Another Victoria's Secrets

Today was my sister's graduation day. We are all so proud, especially Mom, for she ended her "responsibility" on getting us educated. Clemy had done her 4 years school in Tarumanagara University in Interior Design major and now graduated as a S.Ds (stands for Sarjana Desain or Design Grad--different with me who got the title of S.Sn for Sarjana Seni or Art Grad. She got the title right!)



Even more, she was graduated as cum laude with GPA of 3.79. She's the record breaker in our family now! We then celebrated the occasion with small dinner at Caza Suki, Mahakam, with Isman, too, the proud boyfriend. Too bad Ben couldn't join us, but he did earlier when we took photograph at King Foto. Well I'm just contented today for my sister's day.

I just found out this morning that today's Indonesia's National Blogger Day (Oct 27, 2011). So I'm gonna say congratulations to all Indonesian bloggers for keep on posting and--especially--to blogwalking here and drop comments to make my blog posting better each day.

Yesterday, I spent most of my day chatting with my grandma. We were talking about life, perspective, love and stuff. She shared so many of her life experiences (believe me they are––since she is now 78 y.o.) and made me learned from them. I just get zapped back to reality, after my recent experiences with so many wedding parties and other random parties at the club with different friends. It was all the break and fun I needed, but I mustn't carried away.

Mom came today and rang the bell out loud. She reminded me about stuff that I knew, but forgotten for I am thinking way too much, meeting and listening to too many people who don't know me so well. Sometimes we need others to help us elaborate each of our problems and see it from the larger picture. I need people around me to do so to manage it and--in time--solve all one-by-one.

God has His own time and it sometimes don't get along with our plans. But God knows the best and we must only believe in Him. Don't try to run when God wants you to stop. Now God wants me to stop and I need to just follow His instruction. If not, you're just ruining your life and not even going anywhere cuz God don't allow us to. When He say "yes", then it must be easy to flow with. If it's still a "no" then we should only be patient.

This may not be "my time". But I need to use this time to sow as much as possible, so when God say "yes, go ahead!" I can harvest what I have sowed. Result takes time and we must be patient to wait for things to grow. Success doesn't come in an instant, but God will give us everything that we need just in the right moment, for He knows what and when is best for us.

Lita and Rachelle were also there when I needed to talk--I always need to talk--and helped reminding me of who and where I am. It's surely nice to have people who care and love you, like here I have people who helped me gain my reason and strength back. Thanks from the bottom of my heart... I love you all, ladies! :*

Rachelle asked me if I wanna join her on the upcoming event about this young millionaire, Merry Riana, so I googled about her and found out that she's becoming very rich at the age of 26. I hope the talk show on Oct 27th in Plaza Senayan, 2-4 p.m. will bring much inspiration to me as this is what I need the most right now.

Last night I met with one of my exs and a friend of another ex. Apparently both of my exs are getting married next year. I am not sad or upset about it all, but it turns out I'm not the one who's gonna be married first (I mean I am a girl and they are all the same age with me.. girls are usually get married sooner than the guys of the same age). I'm not really surprised with this either, had predicted this for quite a long time.

So, the ex who met me the other night made me questioned life, once again. It's just that there are so many people who offer me so much luxury but all that I did was refusing them. My ex said he's now building a house, preparing a business and planning a great wedding. They were all seemed impossible when I was him and now he achieved it all without me.

Not that I want him back. Not that I want all the luxury. It just made me rethink about what I really want. About what I'm doing now. About my own life. And I got nothing--I don't even have a permanent place to stay. I'm all lost and too confused now I need to retreat a bit from the picture. Gosh, I am lost!

As what the picture above is trying to say, I am happy with my social and personal life, but not with my love life and financial status. There are something that I need to repair and I don't know how. It's like that I know what I want but not have enough guts to make it happen. As if I'm rocking on a boat in the middle of big sea in which I can see the land I wanna be on but dunno how to get there for not having any oars and hadn't find anything to row the boat with.

Perhaps we should go back to the basic lesson about hope and faith. Perhaps I'm just losing my faith a little bit. I need to regain it soon to fix things in my life, but things are just too confusing sometimes. I need something to hold on to and haven't found anything yet. It's sucks to be in this position actually, but I'm trying hard to act cool here. This is just wrong--I need to regain my faith and get back on track. But, how?
God please save me!

Around 9 p.m. we hang out at Starbucks to meet Cheryl and a new friend Andreas there. Andreas was my schoolmate in junior high so basically we are not new friends. It's quite funny how life works. Many old acquaintances are showing up again in my life lately, surprising me how people do change in years and someone who was no one can become someone.


Later on Cheryl, Andreas and me continued to Burger King Sarinah and my high school friend, Stephanus, joined the party. So the four of us carried on to Barcode Kemang and had a great time till around 3 a.m. Both of Andreas and Stephanus are new "old" friends to me that came from a very different backgrounds. So funny that we can hang out together, but it's all good for sure :)

During my silent moments in Bandung the last 4 days, I found that I got no one showing up and I thought, I was lonely! So I phoned my best friend and talked but after a while I realized that she now has her own world with a cute baby girl and a husband to take care. I remembered my other friend who just got married earlier this month and tried to call her once, but she, too, has now her own world and is busy in it.

It really hit me that my girl friends are gone one-by-one, leaving only the younger and the workaholics and I'm neither both. I know this is the consequence I have to face since I'm holding too tight to my idealism, but I just can't let it loose. I can't lower my standards and be like what anyone else say I need to be.

I believe God have prepared something beautiful for me in the end, but sometimes, it's just too hard. Sometimes I fall and desperate, too. I limit it only for an hour max; I don't need any more negative energy in my life. But sometimes, I'm just lonely. I do. And I'm hating that. Oh I wish somebody would rescue me from this loneliness and boredom cuz I'm getting tired with it :(

I am now in Bandung for my health recovery for I've had this cough since last week. I went to Bandung on Saturday morning with my aunt and when she was going back to Jakarta on Monday, I collapsed and so here I am now. Anyway, an old school mate was coming by and visited me on my sick day; he told me things I didn't know about one of my ex.

This ex, he used to say that I was fat and I needed to lose weight and do more exercise. He also was so grumpy about every teeny weeny little bit he made me so stressed the whole time we were together. Eventually, I couldn't stand it no more--I couldn't imagine a life full of sighing and tears like that and I just had to stop it right there. So we broke up.

Little do I know about his present life and his current girlfriend. But due to what I just heard, he has now a fat grumpy girlfriend! I was kinda surprised when I heard about this, because due to what I saw in facebook, it doesn't show that way. I was amazed at how those two qualities were being mentioned in the short news.

Then I was thinking, how pathetic that kind of life is, where you failed to appreciate those who were in your life until you lose them for good and now have to live with the "second best". That is totally awful to me, if you are always comparing and complaining. Indeed, people need to learn to be better in life, and they're being given the right partner in order to achieve such "better"-ness.

I think it's much much better to experience the "having all the wrong persons before meeting the right one" than to meet all the right ones first then get the least right one in the end. That's sort of a downgrade to me and it doesn't sound cool at all. Doesn't mean that I need only cool things in my life, but seriously, this is pathetic!

Maybe my ex needs someone as grumpy as his current girlfriend to balance his grumpy character. It's so sad that he didn't learn to manage his anger earlier with his first girlfriends. In the end, he ends up comparing his current one to the ones who had gone, like what he did when he compared me to his ex before me. Gosh it's tiring to be compared with and tiring to hear all of the complaining!

Like in the image I put above, anger can only bring you down. Also, when you don't know how to feel (and show) gratitude and just accept things the way it is, you'll end up having nothing in your hand because God will definitely take back His blessings. Gosh, this sounds so scary!

I had never thought about my ex this way. I was so taken aback and immediately feel sorry about him; about his anger problem, about his non-gratitude behavior, about his complaining stuff, etc that I had tried to warn him before (and failed). I also feel sorry that behind his beautiful surface lies such an ugly character. It really shows when you find your lifetime partner--I just realized this--your true soul reflects on the people who stay around you.

In the other hand, I'm so thankful that I'm no longer with him now, even though people say that he is the one who loves me the most. Life (and marriage) don't rely on love alone anyway. There are other important things that makes a relationship works, and definitely not to compare your partner with another, or to let your anger controls over everything else all the time. Who'd want to be with you that way?

Now, the next time you're about to let your anger loose, please think about the whole consequences you might face in the future, will you?

Gosh, you can't believe how happy I am on what I just found. It's Martine series, the books I grew up with by Gilbert Delahaye. It's about a young girl named Martine (It's Tini in Indonesia, Debbie in USA but originally is Martine--in France) who has a dog Patapouf (it's Pupi in Indonesian) and cat Moustache (Mimi in Indonesian.) She lives with her older brother Jean (Yan), younger brother Alain and both parents. She is experiencing a happy childhood and those illustrations carved deep in my heart even until years later.

I love the 50's drawings of Marcel Marlier all over the books and all my childhood I was dreaming about a life like hers to be mine. Here are some of the illustration of the books I had that I got from the web. J'adore ces livres!

If you ever get cough, please do notice that there is one great Chinese cough syrup such as this one. Don't bother the name, your should try how it tastes! It has a black cherry flavour and it surely is good for cough. I'm having this now for my terrible coughing problem. I hope I'd be better soon cuz it's tiring to get awake now and then during sleep. iWish!!

Anyway life's been so extremely great to me. I just came back from Senayan City to buy some stuff for a friend and accidentally "found" this super cool furniture store at the top level: KARE and got madly excited about it. This shop is just sick I wanted to scream myself out there but surely I couldn't so I told my sister about it and brought home the free catalog to get hyped together with her. I fall in love with all the things here. This store rocks big time!

I just finished reading Emily the Strange's The Lost Days and get strangely excited about it. I'm wondering how many Indonesian read the book. I mean, come on, seriously, this book shoulda arrive into my world since my adolescent years, like 13 years ago when I was 13 years old. I'm just feeling rather too old to read it now but then again it's all okay since I just had Gaiman's Dangerous Alphabet recently, so ya perhaps this counts better. I strangely love this book so much!

Anyway my aunt told me not too much into this kinda book (read: dark/edgy ones) to keep me from getting strange myself. Breaking news: I am strange already. Like, I've been strange all my life, if anyone ever know. It's just that it's disguised perfectly from the outside no one knows I've been mental all this time. LOL. Well maybe all 'half-bloods' are like me, or maybe not. It's just so hard for me to live normally like anyone else here while I am torn between three different bloods. Tormenting yet quite fun, actually.

By the way, I'm missing Mr. Patrick Willem--another 'half-blood'--so badly I can't wait to meet him soon cuz so far, he's the best living pensieve I've ever met all my life (read: he's my best friend.) He's like the only person who understands all my 'strange' language and it works vice versa. Unfortunately, he's living in Bandung and we don't talk much on the messenger. Fortunately, things are going for a change quite soon. I'm desperately praying and looking forward to that ;)

One more gorgeous things are these unbranded glasses Mom bought for me and my siblings. Got them all from some store in Bandung, these geeky wayfarer-y spectacles are flat for normal eyes and how can I not love the glasses' cases? They're kind of LV-ish but what I care the most is the fact that it's from a hard case it won't damage the glasses inside even if I put it in my messy bag. This is just perfect for my geeky look.


And the sunglasses are mentally hype! Love it to the max (since I don't longer have one, damaged all previous my sunglasses due to recklessness--and how I love the skulls graphic on both sides!) Aren't Mom's the coolest mother or what? She just knows the trend. And just the best Mom ever. I'm just so damn blessed ;)

I just came home from another glamorous wedding tonight. It's Astarra Daenuwy and Anastasya and I attended the party with Mom and Clemy. It was held in Darmawangsa Hotel at 7 p.m. It was such a beautiful decoration and a very huge wedding party. Everyone there invited are rich and important people, I could tell by how they're dressed up and by the way they move. Even Prabowo, Agum Gumelar and other people from government were there. While people were partying, my sister and I are having fun with the yummy food and camera.


And just among those beautifully dressed people, I was thinking if I ever gonna have a wedding like this, but I failed to imagine that and sticking to my dream wed to be as simple as it can be. Nevertheless, if I am a daughter to such important person like Anastasya is, this kind of wedding is definitely a must. For the glamorous level, this one was beautiful and simply sweet. But then again, this isn't me and where I belong, so I had fun just to sip a bit of it.

No one can stop my affection to books, dunno why. My excitement just doubled up whenever I see a good book and able to buy it. Yesterday I went to PIM and visited Periplus. I just couldn't resist the temptation to bring these two home, tho there were still others I eliminated. By the love to Neil Gaiman and Emily the Strange, I am ready to be drown in these soon!

I'm soo happy today for we (my sister and I) went to ITC Kuningan to shop around and found many stuff we love after 5 hours. I'll just share them here then.