Rian came over to my place last night and we had some conversation. We talked about stuff we dropped a long time ago, when we stopped contacting each other. We started to converse the old way, I'm like having my old buddy back, like we've never been apart by time and distance, like we're always converse like that all these 7 years of friendship.

Then he mentioned something, that in a relationship it's normal for us to get interested in to someone new.. and compare them to the one we already have. Like toys, we're normal to play more often with the new ones and abandon the old one. We're usually comparing the old and new ones although it's not the right way to do. Becuz every toy (or every person) has their own positives and negatives, plus and minus.

So there shouldn't be a comparing for nothing (or no one) would win. If we chase something, we'll lose another thing. Somehow we're usually returning to the old toy that had always been with us from the beginning. So we have to focus on what we're looking for. And for a long-term-with-commitment-relationship (read: marriage), we need a great quality of communication and -well, of course- sex. We just have to find someone with same discussion interest with us cuz love (feeling) will only be the starting point and to develop a higher kind of relationship, all we need is communication, then trust and understanding.

I'm reflecting this with the situation I am having now. About Yodi. About Mario. And every other guy in between. Rian said that I shouldn't take any other step forward to get to Yodi anymore for I've always know that nothing would happen between us, so why should I take any step in that wrong path? I just have to simply stop and change way. I really have to make a move in the path that I choose, the one that I know would happen, or at least is the right one.

I dunno about Mario, the thing about us still has at least 20% of possibilities. But not for the present time for I still want adventure. I still need to discover my limits and the world beyond my imagination that I still could reach. I'm keeping the 'file' for future reference... for the least.

But for Yodi, it's definitely a dead-end as what it was 'written'. I just have to stop.

Btw I feel like I'm the most naive one in the office. I've been fooled twice (or more maybe) by the same person I've trusted a lot. He deceived me once with Orie's case and now, on his second resignation he fooled me again...

This same guy came back to the office (later I know that it was after my HRD Manager came over to his office and 'ask' him to get outta the company in a more legal way) and told me that he was asked by his uncle to make a business in Manado, his hometown. Now he's working in another company, together with our ex-ID staff, hi-jacked by our soon-to-resign-ID Manager and here I am, twice fooled so naively.

Remember the quote 'Fool me once, shame on you; Fool me twice, shame on me'...

D.A.M.N! I feel so terribly a big FOOL ('shame on me' huh!) God how could I be so naive, too positive-thinking while the 'world is spinning so crazily around me'? I've no negative nor suspicious thinking toward anyone around me and I'd be more a fool if I don't have 2 of my best friend in my office. They're the gossipers who always know every scandal/affair/issue happen in the office and I'm always the last to know.

Yeah, I still have to learn a lot in this working world, especially about who I'm gonna trust in. But one thing for sure, boys are full of bullshit!


All images were uploaded from www.decor8blog.com. Thanks Holly Becker for the ideas!