OK, I admit it that I am stressed out. First, the projects, then the family problem, and my own love life. OK. So I started the day with the wrong foot. Perhaps it was from last night's unfinished problems and the first SMS I received this morning was a spam telling that it was "my dad" using other people's cellphone and asked me to send some amount of money to bail him out of the police office. Some kind of stuff that happened much too often to everyone in the country lately.

What? So they don't know that my dad passed away, like, 9 months ago?? What?? I took this too personal?? Yea, I know. It was all become too personal when you have a bad day, right? Well, I was just kidding. I know it was a spam and I was okay with that. And when the carpenters came and they asked for payroll, client came and tried to chat with me and stuff--I suddenly became all too cranky.

I was talking with Mom the other day, about how you can't lick back what you had spitted. About how a nailed board can't be as new even after the nail is pulled. About how you can't gather all the feathers from a pillow after you blow them all over from the top of your roof. People just need control and the lowest point of your guard is just when you are at your lowest.

A friend just sent me message just about what I needed. When your guard is low, it's the easiest leak where negative thoughts come inside your fortress. That's when the devil come and ruin your whole defense just like that. A single stain can ruin the whole bucket of milk, remember? OK. So I guess it's either to hold my anger a little more--or just find an escape. I think the getaway idea sounds the greatest.. I wish.

I need to reestablish my manner and my goal. I need to learn again to write the other's mistake on the sand and carve the blessing on the rock instead of the other way around. I need to forget the shit other did to me and remember only the kindness. I guess that's the hardest part of all, right? We tend to record the bad things first; to replay them when our bad days are the most reflex thing to do for our brain. Keeping it in the positive lane, in the other hand, needs more effort and isn't easy at all. But at least we can all try.