Another Victoria's Secrets

Life is a never-ending place to learn. There’s no limit of how much you have learned or achieved in life because there are still so much more. With love, there are even more things we have to learn.
Sometimes we think we’ve achieved enough, we’ve learnt enough. But the fact is, there is never ‘enough’. We are granted with this life and though it’s hard, though sometimes it’s not the same with our perception of the ‘perfect life’ we’ve dreamt, life is beautiful and meaningful.

In problems we’d find the true meaning of our lives, our selves, our mission, our part in this world. In tests we’re formed, shaped, built. With love we’re fulfilled. And though we’d find hard ways, even if it’s a giant rock or even the perfect storm, we can always stand for love. We can always survive with love. We always give chances for love. We learn how to be mature and sacrifice in love and we learn to know ourselves with love.

There are never ‘enough’ in love, for love and love is all that we need.
I need to confess a little thing here, about giving. All these times I thought I gave the ones I love enough from me. But the truth is, I only give them with my own measurement, from my own glasses. So I don’t and refuse to see what they really need from their selves. I was rather selfish. I thought I was the best, I gave the best. But I also have to understand them. To give and understand, I think these are the best duo needed for a good relationship, besides the communication, trust and love it self.

For love, I still need so much to learn. I need to left my ego and let myself fulfilled by love because logic and feelings are speaking of very different languages.

And about friendship, I have to stop to listen to what people say. In fact, I know the person personally while they only see the surface. And I need to left over the measurement and start to see the true self of the person herself. I can not be selfish anymore, because I know the key to true happiness and joy, and I can not abandon the key just like that after knowing the use of it. I have to use the key so it can work and everybody can be happy.

And the key is simple. Don’t judge the book by its cover. Just as simple as reading the book, I can also know and understand a person. And for that, no need self-ego. No need self-measurement and self-judge. Just wear them off so we can see the true beauty of anything in the world.

How beautiful the world is if everybody understands and does this. How peaceful our lives will if we can love each other without demanding with our ego. And for that kind of life, I request you, too, to check on our attitude and behavior to the ones we love.

One last words from me: don’t let real love pass you by. Amen.

Only a day after the party, the first preview of my final project was held. I was so nervous and tense bcuz I didn’t know who Mrs. Irena was. There were at least 4 lecturers to be in the room, 2 were my leading lecturers and 2 others were the tester lecturers. If there were more than 4 lecturers, they would only watch the preview.

I presentated the “Interior Plan of Prasetiya Mulya Business School Library as the Source of Economical Information”. My leading lecturers; Mrs. Rini and Mr. Natsir were very kind, they helped me gathered and processed the datas and prepared me so well for the first preview. I knew one of the testers, Mrs. Yunita was one of the tester whom most of students afraid of. She asked detailed questions and we have to know our project better than her to avoid problems. But Mrs. Rini was friends with her so I knew slightly how she’d gonna ask me.

But the problem was, I didn’t know who the other tester was. Mrs. Irena, her name, was first to be seen on that preview by Mrs. Rini and me. The rumors about her were plenty, but only one point: that she was a very critical lecturer. She asks about anything. And even Mr. Denny (one of the most critical lecturer) and Mrs. Irena’s friends said that they were also annoyed by her questions, they usually couldn’t answer that super critic questions.

And so I gave the presentation, I wasn’t as nervous as when I waited outside cuz I knew my project and got prepared well. Mrs. Irena and the other lecturers smiled and I was relaxed then. Mrs. Yunita began the questions and I could handle them. So then began the questions from Mrs. Irena.

It was so many of them, so difficult to answer and often I had to look at my lecturers but Mrs. Rini looked as tense as I was and Mr. Natsir could only gave me a weak smile. I felt I had given wrong answers, I felt I didn’t answer them well bcuz I forgot to bring all of the datas I had, so I couldn’t answer some of her questions. This lecturer was smiling all the time but her questions were so complicated.

I forgot most of the questions when I got out of the room but thankfully Mrs. Rini had made me notes about the questions, critics and advises. More friends waited outside than when I got in. They asked me how it was and I could only smile plainly and said it was difficult. I was so tense I got so tired and sleepy after that and when I finally got home, I slept for 5 hours to recharge my battery. My boy said I was too tense I lost a large amount of energy. I was more than tense I felt I had failed to answer the questions I could answer if I brought the data that day.

But when I went to campus the day after, Mr. Natsir and Mrs. Rini said I brought a nice presentation (over their expectations) and I’ve answered all questions fine and that all the questions Mrs. Irena said were not in my field. They were more to IT and techniques than an interior design. So I shouldn’t get so worried cuz I could answered all the necessary questions.
I was relieved by their supports and words. They really are the best lecturers and I am so lucky I had them as my leading lecturers. There’re still 3-4 months till my final project judgement, and I’m certain they will help me to reach that point and get over the tiring semester so well. I’ve no worry about failing and I now have new spirit to get over this cuz I have the best supporters around me.

Pray and fight with me this semester, guys, I know we can do all the tests in life if we don’t fight it alone. At least we have to ask God to fight with us. Then God will give you victory at the end, just like when He fought for the Israels thousands of years ago.

GAMBATTE NE!

Hey it’s been a while since the last time I wrote here..

Well, I’ve been busy: the final project and presentations, the holidays between. The holidays were fun, especially last week when my best friends and their partners stayed over after the BBQ party at my home to celebrate Ester’s, Mario’s, my, Troy’s and LS’s birthday. It was our 23rd birthday but Troy’s 24th.

At first we shopped at Toko Setiabudhi for food supply then we processed it at my home: chopping, slicing, baking, etc. I made my special strawberry and soursop puddings too (that’s all I can make in the kitchen). We waited for the guests to come (which were only Troy, Irma & Yanto) till we started the fire for the BBQ. But a problem occurred, the charcoal wasn’t enough for all the meat we bought that day. So Ian & Mario went to the mini market to buy them but the mini market didn’t sell charcoal. So we had to wait till Ian’s friends to come but also we had to keep it silent cuz they were gonna make a surprise to LS.

We waited until around 9.30 when they finally came. So the BBQ was started again and the we were full of schaslick, french fries, spicy chicken, sausage, salad and grilled corn. We had LS’s black forest birthday cake and pudding for desserts. After that, LS and friends went to the club (but they ended up in karaoke room) while we just chat and slept by around 2-3 a.m., all of us but Troy in one room; my sister’s room.

When we woke up the day after, we were so lazy and still sleepy to make a move so we were just lying in my room, made fun or just shared stories. But however after lunch time we were all dressed up and after finished the beef and soup we bought the day before, we went to Kopi Selasar and spent our last moments there (but without LS and Ian).

It was tiring but also fun, we had really great time and we realized, the chance to gather like that wouldn’t happen too often, maybe it was only happen once a year if we get lucky. People changes, friends too. Not that the feelings between us would ever change, but the chance would not happen twice. We promised to keep the friendship till the end, till everyone of us would get married, have children, get old, and finally die.

We cherish the meaning of friendship, respect, understanding, love, and togetherness. There are still so many things in this world we have to find, learn, and do (but also we felt so old bcuz of Ester’s wedding and now that she’s pregnant).

We dunno what or where life will lead us to. We are still so young, not even 25. I got a feeling that this would be my last chance to see them this often cuz I plan to discover life in the metropolitan Jakarta. But I really do hope the chance will always available for me to see them all for the rest of my life cuz they really are my best friends EVIL.