Another Victoria's Secrets

By the way, I have moved to Bali now. My rent place is at Kuta, but I am currently staying over at Mom's friend's house at Renon, Denpasar. It is such a great beginning of my new life and I am totally excited about it! Will post more later.

Click here for more info.

This is my last night in Bandung because I'll be gone by tomorrow morning to Jakarta by car, then go to Bali by plane at 2 p.m. It really is too shocking, even for myself. But the opportunity came and I just have to grab it before it's gone, so I packed up my stuff and prepared my heart and said goodbye to my friends in town.

Last Saturday I went to Sapulidi to say goodbye to Patrick and his crews at midnight after went for dinner with my aunts (Auntie Ning and Auntie Ellen) and Mom. In the bar were also Marinno, Rony, Ndi, Chesza, Checa, Rian, Pritty, Djati and others. I stayed for about an hour, then headed to Sobbers to see my girls Cheryl and Agatha who were already there.

I didn't really enjoy the atmosphere in there; first because of the music--different DJ was playing that night, and because there weren't the usual people we met there. I stayed there till around 4 a.m., surviving just because of the two dearest girls were around, then went back to Sapulidi where I felt much more comfortable at.


So we ended up singing along together to Andri's guitar play until it was 6 a.m. and each had a glass wine for Patrick's last day working there. It was really nice, the togetherness we had--so simple yet so close with each other. Such a different life I had been having with my girls for the last two months; all too crowded, noisy, hedonist kind of life.

Maybe it was because Patrick was there that I enjoyed so much the last moments there.. we stayed till it was 7 a.m. before I went back home to sleep. I've always love his companion and the conversation we had. It's just the time has come for me to go. Too pity that we are going the different paths because I had always feel that we'd make a perfect couple together.

But God may say the other way, then so be it. I'll just go with the flow.

Few days ago (19 Feb) I went to Bali by myself. It was the most spontaneous and instant trip I've ever had, thanks to the interview I was having on Monday. So I travelled to Jakarta by Cipaganti and arrived at the airport by midday. My flight was supposed to be on 2.05 p.m. but delayed to 2.30 p.m. so I arrived in Bali at around 5 p.m. local time.

Mom's friend, Tante Siska, fetched me up and drove me to Discovery Mall to see sunset, but after waiting for almost an hour it seemed that the sky was cloudy, so we headed to Jl. Padma Utara to check in at the Amaris Hotel. A moment after that, Mom had arrived at airport and we were meeting up at Plengkung Resto at Jl. Raya Kuta.


The next day, Tante Siska fetched us and drove us all the way to Ubud and back. We had lunch at Naughty Nuri's and headed back to Petitenget area for sightseeing. At 5 p.m. I was dropped at Bali Bakery for the interview.. which happened to extended into a very interesting chat with the boss' wife for 2.5 hours.

Mom and I got about an hour to get showered and picked up by Oom Irwin and Susan. We walked thru small alley and appeared in Niksoma Hotel, only to pass by to Blue Ocean, a beach front restaurant. It was really a nice pizza dinner I had, and such a fun but tiring long day, so we headed back to the hotel and had some rest.

On my third day, Tante Siska drove us again around Sunset Road, Glogor Carik, Pemogan, Gunung Sapotan and Kuta area to find me a place to stay. We had lunch at Belando (Betawi-Belanda-Manado) restaurant at Batu Belig area. It was such a tiring day on the road, but thank God we found a nice clean place at Jl. Kubu Anyar just before 5 p.m.


Tante Siska dropped us near Jl. Pantai Kuta so we walked to the beach and I spent about 1.5 hours sitting on the warm sand waiting for sunset once again. A girl called and asked me to join her, so we sat together and found out that she (Sary) was from Palembang and on a solo vacation there. I should've that kind of trip myself if Mom didn't change her flight and joined me instead.

Last day in Bali, we went for a little shopping for my new room's needs. We went to the house to put the stuff, then headed to airport for my 6 p.m. flight. Mom was continuing her vacation to Ubud to visit Tante Elvira, so I came back alone and arrived in Jakarta at 6.40 p.m.

Danni fetched me up and we went to Senayan City for my 8.30 p.m. travel to Bandung. We still got about 30 minutes to go, so we had dinner at 7Eleven before I got to go. It was another 2.5 hours of trip so I was way too exhausted when I reached Bandung a moment before midnight. Thank God, Andrew was able to pick me up and drove me home.

It was such a fantastic journey I had!


By the way I went to Soreang today to make a motorcycle driving license. I asked direction to Noven and he offered his company, so I fetched him and we explored the area together. It was such a shame that I didn't pass the practical test, tho I was one of the only two who passed the theory test. Anyway, we went back to the town and found it was raining hard and flooded a little here and there.

I dropped Noven back to where he parked his car and headed back to my area but I was starving so bad that I decided to have a late lunch at Buah Batu area. I remembered Richard is staying (and working) around there so I called him and he said he'd accompany me. So we went to Lotek Jl. Macan and had a simple farewell lunch.

It is amazing how God is taking care of me. He had prepared all those people to help me out for the past five days, from Tante Siska, Danni, Andrew, Noven and Richard. They were all beyond my expectations, that I was all prepared to do everything solo. But God had other plans on me, and His are always much better than we human can think about. Praise the Lord for He is so good!

Have you ever hold a snake? I just did yesterday.

I was out for lunch with my brother and Mom at Cabe Rawit Dago, where Andri was supposed to meet Cheryl for some job interview. I also had my cousin Hizkia came to the café, so we were there for about 4 hours.

At 5 p.m. Ben dropped us home because he was going out again by car, but Mom stopped at Tante Otty's house to chat with her, and out of the plan, I waved at our neighbor's on the way home and had their youngest child ran to me and hugged me as I got off the car.


So I walked to their house and greet the rest of the family, who invited me over to have some chat at their backyard. They first introduced me to the seven snakes they got, not included the super big one (with diameter is bigger than my thighs) named Chivas that was inside of the house.

All the eight pairs were named randomly, from Chivas-Baileys, some Russian name like Nikita (and I forgot the male one), Kiclik and Kucluk, and the smallest ones were Slamet and Surti. I guess this is the fun part of having children at home. You gotta stay creative and entertaining.


The three kids were playing around with the scooter rider and halloween mask while the parents poured me the 'green tea' of the husband's mix of Bailey's, Tia Maria, Bols green peppermint, milk and Grey Goose (damn it was good!) while discussing Astrology and Psychology. I am surely so lucky to have such a kind and fun neighbor like they are ;)

I went shopping with Mom the other day at Istana Plaza and got this gorgeous batik Aladdin-like skirt/pants and two pairs of flat shoes. I am just so excited about this because my life is going to change into something better. Something great for sure!

I wasn't planning to celebrate the lovey dovey day actually, but turned out it went alright. Cheryl stayed over at my place the night before, so at about 3 p.m. I drove her home, and met Pompink in Hartwood. We had some chat till it was around 6 p.m. about things we missed out the last couple of months.

Cheryl said she was going to Grand Panghegar Hotel for some music show, so I headed to the hotel and met Agatha and her older brother Ajie there while waiting for Cheryl to come. We were introduced to their cousin, Harris, a guitarist who were gonna play in the show, but we had to wait for hours for it.

We got bored before Harris was even inside of the ballroom, and headed to Camden instead. We had late dinner and had Andrew came by. Later, a friend of Ryan 'Iyank' who were with the bikers group, Firman, came too and made the night merrier for us. It was a fun thing to spend a Valentine's night without a couple. I had it even better with my best friends!

Tho I hadn't celebrate this for the last two years, it's still nice to get the spirit of love fulfilling our days.

I was instantly interested when I first hear about the retreat. Some of my family went to the First Retreat (Retret Awal) last October but I didn't go. This time, I was the first who wanted to come, reminded that I have hurt inside from previous relationship, wanting it to be healed and be free once again. So there I was, together with Mom, Aunt Dewi and Oma, headed to Puncak by 9 a.m. on Thursday.

We stopped at Lembah Ilalang for lunch, and reached the destination by 2 p.m. Not so many people were there already and we had about three hours of free time so we visited the bookstore, walked around the complex, and rested at our rooms at St. Antonius house. The opening mass started at 5.30 p.m. and the program continued in tight schedule from then.

I met two old friends, one was Sylvia from high school, and the other was Anne from my junior high. I also made new friends such as Susan from Samarinda, Inge from Bandung, Evelyn from Jakarta (she was just 16 years old) and siblings Evan and Regina from Tangerang. There weren't too many young people, most of them were men and women of age 30+.


Not too much time to make friends either, since the point was for self-reconciliation, we were forced to seek deep inside our hearts and minds and memories about the pain we got since the moment we were in our mother's womb, to give all in to Jesus and let Him heal it for us. This is believed to be one of the ways to rebuild the broken connection between us and God or with friends and family.

To follow the retreat, one must take the First Retreat first, then the others are also available for public: Soul Healing Retreat (Penyembuhan Luka Batin, the one I followed), Conquering Weaknesses Retreat (Mengatasi Kelemahan), Seven Blessing Retreat (Tujuh Karunia),  Catholic Meditation Retreat, and so on. Schedules can be checked here.

I would say that this is the best treatment one can get for the salvation of its soul. There are no need to go to shrinks or to doctors for mind and body disease, as long as there is faith, anything is possible for God. And, I think this world will be much a better place if everyone follows each of the retreat at Lembah Karmel. You should come for sure!

I went to a retreat last weekend and went back to Bandung today, so I just have time for some postings tonight. I was sick last Tuesday, the fever was high and I had an almost 12 hours of hibernation, but I got better on Wednesday afternoon, so I departed to eX by taxi and got there at 7 p.m.

I met Winnie at the restroom and we went together to the concert area. It was not too crowded when I went inside at around 7.30 p.m. and met Agatha there. There was also Patrick, to my surprise, with his step-sister, her boyfriend and the boyfriend's sister. We hung out together for some time, right on time for Bag Raiders at 7.40 p.m. (They were GREAT, by the way!)

Cheryl came a little late at around 9 p.m., still got about an hour before Röyksopp, so we went around, met Ratu Rebecka (her friend who is often mistaken for me or vice versa) and Dada with his friend Lukman, and Adi, Bendot, Dewa and others.

I didn't stay too long there, I missed Erol Alkan who played last. At 11.20 p.m. right after Röyksopp, I took a taxi to go home. It was such a tiring day for me, especially that I was not completely feeling well. I got home by 12 a.m. But I didn't regret it at all--I loved it so much, thank God I could go! :)

I just had a chat with an old friend who happens to remain a good friend to me for the last 6-7 years now. It confirmed that I would likely to end up marrying a friend, someone I'm feeling most comfortable with. I am just a fool in front of new people, especially those whose faces I like. I can be more like myself when I get to know people better, therefore they became a friend.

I do have a lot of guy friends, tho. But none of them are on my list for a future husband. Oh, I got one name, actually, but he refused me so it brought me back to zero on my list. Well, still no hope for love life for now so I'll just concentrate on other things... like giving consultation to my aunt.

So she's depressed now because of the divorce and the condition of her family, so I tried my best to be all ears and gave her some inputs in the end. Of all the things I've been thru, it happened that I've experienced much more heartbreaks and sufferings than she had, and all of the lessons were what I shared with her today.

We all do fall in and out of love. It is all human and it is all fair. God works in such an amazing yet mysterious way that we human can never keep up with His plan. But we can try to think Godly, in order to make our miserable lives feel at least bearable. When we think humanly, we are trapped in the box where everything else seems like dead-ends.

When we think Godly, we are forced to go out of the box and see things from the outside, analyzing each of our problems from the eyes of third party who has the best view of all. We use our logics more here, being objective on seeing the larger picture. Once we understand how God plan works on, we are for sure heading to a happier state of mind.

People comes and goes in our lives and keeping one who aren't meant to be with us is such a self-destruction thing to do. A quote I spotted today in twitter said that we "can not lose what you never had, can not keep what is not yours, can not hold on to something that does not want to stay"--which are true.

Sometimes our feeling overruled our brain, causing us so much trouble in 'feeling' that we own certain people and refusing ourselves to believe in the fact that they are actually never ours. We hold on too much on the feelings when they are not real and it is such a foolish thing to do.

But me as a Piscean and my aunt as a Cancer, we are the slaves of love. I can not blame my aunt for being so weak toward her feelings, but I myself had learned that it isn't the thing that can keep us going on. God, family, friends and job are the ones. Love comes and goes, broken all the same (to quote The Magic Number's song).

I had been a fool myself, but stuff happened and I survived and I am simply stronger now and not gonna come back to where I started. Things are going to be much harder and complicated for me now, for I don't fall in love way too easily like before, but I know God will keep me alive by granting me family and friends who love me so much. I will survive, and I know, love will, too ;)

Here is the song I've been listening to over and over again since last night. I hope you don't get bored with this..

No, I didn't really experienced it. I just dreamt about it but it felt just so real. Last night, I went to sleep at about 3.30 a.m. after Ryan and Tio dropped me home from Beer Garden Kemang (and super late supper at KFC). I dunno how but I dreamt about my own death. I can not be too specific nor chronologically since this was a dream. I try my best to retell it here.

So there was my gravestone made of beautiful dark marble that was carved exquisitely. I saw my sister visited it with her friend, but my soul was already going another way, together with my late father and my late uncle Gerald (Daddy's oldest brother.) I was feeling so serene, and things were very white and shiny at the moment.

I couldn't really recall what happened there, but I remember clearly how peaceful I was then. I could see another friend of my brother's was coming and encountered with me--which is weird since I was dead by the time. I can't remember anything else from the dream, because it went on to another scene with my latest ex in it.

I was wondering if I was thinking about my father earlier before I slept last night, but couldn't remember anything about it. About my ex, I guess it was because I met a cute guy at Beer Garden whose eyes reminded me of my ex's when he stared at me. I think it went on with my subconscious mind so my ex appeared in my dream instead.

Anyway, they said dream about death could mean a 'rebirth' to the person, some kind of 'new life' that is beginning, a sign that a phase of life is just passed thru and a new one is ready to be entered. This blog tells that dreams of death can mean transition, loss and change (but can also be related to some guilt). I guess it's kinda related with what I was told earlier.

Well, I really do hope it's a good thing that I was dead in my dream last night. I really do hope for some changes in my life, and I hope it will turn out for something good. I hope the things I'd been working on for the last 4-5 months will finally bring out some good results. I hope my dreams can really come true soon ;)

Check these newcomers on my playlist!

1. Smoking Popes - Need You Around

2. Thom Yorke - Hearing Damage

3. Röyksopp - Remind Me

4. Rock Kills Kid - I Turn My Camera On

5. Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa ft. Bruno Mars - Young Wild & Free

Oh, maybe I think maybe I don't
Maybe I will maybe I won't
Find my way this time
I hear you're calling me soon

One of these days
Some of these days, and somebody pays
It happens all the time
I'll be leaving, believing you wanted me to

And maybe I'm a fool for walking in line
And maybe I should've tried to leave this time
I'm an honest mistake that you made
Did you mean to?
Did you mean?
Oh, did you mean?

Love is just a game
Broken all the same
And I will get over you
Love is just a lie
Happens all the time
Swear I know this much is true

Oh, and they coloured you up
They coloured you down, they coloured you in
And I've been waiting so long
To take you home

And maybe I think, maybe I don't
Maybe I will, maybe I won't
Find my way tonight
But I hear you're calling me soon

And maybe I'm a fool for walking in line
And maybe I should have tried to leave this time
I'm an honest mistake that you made
Did you mean to?
Did you mean?
Oh, did you mean?

Love is just a game
Broken all the same
And I will get over you
Love is just a lie
Happens all the time
Swear I know this much is true

And maybe I'm a fool for walking in line
And maybe I should've tried to leave this time
I'm an honest mistake that you made
Did you mean to?
Did you mean?
Oh, did you mean?

Love is just a game
Broken all the same
And I will get over you
Love is just a lie
Happens all the time
Swear I know this much is true


Got the title and singer of this song last night from Ryan 'Iyank' and googled it. Love this!

I really am not an expert in making first connection with strangers. For the last couple of weeks in Jakarta, Cheryl and I had been in various new places with various new friends, but all I can do is talking with someone I already knew, or had been introduced earlier. I am very very poor in getting into a stranger, which is what I need the most in getting more guys on my friend list.

Last night we went to Beer Garden Kemang. Four girls were me, Cheryl, Agatha and Tika--and four guys of Ryan (my Binus schoolmate), Tio, Adhe and Hanif. Anggi, their friend, came after but only for a while. The eight of us were chatting and laughing but still, we need to find guys who aren't in our friend zone. There were some cute ones, but then again, I am so not an expert in talking with strangers. What a shame that I missed those guys just like that! LOL.


We went to Blowfish the night before by the way. I was with my aunt and cousin, while Cheryl was with Agatha and their friends. It was my first time there (I love the interior designs!) and met some new guys there (surely they are friends of my girls). Only, this time the guy is 8 years YOUNGER than me! God please just kill me! LOL.

Well there aren't too much to say these days. My life is kinda boring while waiting for the stuff I prepare for June/July. I am currently supervising the renovation of my aunt's house and gonna stay here in South Jakarta for a while until the project is done. South Jakarta is like the best area I love in Indonesia, in the 'city' category.

I am still in search of my prince charming on the white horse--which is near to impossible to get now, but I'm taking things easily, knowing that he'll come anyway. I think a person like me will likely to end up marrying a best friend, not some random people I barely know, because I feel comfortable most with those whom I knew for some time. Well, my friends told me to have fun so that's what I am doing lately. Having fun with my girls and friends.. :)

Oh how forgetful I am! It is my schoolmate's wedding day today and I missed it. I was just totally forgot!  However, Garth's master skill on web designing is truly shown here on the website. I love everything about this invitation (except that I was forgetting it) maybe I'll have this kind of invitation myself for my wedding one day. One day. LOL.