Another Victoria's Secrets

1. It is more stylish and fresh on me than my long hair
2. It needs less care treatment for I'm not so diligent of it
3. It takes me less time to set, anytime and anywhere
4. It is so practical to wear for all-day-activity
5. It keeps me cool under the hot and sweaty weather

How about you? Do you prefer me with my short or long hair? :)

I just got through the bluest Christmas in my life ever. Problems in my big family seems like never-ending and this is the second Christmas we spent without Daddy. I got nothing to do but driving my sister and companying my aunt today, no party nor celebration whatsoever. This year, Christmas feels like just any ordinary weekend to me.

But apparently luck is getting nearer as the night came to an end. Yodi, my ever lasting friend, asked me to go out and picked me up and we went to 7 Eleven where we met Joey and from there, we went to Kemang Food Festival and met Leo and Bobby. I just got home now and I think I have few stuff to be spared here before sleep.

I remembered how last week Joey told me he incidentally visited my blog and found his name on it where I reviewed my life in the whole 2008. So because now is already near to an end of 2010, I'd like to review my life all along the way, to retreat for a while and go on forward better for the next year. By my resolutions last year, I'm gonna compare it to whatever I've accomplished this whole year:

1. Get rid of the acne on my face--all of them--ASAP! OK. I think my face is a whole lot better and cleaner now so I'll make a tick here.
2. Excess most of the fat in my tummy before March. Yep, this one, too. People say I'm a lot thinner today, so, another tick.
3. Eat healthier food, do more effective lifestyle. Yes! Definitely, for I am now officially a vegetarian. Yeay!
4. Reduce, reuse, recycle more.. and refuse plastic bags. Guess I've contributed okay here by bringing spare pocket-bag everywhere..
5. Get a job.. and start a business on my own. Yep. Job as a magazine editor and business of interior designing. Another tick!
6. Wake up earlier and do yoga every morning. Wake up earlier: yes. Yoga: no. Hm, half a tick. Lol.
7. Go to bed earlier--the latest is at 12 a.m. Surely I have to do this on weekdays since I'm officially working. Haha!
8. Pray every day and be more active in the church/parish. Pray, yes, I still do.. but active in church? I don't think so.. Sorry :(
9. Help people more, be more sympathetic and proactive. Perhaps my contribution at donating a story for disaster victims can be counted for this?
10. Be on facebook/other social networks less. Err.. this one's an opposite. I exist less in facebook, but MUCH MORE in twitter. *Sigh.
11. Get another new tattoo(s) on my neck and perhaps ankle. Okay, okay. Soon. I promise, before the year ends. Next week!
12. Be more fashionable on street and delicate at home. Yea, I can smile already here for I'm considering I'm getting better in this field.
13. Shop less, be more creative with recycling stuff at home. Oh, I really can't say.. I don't really shop but I do go out a lot, especially the last 3 months. Help!
14. Learn to cook, at least basic food for everyday meal. Another sorry, I'm still at the Amateur's level.
15. Add another at least 50 new friends along the year 2010. Proudly say, I got many more than 50, especially the last 6 months. Hooraay!!
16. Go to Thailand, especially to Phuket and Pattaya. Still a NO to these places, actually I didn't go anywhere further than Bandung-Jakarta this year..
17. Blog more of the qualified posts than the nagging ones. You tell me about this. I think I blog way more than last year's. But I never count. 
18. Be grateful more and nag lesser--if possible zeroed the nagging. A positive thinker, I think I am now. Too optimistic sometimes that I care less.. 
19. Learn a new language or continue la francaise. Another no. So sad.. I hope next year will be a yes for this :)
20. Get married. LOL. Definitely, totally, certainly a NOT. Lol. No discussion for this, for apparently I'm far from ready for this.

15 YESes and 5 NOs. Given the points, I think I have to be grateful for things that happened, too. So for the whole 2010:

1. I got a lot--I mean so so so many--new friends, colleagues, possible clients and definitely best friends, especially Cheryl, Rachelle, Ratih, Maya and Alexandre. Thanks so much for being in my life! You guys really colored my days and helped me got through the hardest days of my year.
2. I still have my old friends around, too, even after things had been hard before but I know I will always have Yodi, Joey, Lita, Irma, Livia, Esther, Nalya, and Sume in my life. Thanks from the bottom of my heart, my lovely friends. Friendship is definitely the most precious gift one can receive. I am definitely blessed.
3. I had learnt a lot from my latest relationship with a guy. I still dunno what I'm feeling for him now, but I know I got my lessons. I just know one thing: that from now on, I'd be too damn careful with anything involve with relationships and my heart. I won't fell twice and I know how to protect my heart perfectly.
4. I've moved back to Jakarta and started a new life post-breakup. I gotta admit that I love my new life more than the one I just lost. Thanks God, for giving me signs that guided me and giving me only the best of Your plans, not mine.
5. I've settled my business plan and slowly 'leaving legacies'. I've accomplished several interior design projects and hoping that the company will be developed well.
6. I got a job of my interest: an editor in a magazine. I've loved writing since ever and I'm gonna keep on writing in my life. And the bonus is, I love my colleagues and office and I have a positive vibe being here.
7. I just launched my first published short story which I hope will be the beginning of many more stories and books in short time. I shouldn't stop here. I gotta start from here and gonna be a true writer!
8. I had many of my best friends got married this year: Delta+Ferry, QQ+Cindy, Adrian+Angely, Syannie+Ferry, Irma+Yanto, Liana+Landry, and the last but not least: Andy+Widya. I am truly happy for them and wish for the best and expect more friends to find their true soulmate in the next few upcoming years.
9. I feel much more solid, mature, and certain of my future. I know where I am going and I can make some plans here, thanks to all friends and problems and experienced all along the year. It's such a great feeling to be not in an uncertainty like where I was last year.
10. I learned that life without Dad is definitely harder, but somehow there are always rainbow after every thunderstorm. I saw so many changes in life in the past 12 months but I can enjoy them all and know that all happened for a reason, a good one. I know God will always take care of us and we shouldn't be worried of anything. People are changing. If not, they are being changed. It's just a matter of life.

I'm gonna make 2011's resolutions soon, but meanwhile I gotta say my grace and thankful for such colorful year I had been through just now. Thank God for sending me people who helped me learn, change, grow and developed, be better all the time. I wish you all had a great year of 2010 as well. Good night, fellas!

Bring a little sexiness for this year's Christmas folks!! Have a merry, joyful, warm and blessed one to each of you! God bless us everyone!! :)

[me and the title of my short story]

I went with Andrew and Alex after work to Linggar Seni Gallery in Kemang Timur for my short story book published by nulisbuku.com. The project was to collect one story from each writer all around Indonesia that the selling will be 100% donated for disaster victims. So within 8 days the team gathered more than 300 stories (from more than 300 writers) that are compiled in 17 books. The selling price is Rp 45.000,- each copy, which incidentally completed the numbers of 8-17-45, our national independence day.

We came to the press conference a little bit late and got only part of photo session, questioning and story telling. So after the event, we headed to Dimsum Festival Kemang, had late dinner and joined with Andrew's friends: Budi, Wisnu, Anan, Henry, Anggrito, and many others. We chilled out till around 2 a.m. and I just couldn't sleep for the euphoria.

Subject: Order Book
Body:
-Name
-Address
-Buy book #xx
-Quantity

I went to a small reunion with my old colleagues last Thursday to Jittlada at PIM 2 and watched the AFF soccer game too. We continued the gathering to Burger & Grill, Ahmad Dahlan, till 11.30 p.m. and I got so many catch-up-stories, new knowledges on business and working world, and some enlightenment I just figured out myself.

So one of my ex-colleague is now working at the same company my best friend were. She told me all the benefits, the enjoying moments she got during her working time. She told me so many interesting stuff that made me think it was so much fun to work at the company, until I remember how in the very same building my best friend worked about a year ago and quit.

I see that these two ladies are an extreme opposite. My best friend, being a choleric-melancholy, takes everything seriously, based on "supposed to...", and being a little too panicked about almost everything. She sweats on small stuff. While on the other hand, my ex-colleague is a truly joyful sanguine, with her daily sunny mood that can brighten everybody's day.

Only when I brought on the subject that my ex-colleague realized how tight the competition is in the company, how ignorant the people in it and how seniority is a common problem there, especially for newbies. But she takes only things that can make her happy and doesn't mind the obstacle. By concentrating only on the positive things, she gains positive results. She enjoys working with people she's comfort being with and uses the benefits the company is offering.

From here I see exactly the same company, or a problem, case, whatever your word for it, from two opposite angles. The optimist, being in the same cycle of colleagues and under the same company in the very same building, talks about good things because that's what she think of while the pessimist is being too worried about subsidiary stuff that she couldn't see the advantage she actually can enjoy.

I remember the story I got many times recently: about two boys who were allowed to explore a hill full of candies and sweet treats any kid would dream of savoring. The first one was too busy collecting as many as he can carry on that when he came to the end of the hill and being asked about what he got along the way, all he can answer is the names and shapes of the candies in his hands. While the other boy, having tasted all kinds of candy he saw, though he brought nothing in his hand at the end of his journey, he can tell people which candy is sweet and which one is sour, what a beautiful view of the colorful candy-hill from the top he saw, and how contented he was to have the journey.

People are mostly the first boy. People are being too worried about getting as much money, having as idealistic as they can of a job, arranging as perfect a wedding they want, but ignoring the most crucial and important thing ever in life: the beauty that lies in all of it. By concentrating and sweating on the small stuff, they forget to enjoy the main, big stuff. No wonder if there are many people who are awake one morning or in the middle of the night looking at the partner who is still sleeping on their side, on the kids they had, on the house so big and luxurious they built but still feel cold and empty on the inside.

People forget to feel. They think too much and fussing on the supplemental things because people told them so, because that's the way things should happen, because that's what they're supposed to be. Why not letting it flow and happen by nature? Why not loosen up and open up, for nothing in this world is permanent? Things change, time fades. What should happen a century ago is now completely different, there are no manual that tells us how to live our lives.

There are guidance such as holy scriptures, norms and laws about good and bad, but not how to solve every problem. Use your creativity, be flexible, blend in with your surroundings, be updated. Like bamboo trees that can survive stormy weather while centuries-old wood trees collapsed. Bamboos are being flexible, they let wind flow between them and follow the current. Those timbers are being stiff and don't allow changes according to the situation that get onto them.

Succeeded and happy people are always those who are flexible, updated, easy-going and positive. Failed and gloomy people are those who shut the door, being rigid, worry too much and negative. The last words of both sentences are the roots of all it: positive and negative. For people's mind is the most powerful source to change anything in the world: our thoughts are magnets to all the things in the world. Positive minds get positive things, good people attracted to other good people.

No matter what condition you are in, what problems that get to you, your mind and the way you think will lead you to the result. If you think one way would be windy, hard-rained, and full of other obstacles, even though you are given sunshine and bright sky during the journey, you won't realize it because your head is being too full with worries. But if you set your mind to enjoy the trip, even though there was a thunderstorm along the way, you'll still enjoy it, even in the ugliest weather. When your heart is light and joyful, you will be able to say grace to all condition you are in, and feel like being the happiest and luckiest persons in the world, like in the image above.

Be positive today, folks, for life is short and is a blessing, not an obligation nor a curse. May God be with you all :)

I went to Bandung last Saturday before noon with my colleagues. In the office car were me, Herdi, Oki (both are Men's Folio editors), Mba' Sri (in my editorial team), Pak Rahman (driver) and Pak Rosyid (office boy... or rather a man than 'boy'. Lol) We departed from Jakarta by 11.30 a.m. with me driving straight to Bandung and arrived by around 13.15 p.m.

We had lunch at Teh Gula Resto and went to the Concordia Hotel where we got rooms prepared by our boss. Got 2-3 hours to get ready, I took shower, made up and dressed up and by around 5.30, Cheryl came. We had hours of chatting and discussing problems and it was truly a quality time I cherished so much since we hadn't have a chance to meet alone for months already.

At around 7 p.m. Andrew (account executive), Pak Lindon and Aldy (both in design department) came just in time we needed to be off. We arrived at the Hilton by 8.30 and I met Ian and the rest of our colleagues (mostly are my bosses) at the reception. It was a nice big white-green wedding but we didn't spend too long there.


We headed to PVJ right away, I was in Cheryl's car and met Dimas, Maya, Otto and DJ Yoas there. We hung out at New York New York and my colleagues joined up till 12 a.m. when we split up and we went back to the hotel. It was a very tiring day for me, but I was super-excited to meet my friends again.

I woke up quite early the next day at 7 a.m. and had buffet breakfast at the hotel's restaurant before Dimas picked me up and we attended Cheryl's Christmas drama at her church, ICC. The service finished by 12 p.m. and we went to Ciwalk at around 1.30 to have lunch at Hoka Hoka Bento and met Rachelle, who ended up hanging out with me and Mom at Treehouse Cafe till 6 p.m. before we leave the town.



I was too overjoyed to meet Rachelle and Cheryl, the two dearest girls I love so much recently for their love, compassion, presence and twinned souls with mine. They took care of me a lot especially for the past 10 months and the most amazing thing is that we share mostly the same interests and stories.

I just got a visitor tonight. A colleague came to clear the misunderstanding we had. I actually didn't have a problem with him, but I was annoyed with some of his treatment to me at the office. Before that, to be frank, I admired his ability of speech and positiveness I don't think I can ever equal.

So we talked about some of personal stuff and working stuff and I was a bit shocked by my own reaction of the mild confrontation. I appreciate so much of his effort and gentlemen-ness that he came to me right away. I am aware that not so many people can do such thing, including myself.

By all the stuff that we talked about, I realized how much changed I am now to be compared with who I was just six-eight months ago. Perhaps because life had hit me so hard that I learned to deal with it this way, but for one thing I am sure: I am now a terribly sarcastic person.

I dunno why but lately I found so so many guys have problem with me by my "rude" behavior while my single rule is actually simple: I am an easy-going person who doesn't like too many chit-chat about unimportant things, especially when it's being repeated a hundred times a day. I feel like a waste of time and energy for such thing. I already hate hypocrite, two-sided people and such chit-chatters just almost being on the list.

Actually I am just being straightforward and honest but apparently, not so many people can accept my virtue. They mostly take it the wrong way, especially (one of my Alexs said this) those who have a "special" feeling for me. OK, I get it now from the boys' side, though I thought being to-the-point is normally very much a boy thing.

The other things I realized, was when I met my ex boss and also owners of a furniture line tonight in a new shop opening I accidentally hopped into. I was quite surprised by my light nature when I mingled with them. I found myself being comfortable talking with them, people who are supposed to get my respect. I chatted and laughed with them and I realized, this wasn't me. I've loosen up and this is the new me.

Oh, one more thing. I also discussed about some problems at work with my colleague tonight. And another shock to my own, I found myself giving solutions for them. I dunno why I can even talked about them tonight, but I think being too often with my Mom really made me think practical like her. I subconsciously pay attention to things around me and analyze them on my mind during my relax activities and often find the solution to the problems there.

I am not trying to boast anything here--this is my blog anyway--but you all know how I love to share new things and new enlightenment with you all so here my latest news are. I am changing. Not the too-kind, too-naïve, too-tolerant and too-lazy Vicky I used to be, but a more mature, focused, practical, straightforward and (hopefully) efficient Tori I am now. And I hope my changes are for the better. Have a great weekend fellas, for I am going out of town tomorrow. See you all next week!!

I was completely unoccupied yesterday (and today) due to office's moving stuff. We moved out from the fX Residence building at Jl. Sudirman to Jl. Hang Tuah so I was utterly idle for two full days. Fortunately that I brought my new-bought secondhand book Life of Pi by Yann Martel that accompanied me for the full two days.

Later on Tuesday night, long after hours of reading through the pages of Pi's life, Iyay took me to the Black Cat cafe, Senayan Arcadia for some blues. There was Trias Akustika playing featuring a number of magnificent musicians such as Iyay's uncle who plays harmonica Harry Pochank, left-handed bassist Andre and his wife-to-be/sax player Sistha Anindya a.k.a Andien, and British blues singer Sue Bonnington.


Having to leave the event by midnight (the party was going on till around 3 a.m. but I was worried about how to go home alone at that hour and also having to go to work the next day) I just prepared to go home when Joey said he was coming to get me. So then he was, and we went to Mangga Besar for post-midnight supper and some chat. It was such a great night I experienced, and great people I met. But of course, all have price to pay and I lost 4 hours of sleeping that night that I had to redeem tonight, so, chao, amici, buona notte!

e Dio vi benedica!

Recently I've been watching and listening to people's problems and learned something from them. Most of people, regardless how young or old, are tend to hear only things they wanna hear or things they believe. They ignore reality, because usually it hurts.

I studied from recent cases that people also tend to conclude things too early before they listen to it perfectly. I give you an example: Amber had a perspective and she declared it in a discussion forum. Jade, to be resposive, disproved her argument and debated it, questioning it that she found leaks on Amber's perspective. Amber, being offended, noted in her mind that Jade is agree to be her opponent, while in fact Jade isn't necessarily agree to any of the arguments.

People are used with 1+1=2 while in fact, 2 isn't always come from 1+1. It can come from 4:2, 8:4, 9:4,5, and so on. Many ways to go to Rome; all one need to do is to think out of the box. Leave the template things are usually be made of, think of many other ways and listen to each word in a sentence. Mind the details and think wisely. These are stuff that people tend to ignore and caused miscommunication.

It ain't easy to be a wise person, I admit it. I'm still far from it, too, but at least I try. One thing to be kept in mind: that everyone you meet is battling their own problems. We all come from different backgrounds and therefore, different point of views. We all experienced different situations, too, from different conditions at home and different traffic jam on the way and different cases to be solved at the office, and so on. Even with our so well-known best friends, situation can be different each day.

So it's best to hold our judgement before we know perfectly in what condition one is talking. It's better to understand what had made their days before thinking badly about what they said. Better to ask "why" before defining their position on our appraisal. There are always reasons why one say or do anything, so we better find out about that rather than being defensive or worse, offensive.

Too many siblings and best friends and partners splitted up because their lack of understanding. They ignored the details and judged too soon. They are being prejudice and negative toward each other and stopped talking for days, months, and even for years. Where's the love in here? People are talking about words of God, they preach each other about paragraphs in the Bible. They decipher verses in Al-Quran and quoted the Dalai Lama, but what is happening in the world today?

People still hate each other, they intend to hostile those who aren't in the same boat. What about the 'Unity in Diversity' our ancestors taught us? Don't they remember about the Babel tower God had ruined because people are supposed to live in differences? Where is the respect we ought to give others? And is it that difficult to try to understand each other? Why even bother small insignificant stuff while the more important thing lies in the bigger picture?

Seriously, I am disappointed. People really stop loving each other and forget the meaning of life. They are drown too deep with their own perspectives and ignore other's while their opinion aren't always the right one. The fuller the cup, the less knowledge can be added up to it. And the less people know about things, the more arrogant they are. Ironic, because beyond this earth we step on, there is the milky way and beyond the milky way, there is the universe.

Never, ever think that you are already the greatest or that you know all, no matter how old you are. Once you think like that, you just close the window to neighbor's yard and even the gate of greater knowledge. Our lives are a never-ending learning process, and what we know is never enough. Please do note this in mind: that you might not be the righteous of all and what other's have in mind might be better than your argument. Please do think and reflect before act and respect one another. That way, our world can remain peaceful.

A month post my latest break up, I'm back in touch again with some of my exs. I've met two of them and been BBM-ing with one. This is quite awkward actually, but I'm glad we are keeping the good relationships, especially with Mario whom I've hurt the most and Ferdie who was my schoolmate. Some things can never change, like people whom you play with during adolescent years and people who played major part in your life.

I know I've changed so much from who I was 10 years ago when I first experienced a broken heart. I've now turned into a powerful and independent woman I've always wanted to be, especially when I was a 16 years old girl who was just dumped by her first-love boyfriend. I've even changed much since last year, when I was totally in love with my younger boyfriend whom I thought gonna be my last destination.

Those days were gone. I am now becoming a strong woman who isn't gonna fall for such crappy romance any guy would offer, or such lame promises of never-ending love and happy-ending marriage. No, such things are just way behind me now. I am building my own forbidden city with lots of friends as its fortress. I am building relationships with friends and other networks so no man could ever bring me down, ever again.

It's actually weird for me not having any crush, for they say it is horrible for a Pisces like me to not having someone to flirt with. Apparently, I could deal with it just fine. For about 2 weeks recently I had a forbidden crush, which I had to stop immediately, and I did. It was hard at first, to let go of him and though it was only for a short time and nothing serious ever happened, the memories stayed. It was hard to accept the fact that he is the exact type of a guy I want to be mine, but unfortunately has a girlfriend already.

He was never meant to be mine from the first time, so I had to stop the euphoria of getting his attention before it become an acute pain. It was truly hurt and I suffered a lot for about a week, but I couldn't stand seeing myself as the girl who destroyed my latest relationship with the love of my life. It's even more painful to see his girlfriend as where I was several months ago than to accept the reality that he's never meant for me, so it made it much easier to let him just go.

Amazingly I see myself now free of all his invisible bonds, thanks to my friends like Lita and Alex who are always around. In time, stuff with work, side businesses, social networkings and friends presence made me forget--and like always, time heals.

By meeting and chatting with some of my exs--people who had became the most important persons to me once--I see the transformations of my life. Each of them reflects a part of my life and I have to thank them for participating, no matter how foolish it was then; they had somehow helped me being who I am now. Thank God for ever sending them to me :)

Got the link to this cool local web from the press conference I attended last Thursday, check this out, fellas!

I just went back from watching Denzel Washington's latest action movie Unstoppable with Alex and Andri at Blitz Megaplex midnight show. We had a little late supper at Menteng afterward, then reached home by 4 a.m. I had fun, since this was my first time go out till dawn with friends other than Joey / Yodi and friends. Apparently I can go with "other" people. Lol.

The night before, I went with Alex, too, after work. I had time gap before he picked me up so I chilled out at fX and met friends from Cola Float who were practicing their rehearsal before showing up yesterday with Lifehouse at Epicentrum Walk. It was nice to see Kris and Mangun at such crowd when I didn't really know where to go that night.

I also bumped into another old friend, Kang Iyu, a marketing communication officer from RCTI (known him when he was still working in Hard Rock FM) when he was waiting his community to bike with their fixies. After some chit-chats, I had dinner together with the Cola Floats at Ya Kun Kaya Toast.

And that was where I met Onov, the marketing communication officer from fX, who introduced me to his colleagues, Chandra and Natalie, and also their president director. It was such a great night for me, after one super-long trip and back to and from Mall Artha Gading to see the launching of Informa Furnishings (recently known as "Index".) At around 11 p.m. Alex picked me up for midnight supper at Q Smokehouse Factory, Panglima Polim before dropping me home.

I was super exhausted, but glad to have the day. Especially because God had sent me another angel to accompany me during these "hard" days. I've had so many Alexs as best friends in my life since I was a kid, but apparently too many Alexs is still not enough. Perhaps that was why I've loved the name of "Alex" since I was a kid... or maybe I pulled them closer because I loved the name the first time? Either way, I am glad to have them as my best friends :)

And after the art expo, I went to this printed ad expo at Senayan City with Alex. We took a look at these brilliant ideas for a while before late supper, and here are my favorites:

I went to this museum on duty, but I really enjoyed it. The Ethnicity Now expo showed some artists' bizarre and unusual artworks under the 'ethnic' theme. My senior editor, account executive and me came to the press conference, dinner gathering and the opening before we walked around the gallery and saw these magnificent art exposed in Garis Art Space.