Who is this man? Why is he here? My life was completely perfect when I first came to Bali. But a week after that, this guy came along to my world and invited himself to join. I didn't really know him. I only met him once last November 21st.

I am currently reading Aleph, which is talking about reincarnation and the things that happened in our pasts. It talks about love at first sight. And just like Hilal who insisted to be part of Paulo's journey through the Trans-Siberian Railway, Ilham insisted to join mine. On this journey I planned to go thru alone, I got this company who makes me questioning a lot of things.

Not that he's unpleasant. He is fun to be with, in contrary. The thing is, he seems to be too perfect for me. He loves me exactly the way I want it to be, and he's there for me during my bad times. Even on the worse situation, he claimed that he's not going anywhere. (He says) he's gonna stay till the end. I really didn't know if such man with such heart still exists. I thought real gentlemen were already extincted long time ago with the end of black-and-white movie era.

But he exists. He's "here". And he's staying. In fact, he's coming here to Bali to be with me, planning our future together...

Wait.

This seems just too good to be true. Yeah, as I said before. I find it's kinda hard to believe that I have such a perfect boyfriend.

Not that he's perfect, either. Nobody's perfect, as everyone would agree. It's just that I got all my priorities of the guy type in him so I can put aside the religion difference or age gap with him. It's his strength that covers his weakness and makes me love him so much for being the way he is.

It's amazing how he can make me (or as Kenneth said "someone like me", as if it's such an impossible thing) commit to him while there are so many other eligible bachelors from all around the world here around me, especially when I am all alone and free in Bali, far from family and friends.

But I belong completely to God now. I surrendered myself entirely to God's plan and here I am in Bali, having a long-distance-relationship with someone I barely knew in Bandung. It's completely out of mind, but I know God led me to him and I can just follow His path. Whatever He say, it is whatever I am doing.

By the way, I was chatting with Sary this morning. We discussed about our relationships with these 'perfect' guys, apart from the different religions. Sary (a Moslem girl from Palembang) is having a Catholic boyfriend, so we are sharing so many similar stuff now.

She said, the older we got, the more complicated stuff we deal with in a relationship. I said it's a good one. It means that we are developing and getting more mature, getting a level higher in this school of a lifetime.

But I said to her, when we were young, we seek for partner who fulfills our physical expectation. The most beautiful sexy chick in school, or the most gorgeous senior jock... we cared nothing about character and focused more on the appearance.

That was why, as teenagers, we were mostly disturbed more by hearty thingy and emotional problems with our partner. We usually get someone who is from our church or the same religion environment or from the same school, which is usually share the same family/education/religion background. Perhaps our parents like them so much or their parents match with us. Mostly, their friends circle are also ours, so it doesn't matter. The problem comes more from the unstable characters or true-selves as young adults.

But as we get older and experienced more, we learned that the cover isn't everything. The content is what matters more. That is why, as we seek more into the heart (and brain), the problems occurred came more from the outside, such as physical features, family, religion, friends/environment and so on. We have to fight against the current, and I think it's worth it if we know who we are and what we want.

We are not our parents, even though we were raised by their law and habits. But we are unique and independent. At the end, it is all between us and God. Parents may show the way, but the decision is purely our choice and responsibility to commit with. Of course, this case matters a lot in Indonesia, where you are not just gonna be married to your partner but also to his/her whole family too. I pity us for being in such condition, but that is the way it is.

Well, anyway, I just go with the flow now. I believe God leads my path and I shall not worry about anything. I know that He understand me a lot more than I do, so I believe that anything He grant for me now is everything that I need. When I don't worry, I receive a lot more of blessings and I just be grateful of it. Aren't you agree with me?