I am such an indecisive person. It is true. For the last two days I was hesitated of choosing which way I will spend my upcoming weekend.

My journalist team in office is planning a fun outdoor activity from a month ago, going to raft in Cicatih, Sukabumi for a full one day. I was so excited and was looking forward to join the leisure. It will also be some kind of farewell party with the colleagues since I am leaving them soon.

But I just remembered that my brother's birthday is exactly the same day as the rafting day. He's gonna have the celebration in Bandung so I gotta choose one; rafting or family--Cicatih or Bandung.

As usual, I'm confused. I asked people their opinion on this, what if they were in my position. But still I can not decide. I need a holiday after the hectic work days but family is still as important to me. I want some adrenaline rush and adventure but the money can be used for something more worth it (considering that I'm resigning soon and will have no fix incoming for some time.)

So, after days of hesitating I've finally decided. I'm choosing my brother over the fun. Mom told me to listen to my heart but I couldn't. Everytime I decide, a con-opinion appeared. At last I tried to make lists of comparison. I put money and family-quality time above the fun with colleagues, which I could do in some other time. Plus that I've been rafting before and it won't lose me anything in the world.

The same thing when I decided to resign (again..) My consideration was about my pride and about letting the team down. But I am able to be selfish here. If something bad happen they don't really care about me, either. My burden is only mine. My tiresome is my own business.

But with family, they care. They take care of me and they fill the empty spaces in my heart with their warmest laughters. And my lovely Ara will be there for me, too, (though he'll always be around) but I think they're more important to me.

Yes, my brother is having birthday each hear but he doesn't turn 24 every year. This is a special once-in-a-lifetime stuff and I wanna be there to share the joy and to support. So, yeah I made the decision done. I'm going home for this weekend.