I was discussing with a friend about relationship tonight. It's about a person who changes and pissed off the friends/other group members. This happens when people (could be friend or spouse) we've known for ages/spent so much time with us change suddenly while we are still the same/expecting the same.

We have to remember that we are unique. Each of us have different character, taste, dream, idealism, etc. Sometimes we meet along the way and stay together for some time. But nothing is eternal except for God, so do we humans. Even we're in a long friendship or even marriage, we are still a person; a character, a soul. We still need to grow and expand. We need to change in order to be as perfect as the image of God.

Sometimes we forget this and let our humanity limits things, including to limit our friend/spouse to grow. We all change eventually. Some friends/couples change and/or grow together, some apart. But nothing stays the same, and Paulo Coelho once said something like "we are never the same person we were a minute ago". I think it's true, because we grow each minute of our lives, without realizing it.
Sometimes people gets divorce or friends became stranger because they don't understand this exact formula of life--well I hope you know it now that you are reading this post.

I got the image I attached above just a few minutes before the discussion with my friend, as if it was shown to me for the discussion itself. I'd also quote the lyrics from Az Yet's song "Hard To Say I'm Sorry":


In order to keep the love alive between friends or spouses, we need to give each other some space. Solitude doesn't mean that you don't love each other anymore; it's giving a chance for our loved ones to develop themselves. Like in the movie Sex & The City 2, Carrie and Big found a way to keep their relationship fresh: to have a 'day off' at Carrie's apartment for some me-time (I think it's a really good idea and solution for couples).

So, back to my friend's problem, I'd say: we need to stop demanding things from people. People will change eventually, so let them be. We can love them by letting them grow the way they are supposed to and be better. As friend/spouse, we should warn them if they are becoming out of control or getting involved with serious negative things; but as long as they're still in the safe zone--even if we see it as a negative thing--just let them experience the process.

We need to do stupid things once in a while to know wiser things. We need to fall to learn to get up and stand higher. Doesn't mean that we should always fall, but we all have different paths and processes, so just go with the flow. God is very creative He doesn't like to have uniformity among us. He has so many different ways to teach His children, so let Him. Don't limit God's power, let Him work on us.


I wish you all a happy Palm Sunday and be ready to get into the Holy Week. God bless us all!