Another Victoria's Secrets

Yesterday I went online to test the new wifi at my house, then went to the salon after lunch. I went to Simin salon behind the BTC Pasteur (bet none of you know that place cuz it's quite hidden inside the small roads.) I went back home to get prepared and went to Mario's house by 4 p.m. 

We finished preparing and went to the reception place, Grand Aquila Hotel, by 5 p.m. where some of the ex-employees were making a demo to hire back them. It was quite annoying, those siren sounds and long black banner they displayed in front of the hotel. But thankfully they stopped by 6 p.m.

The party was nice, it has golden theme so both Larry and Laura's hair were dyed in gold. Mario and Irwan were the 'loyal' best men of Larry's, they followed him everywhere before he was supposed to 'meet' Lala at the procession by 7 p.m. 

[Jane, Noah and Mario @ the party]

But instead of the new bride and groom, the central of the family's attention was to Noah Rafaya, Mario's first nephew who was held by many different people at the party, made him feel so hot and bored, I guess. He's still 10-11 months old and is so cute!! 

[Noah Rafaya]

After the party we went home (to Mario's house) and played with Rafa before he slept. Then, we went to the Cellar where the birthday guy Noven was already waiting. There were Noven's sister Whilma+Mauricio, Mario's sister Ci Lia+Ko Afuk, and the rest of them were Noven's friends, which were all my schoolmates except for Desyl whom I know from the Antiokhia MKK (everything's just linked between us).

The Cellar was closed by 11 p.m. so we had to move to other place to continue the night so we went up to the Jack's House. We chilled there till 1 a.m. cuz the music was lousy and we were so tired the whole day. We went home and slept right away. I had so much fun yesterday!

[Noven, Mario and me @ The Cellar]

I went today with my parents to the Carrefour to shop some monthly supply and on the way home we passed the Petojo area and my dad told me something about the old shack on the corner of the carrefour.

Reading those sentences above on the book reminded me on some part of my life when someone was meddling with my clothes, literally. I just realized now that it was something personal, the way of my being in this world. I knew that I was always irritated by her comments on my appearance but never realize its emotional effect on me.

I wanna share a little about this and this is a bit story about that: she was my best friend, and is still until now, and mabye is will always be until the end. But we have different world, type, taste, style in life in any matter. Her direction is more eastern while mine's more a western. 

This happened when I was in my last year in high school until 1-2 years after that. She affected me so much since I went out almost every weekend with her, 2-3 times a week. She loves me as a sister and that was why I always said 'Yes' to her, cuz I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I knew she wanted the best for me.

She wanted me to wear her kind of clothes so I could look charming in front of the guys. She wanted me to diet/exercise so I wouldn't look so fat. She wanted me to do the make up so I would appear more gorgeous. She wanted me to wear high heels to make me look slimmer. She wanted me to let my hair be, not with ponytail or any other dos. She wanted me to do this, wear that, try this, use that. All she wanted was the best for me, so I could get the attention from the boys as much as she got. So I could be as interesting and wanted as she was.

She forgot one crucial thing: I wasn't her. I'm not like her. I didn't like any of her picks for me. I didn't even want to appear 'gorgeous' in front of the guys of her type. Cuz I wasn't her and I have my own type of guys and my own definition on 'gorgeous' and my own life. 

We're in different track but she put her wagon on my railway. It just didn't and couldn't work that way, she didn't understand. The effect on me: I lost my character, my self-confident. I had a personality crisis and couldn't find my true self. I was lost. But she never knew this, I never realized why.

Up until the next year or two, I found a girl with unique style. She never hears people's comments or looks at their styles. She made her own style. And she helped me find mine. And that was when I realized why I was never so confident about my self: becuz she had been telling me what to do and what I was supposed to wear. She had been dictating me that I was no longer know what's right for myself. 

I let her dictate on my life for almost 2 years and during the moment I was sort of losing myself. I left her for a year when I felt so full up with her strong suggestions and forcing advices. I ignored her invitation to hang out and went out with new people instead. That was the worst moments of our friendship but after that we both realized in different ways; that we aren't alike.

But we learned to respect each other's opinion, taste and direction of life. She now finds herself a husband and starts building a little family with him while I still walk on this free world of singleness, perfectly happy and fully loaded with my own perspective and purpose on life.