[this was originally posted on Jan 16, 2014]
*put The Fray's "How To Save A Life" chorus part for back sound*

Today I have lost a friend. Not that she died, she is just out of my life. I really am not in the mood of telling complete story about this, but I want to mark the date that she is officially gone from my life. Although the cause of it was really an unimportant annoying thing, which she asked me to delete some photos from my blog.

First, this is my blog and I don't like ANYONE to tell me what to put or not to put in. Second, the way she asked me was not so polite (which was too demanding), not in the pleasing way that one would consider a request. Thus, I had followed her request few weeks ago, but she asked for more pictures to be taken down. Her excuse was that she was cuddling with her ex and one photo tend to pornographic. FYI, the photo was: the ex was holding her left shoulder in a group (there wasn't any pic just the two of them--always group photos) and the other 'pornographic' one was a pic of few people sitting together in one sofa in a house in which there was a party.

Too bad I couldn't put the pics here to prove it to you because all I did was always wrong: I asked her to be patient because I wasn't with my laptop to edit my blog--she kept on texting me with words I couldn't understand (as if I could delete the pics with just a blink of eye); I asked which date should I delete, she didn't replied correctly--and the post with dates she mentioned wasn't exist in my blog; I said I couldn't open my own blogspot, she said I was a liar (and told my best friend, my other friend, my brother, her cousin and even her ex's mother about it, which knew nothing about this case); I replied to her in more firm words, she replied with hysterical 'how dare you'. Now, I just stopped replying, she's freaking out we're not friends anymore. P.S. The list above may happened in different turn--I may lost track of order--, but these all happened for the last one month of my once peaceful life.

As much as I hate the idea of losing someone--tho she's already not getting along with me for years now--but this is the force that came from out of myself, therefore I cannot do much about it. Some things I can change, but some things I can't. This is one of the second things and sometimes it really happens in life. Now that I look back at all the messages she and I had been exchanging the past whole month, I could see how she isn't appreciating me and my rights and my limits and being so selfish living in her imaginative world in which she's so afraid to be seen imperfect. The imperfectness here I'm talking about is of one having the time of her life, having fun with friends and boyfriend in the same picture frame. None of those were pornographic or out-of-the-line stuff--they were purely some young adults having fun.

Apparently she's been taking her life too seriously and decided to sacrifice friendship instead. Talking about the last subject, however, she had been abandoned by so many for the past 3-4 years, only they are all being fake in front of her. But then again, all she sees is the other friends are still 'standing by' her and I am the only one who don't want to do things as she wishes. I'm the only traitor she sees but I don't mind about it. I stand on my ground and rules and I don't play fake. I don't do what my heart says no to and I just say it upfront.

Well, I guess you just shouldn't mess with any Aries in your life. Once they declare war, war will they have, no matter how you avoid or postpone it. An Aries will always gets what she wants, in any way. Now that I deleted so many photos from my blog--which I still mourn about it, because no matter how ugly, those are the memories and part of my past. And I really can't accept her reason about concerning her children that could someday see the pics--hey the kids aren't even born yet!

I had always thought I could never understand Geminis and Sagittariuses. Now my list is added with one more person. I really can't understand how selfish they could be. If one cannot accept the reality and the past of one's life, do not blame others for keeping photographs of memories. But then again, it's never a loss for me to lose the photos and that kind of friend. I just dislike her way of approaching me, I guess that's the main reason why I didn't want to erase the pics. Had she asked me more nicely and patiently, I'd grant her wishes just like that. Maybe this is just a day when you ought to lose a friend. A rare day indeed.