Networking is necessary and important. Social life is one of our basic needs. But sometimes we have to meet people who aren’t in the same way with us and still have to keep the smile on our face.

I’m never in the same world with Ester. She’s one of my best friends and she considers me her sister. But sometimes she’s a bit too pushy for me. She has her own thoughts and traditions and dreams and perspectives which are different with mine. She thinks more in Mario’s world while I am in the modern western world’s perspective.

So I was a bit troubled when I visited her in her room at RS Limijati for her son and she was kinds of pushing me to touch her baby. It’s gonna be ok for me if nobody pushes me and I can touch him if I want to. But Ester made it a bit too pushy. Well, not to blame cuz he’s her first baby and sure she wants her soul sister to love her son as much as she does. But I’m not her.

What made me angrier was that she discussed my willing not to have baby in front of her not-so-close friends. It meant public. I don’t need to discuss my belief in front of new people, people who don’t really know or even care about me. I don’t need them to know my perspective. I know Ester did it to collect voting for her perspective versus mine. I know she wants me to hear what public say about not having baby. I know that she wants me to be just like her cuz what she has now made her really happy and feels complete as a woman and mother. But once again, I’m not her.

Ester kept pushing me. She mentioned it again in front of Fanny’s mother. Thankfully that Fanny’s mom understood (or at least she tried to understand in the end) about what I thought. Ester said: “Do have a baby for your own, at least one if you don’t want many. If you don’t want to take care of it, give them to your parents to take care.”

Didn’t she hear what I said just before? That IF I had a baby, I don’t want it to be anyone’s, including parents, babysitter, or even maid. It should be mine and I’m the one who’s gonna raise it. By letting anyone else take care of our kids, they’d grow up like people’s ways, not ours. I was mad at her, but well, she’s just delivering a birth and just starts to taste the joy of being a mom.

Can’t blame her, but can’t she just respect what I think, what I want and what I need? Can’t she just accept me as I am, let me be like what I want and just be a good friend to me? Why do people always pushing their willing to me? Why do they always want something from me? Can’t I be just who I am?

Ester also said: “Every parent must want the best for their children. Deep inside they must long for having grandchildren and they must want you to get married and have your own family.”
Hey my parents didn’t say that kind of thing. They respect my perspective and my choice. They sure want me to get married and have babies in the end, but if in fact those things made me unhappy, they prefer to my happiness than having the ‘perfect picture’ of living life.

I always respect people’s thinking, people’s choice on doing particular things. I always try to understand the factors which made them think what they think. I don’t need people to understand me fully cuz they won’t. It’s okay. Like Yodi said, we always can adapt to people, we are flexible, but not many can adapt to us. I just need them to respect my choice to live this life. It’s my life anyway, not theirs. So why bother?