, like to any other guys who were trying to get to know me in this virtual world. I said, 'Nope, that doesn't work!'

But we bumped in to a topic of 'purpose of life' and I mentioned that I've found mine. Then the topic turned out to be more serious for I thought he was so curious about this. So I told him whatever that I know and gave him some book references and only God knows how a little thing for one person could be a huge something for another (similar to the quote 'to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world'.)

I'm amazed on how he could be so excited of what I just told him. He thanked me for making his day and I thank him now for making my day! Cuz as what I told him, God give us what we need, not what we want, I believe that it wasn't a coincidence that he found my email adress and added me in to his friend list and chat with me today. I believe that everyone that we meet in this life, even if he's only a janitor at a building or she's just a maid in a house, they have something that would be useful for us, whether their impressions are good or bad, but if we process it all, will add something in our life and perfected us as human beings.

Funny that in life things happen like two-sided blade. When we give something, we always take something else. When we do something, we always get the gratitude from the person who receives it. By seeing the thankful sight or just the words 'thank you' we feel happier, burdens on our shoulders are like lifted by invisible hands. By giving and to see that our gift is useful for other people we can smile in our heart, bcuz that's what we have to do in this life, that's the only reason and purpose that we live in this world: to help others. To give love to others. To treat others as we treat God.

But sometimes one side is sharper than the other one. It might hurt us more, make us happy more, or meant more for one person while the others feel the opposite or simply nothing. But back to what I was saying, God give us what we need, and by his measurement, not ours, that suits the capacity of what we can accept.

We are like lakes. We live by receiving water from one river and we have to deliver it to another river and that's what make the lake full of life. People can play around the lake or admire it from a distance. Fishes can live under the water and that makes a good habitat. But if we stop the water transportation and keep it just for us, we die inside, just like the Dead Sea. Dead Sea don't deliver water to other place and its salinity is too high for any animal to live in and therefore have no life within (the idea of this philosophy was taken from Sean Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens.)

Like the lake, we accept blessings and kindness from other people but instead of keeping them for ourselves, we need to pass it forward to others. By teaching, a teacher learns as well. By giving, a person receiving too. It happens like that in circles and what we give is what we get. What we sow is what we harvest (read Bible please!)
So, the key to live our lives to the fullest is to give. It's as simple as that.

About this YM guy, he was saying something about searching for a light in a dark, his lonely nights, him being afraid of so many things, that he gained so much money but at the cost of loosing himself [sorry I quoted our conversation, but I need it for this post] and I think that everybody have to get over that process of life. Only the ways are different, depends on the person. Depends on the need and character and background on the person. Once again, God only give us what suits our capacities.

So, I am saying now that not only I who made his day but he also made my day, by his thankfulness, to know that a simple sentence can make a difference for him, helped him find his purpose of life, and made his day. I'm glad I can help and thankful for his appreciation. Thank you, Adi!