Another Victoria's Secrets

All my life I've been a nomad and went here and there for a short time (Dipta said I work for my self-existence only.) I've always wanted to leave Bandung ASAP and had prepared myself to go broader than just Jakarta but now I have to go back to Bandung...

Well I am just thinking how things go in circle. What comes around goes around. Like it or not, the path of your life will somehow go to the places you dislike the most. Not that I am anti-Bandung, but I've dreamt of bigger things than this.

What I'm worrying about is not the regretting stuff. I know that everything happens for a reason and there ain't no regret needed. What bothers me is the fear. I'm afraid that I'd miss Jakarta with all of its good and bad. I've adapted with its lifestyle especially for the last one and a half year and now I have to let it go.

I am afraid, because I've settled my lifestyle here. I had officially moved over from Bandung and left my life there. I've started a new life here. I've left my room unoccupied and the house never feels the same. I am afraid that I'd feel bored or lonely or miss Jakarta more than ever.

Actually I really hate living in two cities at one time but both cities have their own spots in my heart. Yet I need to fulfill my destiny; I need to go back to Bandung and start building my own business world. People have different purposes and I guess this is mine. Guess I need to put the fear behind and face the new beginning whatever it takes.

It was said that MJ was preparing his huge comeback debut next July 13th, the Final Curtain Call. No wonder his departure shocked most of people, especially the ones who were expecting it. No one knows when you're gonna leave this world. And for me, MJ had once carved his name beautifully inside of people's heart. Despite his pedophilia issue later in 1990s, his pop career on the 1980s had been one that rocked the world.

I was wondering; how many people on this earth could have so many fans all around the world who'd mourn over their death? Not many, I know. But not everyone has to or can be like MJ. Each of us has our own purpose and destination in this life. We're all supposed to touch other's life with the capability God had given us (the talents stuff) and how people react to the end our lives here becomes the examination of our lives overall.

We all know how MJ ruined his career life by his sexual divergence and even weirder and weirder facial surgeries. But we can never forget how a talented 5 years old black kid singing I Want You Back with the Jackson Five. We saw how this kid grew up and became the king of pop. Admit it, tho you're not a fan, that he's the most phenomenal star in the 80s and early '90s. He's the only person in this world who was born black and died white. Like it or not, he was a super star.

I remembered the novel Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. She wrote on the book the experience of a little girl after her death and she saw from her heaven the people who had knew her while she was lived gathered in a field to give her their last respect. To see people gathered at Times Square for MJ, it made me think how our late superstar saw them from his heaven. I hope it can help him to have a peaceful rest, despite his death is due to murder.

I was thinking about another thing; how can I make my life as inspirational as MJ's. Tho I don't really expect to be as famous (or as rich) as he was, I want my life to be useful to my surroundings. I want to make myself as a help for those who need it. I hope, one day, when I die people will remember me as someone who had touched their lives, made them better or simply more colorful. I wish I could be a useful person in this world.

[alvin, me, w, you lee, anne, gimet, velda]

I was super exhausted yesterday so I just stayed at home, recharging my energy. By around 3.40 we went to St. Theresia church for the 4 p.m. mass. Thankfully we still got seats.

After the mass we walked to the eX and went to Sushi Tei Plaza Indonesia. Ben catched up with us later after some opening dishes. Full enough, we went underground and browsed for books at Periplus and ak.'sa.ra.

I met Velda, Gimet and Alvin coincidently on my way to ak.'sa.ra while my family was already at the store. My friends said, W was in eX waiting. They were going to meet him. So I took care on my stuff and went to eX and met the gang at California Pizza Kitchen.

There were also Anne and her new boyfriend, and of course W and his new girlfriend, You Lee. It was really nice meeting them all again, tho wasn't complete--minus Lita, Denny, QQ, Dennis, Uban and Rian (and many more..)--but it was still nice.

On our way back to Plaza Indonesia, we met Ronald and Melvina; Ronald who had been asked for he was You Lee's highschool mate, and Melvina who just greeted me at fb the day before. It was nice meeting them, and also Cink2 whom I met earlier at eX.

At the end of the day W dropped me home by around 10. I was still soo tired due to my recent activities but it was a really pleasant intermezzo, meeting with all of my Antiokhia friends. I hope the friendship will last.