It's not that I don't like the job. I love writing and stuff. Huntings and surveys are part of it and I love meeting new people, experiencing new things. What I don't like is the transporting. As everybody know, Jakarta is a super crowded and jammed city. It made me be in another dillemma. To have a transportation means a responsibility.

To drive a car means you gotta deal with the traffic jam and the gas price but you'll get the convenience. To drive a motorcycle means you gotta deal with the pollution and heavier vehicles (especially when you meet buses and trucks) but you'll save time. To drive a bicycle, well, you gotta deal with your body stamina and air pollution but you save money.


Not too easy to decide, huh? Well at least they're my problem every morning and night when I need to get to or from the office. Perhaps renting a room near the office will be the best solution now. I still dunno when to find one. I wish the time is more than 24 hours a day. But weekdays are less than 5 a week. Lol. 

Tomorrow's a holiday (Pentecost) and I'll have a day off from all of the hectic-ness at the office with the articles and stretched deadline. Maybe I'm too tired that I have too many unimportant stuff in mind. About my career life, the option Ara is offering, the environment surrounding us and all of my dreams.

Maybe I really gotta choose (like Rica's problem she's concerning at the fb today): career or love. Can not be both. Well, I think I can never be in love if I want to concentrate on my career cuz work has already squeezing my energy to its last drop. Love, on the other hand, keeps me alive--but needs to be maintained, too. But my energy is already drained by the work, so how am I gonna maintain the love?

Perhaps Ara's proposal is quite a good solution from this dillemma. I just wish that I won't ever regret this, cuz I've broken down once and experiences made me a different person than I used to be. I am now more a logical person but I am still mellow sometimes. It's kind of contrary and I'm still adapting with my new relationship. These all are pretty consuming my mind and made me confused.

I am missing my Livia and the moments of hanging out at the PVJ. I know that I am and will always be 'in between' (blame the mixing of the three different blood origin again.) I gotta choose: hard working days in the busy capital city with all of its luxurious and pain or enjoyable life at the cool town with all of its leisure and convenience. What a hard decision it is!

I wish my prince on his white horse will fetch me quick before I'm drown even deeper. Maybe my life is really a curse, or a blessing.. But to fall in love means to sacrifice my ego, and I know I have to win the love before the ego. Oh how I wish.. but life had never been too easy on me. Can it now be that easy and beautiful and so true yet so unbelievable?

I just gotta survive five more months here, and we'll see.