Another Victoria's Secrets

Last Monday, a friend who works in Hard Rock FM Bandung messaged me and offered me a voucher to stay in Holiday Inn Hotel for a night. But it was valid only until May 31. I only had 2 days left but I took it without think twice. And by Tuesday, I checked in with my friend Irma who accompanied me. We tested the bed, we took bath immediately, we were just like people who never been at hotel room before. But we didn’t care. I got it for free so why don’t experience it with excitement and joy?

We talked, we shared stories and our fear and our worries and our happiness for about 3 hours. I’ve been missing Irma for the last month I guess. By the beginning of this year I told her that our togetherness could be over soon. That’s why we enjoyed our 3 months time (Jan – Mar) to the fullest. We clubbed, we hang out almost everyday, just as often as we could to see each other.

But I guess the time has come for us to be busy on our own. I have a boyfriend now. Automatically I spend more time for him and less time for my girls. Ester is busy with her future husband and all their business. Livia is still arguing everyday with Ian. Nothing is really changes from Livia and Ester actually. But my new status and Irma’s new job and her other friends really get us separated more.

So the voucher was kind of a way for us to get connected again since we don’t really chat by phone (expensive rates) or meet. I cherished the moment just the two of us before her friend fetched by 9.30 p.m. and my mum and Tan Astrid came to stay the night.

The room was great. It has 2 big beds and all good facilities. I planned to open my laptop but the internet connection costs quite expensive. I also planned to read my unfinished Sophie’s World book but I got merely no time for that cuz the ladies went straight to sleep by 11 p.m.

One thing that made me laugh real loud yesterday was my guy’s message. He sent such philosophy-like sentences that made me laugh. He mentioned me as ‘sesosok wanita keturunan Inggris’ (a frame of an English-breed woman). What a funny phrase he used. But I was so glad, so happy that he wrote such poetic words to me. I love poems and all literature kind. So that he expressed his feelings with ‘my’ style, it was made me really proud and happy.

This morning I woke up by around 8 a.m. and had buffet breakfast at the restaurant in the hotel. A buffet package costs Rp.95.000/person. Whoa! So we only ordered a croissant set for Tan Astrid while I and my mum took almost every kind of the food served on tables.

I took toasted bread and butter (as usual) and some of poffertjes with honey and a mini glass of milk and a mini glass of apple juice and a sausage. All the fat I must avoid and I was extremely full up. Then my sister came and we went to the room in floor 5 and got ready and then we went to the fitness center and exercised there for an hour. After we took bath, we went home and felt so refreshed. Thanks again to Hendrik and all of his vouchers benefit for me. I still have a pending J.Co Donut voucher to take in his office tomorrow ^_^

And thank God I could experience all the luxurious of staying at 4-stars-hotel. I wished I could spend it with the girls all together or with my beloved boyfriend Mario. But there are still lots of time to do that in the future and I was happy to share the benefit with mum and Tan Astrid. They deserved it.

I just reread my old posts and I just realize how different my perceptions and perspectives are when I was single and now that I am taken.

I got lots of high-standards criteria for guy-to-date list, that’s the ones one couldn’t even pass the half. I got my rules, I set too many goals.

For example, I don’t like all that Chinese tradition, ex-Aloysius-students (no offense please, this is just my object), but I now get a boyfriend who has it all. At first I couldn’t understand, people saw him and they reminded me how he isn’t my type. (Perhaps that’s what they also told him. That I wasn’t his type)

But now that I am taken, I could see the power of love could put all the standards go down. I can see that love could give us ability to accept things I never wanted/thought about before. But to see all my posts again, I am glad cuz that shows me how perfect my current guy is. And how I love him and to make me realize that I fall deeper for him than I ever thought I would. Even better, we get to know each other more and I know now that he is the one that I love and all the personality I seek inside.

This is our love. This is our lives. I don’t really care what people think or see about us. I just know that between us, we give our best shot. We love each other, we communicate well, we understand and also respect each other and that’s the main rule of the relationship.

I wanna banish every doubt and hesitation between us. Especially for me who have thousands of reasons in my mind to avoid love and all good things happen. I just wanna love my guy truly and madly and deeply. I wanna give us a chance to be happy and experience all beautiful thing could happen between lovers. I wanna be free with tying my heart with his. I wanna be a new person with his love showering me.

I just love him. I really do. Thank God we’ve ever met on Ciwalk that nite…

~untuk Mario


Jika boleh kurayu bulan
Kuingin ia terangi malammu
Jika boleh kulirik bintang
Berkilau tanda kurindu dirimu

Jika boleh kupinta awan
Berarak melukis wajahku untukmu
Jika boleh kumohon Tuhan
Menjaga tidur lelap kekasihku

Kemudian malaikat datang
Bersamanya kudibawa terbang
Mengarungi angkasa tuk mengintipmu
Yang larut dalam bunga tidurmu

Di mimpimu aku seorang putri
Dan kau pangeran berkuda putih
Kau mengajakku berkelana
Menjelajah dunia penuh warna cinta

Kan kutiup kecupan di bibirmu
Dan kutitip malaikat tuk menjagamu
Karna kutak bisa selalu di sampingmu
Namun kuingin kautau, aku mencintaimu

Last Wednesday was the first time for me to take travel car journey by myself to Jakarta again after years. I took a taxi to my guy’s place at Jakbar and spent a whole day with him, visiting my old campus Binus and meeting my old friends there. And we had dinner with my beloved cousin Iwan and his girlfriend Viny.

We killed time until my back-ups from Bandung came. Ester, Boyang, LS and Ian came by around 11.30 p.m. and they had late supper at Binus before we went straight to Lita’s house to stay overnight there.

We woke up the morning after and had breakfast before went to Ancol. We were 4 happy couples going for some fun at Dufan: Ester and Boyang, LS and Ian, Lita and Steve, me and Mario. I am so glad the day was ever happened. The girls are my best friends of all the people in the world (minus Irma who couldn’t make it). And we were all going with the guys we love. I can feel that we are all special to each other. I sensed love all day long.

So it didn’t matter that we couldn’t ride the Ontang-Anting, Meteor Attack, Perang Bintang, Niagara-Gara or Kicir-Kicir. The amusement park was full of people. It didn’t matter that we paid Rp.70.000 for entry and went on hot, wet and sweaty day. The only thing mattered was that we were all in love and we were glad to spend the whole day with the person we love.

After that we went to Kemang to try the famous shisha at Little Baghdad. My old friends Cink2 and Qucay came too so they made the 10 of us. We had Arabian dinner which was the first time for me, and we shared 2 shishas for us all. It was really fun, cuz this was the first time for some of us. And for me, to try something new with the person we love is another blessing, another joy. And I really glad Mario was there with me.

Thought we were gonna go back to Bandung after that but then Ian insisted to buy some Bread Story at EX. It was kinda misplaced cuz we had our ‘Dufan outfits’ to EX, all tank tops, shorts and slippers, but we didn’t care. We finally reached Lita’s place and went packing for an hour before we went back to Bandung again. I and Ester stayed another night at LS’s place and I ended the day with gratitude.

I feel blessings. God has been so kind to me. And to have Mario beside me is the greatest blessing I now have. I feel stronger and stronger feeling for him, greater and greater love for him. Every minute we spent was blessing. That Lord has loves me so much, he gives me the guy I need to be by my side. I am really glad that I would cry, cuz Mario fills my emptiness, he completes me and he’s so perfect for me despite all of our weaknesses.

I never met a guy my age could be so perfect like he is. And he loves me and that is the most important thing. I always know what love is, but I learn to love this time. I learn to fight my ego. I learn to accept all the terms I don’t want but in the end, I know it’s all right. I learn to give my best, I learn to have him and be grateful for that.

Mum says that we couldn’t have what we want if we don’t have God’s love. Now, I have a guy I didn’t want but a guy I need to be with. I have my beloved friends all around me (though Irma wasn’t there but she’s still around me however) and they are all with the guys they love. I am very glad and happy and I know that God loves me so much.

Mum also says that it is a sin to rely on our own strength, our own principals, our own willing. I am learning to give in. I learn to let God lead my way, to let Him give what I need, not what I want.

In 20s we have our ego and principals of life. We are the best. We could do anything and conquer the highest mountain. We are on top of the world. But we forget that despite our free will, God has plan on each of us.

I used to boast on my life. I have all a girl ever wants: happy family, smart brain, good looking, great people around me and network connections to many channels. I am blessed in a way though I am not super-rich like Paris Hilton. I was conceited. I thought I could rule the world. I thought I’d have all the things I’ve wanted, all things I plan.

But God works not like I do. He gives process, not result. He wants us to learn things well, not only enjoying the fruits without any meaning. And He has plan on all of us. He has something big for me. And now I start to realize how beautiful God’s plan is. How perfect it is instead of my own plan. So I want to learn all what God has given me. I want to learn to accept all the things not in my plan, but it must be better and even greater than whatever is on my mind.

And to remind you, God is good. He never fails.

Life is just unpredictable sometimes. I went to Jakarta last weekend. Arrived on Saturday noon by car with family and Mario fetched me at Plaza Senayan then we went to Aunt Magda’s home. The family gathered there and I brought a new member, my boyfriend.

We also got invitation to Denny’s birthday feast at Solaria, Puri Mall by 6 p.m. that same day so we left the family gathering and went to the other but we were late. Luckily we came at the same time with Lita, Steve and Nina so we ate the dinner together while the others had finished. We moved to IPC and played pool there, we opened three tables for 13 people of us. That nite was fun but tiring.

The next morning began by 7.30 a.m. for me while the others were still sleeping at my aunt’s home. Mario fetched me and we went to Blok B Church. After the mass we went back to the home before to PIM2. There I and Mario watched for the girls Goldi and Angel, just like babysitting. We had lunch and played some game at Timezone. When the rest of the family came, we took some private time together at Starbucks before we finally had to separate.

Mario was so sweet. It’s like a blessing to me. One weird thing happened that noon was when we were back from the church, right after we parked and were about to enter the house, an old man with his cart passed us by and said that Mario is a blessing to me. I was a bit shocked, to have a stranger telling me this, plus he mentioned some ‘Christian language’ such as I am blessed, that I have to be grateful, and to praise the Lord. Well then, how often this stuff happen in your neighborhood? For me, this is the first time ever.

But I’d take his advice that I have to be grateful. And that’s exactly what I was doing at the church just half an hour before. I was telling God how grateful I am to be with Mario now. And I prayed for this to stay long and true, not like my previous relationships which were disasters.

This feels so weird. This old man came to us just like in the movies (remember Bruce Almighty, where God sent His messages through the beggars at the streets?) But I thank God to let me hear the message from the old man. I pray the Lord to bless the old man as well. I really love my Mario. He treats me right and I have to stick with him (soundtrack: The Pussycat Dolls-Stickwitu). Still counting my blessings and he is one.

And for my sister Clemency, she was having a great weekend as well, though she’s now kinda sad (I know she’s sad even when she said she feels normal) cuz her friend is going to New Zealand for school. She likes the boy and I believe this boy likes her too. I put this into my blessing bank for this boy being so cute (not to mention physic) and nice and gentlemen not like the previous guy (though the previous guy was my childhood friend). My blessing bank is full right now!!

Last night I met G, a friend I didn’t like. She was a disaster. Everybody hates her, including me for she was being so cruel to me in the past. But yesterday we met in Gading, and she called my name, she put her friendly smile—not the fake one I hated—and we exchanged some news about some things. Well she was really nice last night and I am glad. I don’t like keeping enemies. I dunno whether she was being true to me last night or still she keeps some hatred. But people change, and I believe she’d experience it. If she’s being nice to me, how can I hate her? So I am so happy to reduce the list of ‘hate people’. Perhaps I can say she’s the only person in the world I never liked. For now she’s being nice, I can love all the people in the world.

By the way, Dennis my long-gone friend messaged me last night. I think he misses us. He knew we gathered last Saturday from Andhika which was accidentally happened to be at IPC too. I barely recognize him, his hair was yellowish but now it’s back to black. I always like Dennis for he is one of my best friends. Mum likes him as well but we hadn’t meet or hear about each other since the conflict long time ago. Not with me but there are some things couldn’t easily be forgotten.

For me, he stays as Dennis, the loving guy who always needs love. He sure does need love and attention. He is still unstable even in his 26th of age. He just needs some grip. I dunno, things are going different now. No more AADD. And I miss Dennis. Still dunno what God plan is to us, but I think it’s good to have Dennis back messaging me. I hope he can be a better man after the problems, whether it’s already done or still there. I only know a little about him now, for our bestfriend hates him and they lost contact. I just pray that one day the fellowship will come back into a complete form, with AADD reunite. Cuz last weekend just felt so weird without QQ, Iwan, Ryan and Dennis...