Another Victoria's Secrets

 
Last week was kind of crazy for me. I got a new Editor in Chief at work, got my aunt and her friends came to Bali (which isn't really that crazy but I had to manage one thing or two for their business here), and got my first event coverage task going on. So the Viral Fest Asia 2016 was held in Bali and I got this job to do together with my colleague from Jakarta, Aldio. While the group from Jakarta stayed in Bali Paragon Hotel for 3 nights, I had to go back and forth for two days all the way from Denpasar to Jimbaran.

one of the Thai artists I interviewed: the talented 18-year old Jannine Weigel

Aldio, Bang Rizki, Sheilla, Bara, Prisca, Bang Rizal, Alex, Zia, Anda, Levi and me

The first day of the session was Rise of Asia Forum which was held in Golden Tulip Bay View Hotel. I brought my motorbike and had Aldio rode it (and I was on the back) to go to GWK instead, to interview some of the artists. We had to wait for a while but when the other Indonesian press came we made new friends there while having our lunch at Bebek Bengil. The interview stuff finished at around 4 p.m. and we continued on tour around the GWK statue before we go back.

cool entrance setting

new friends, Indonesian press

The next day (I didn't get a passage for gala dinner that night so I went home) we started late and I got to the hotel at 4, after accompanying my new friends, the Global TV press, shopping for souvenirs. Anyway we all went to GWK at 6 p.m. and the event was about to start. I wrote the whole story at Brilio.net and the photos of the event there too. Still, I got some more here that I want to show off. So, enjoy these:

the colourful & shiny stage

me with Suran, Korean singer/songwriter

food truck

our dinner: pork noodle

JW from Hong Kong

the red carpet backdrop

Noh Salleh from Malaysia--I love his indie-folk songs!

 

press among the audiences

The concert finished at 12 a.m. and the EDM party continued till 2 a.m. But we decided call it a day and loaded a bus to get us to the hotel. Funny enough, the driver took us to the 24-h souvenir shop instead. It took us another hour to go back and forth from Jimbaran-Tuban-Jimbaran-Denpasar and I could finally get home at 2:30 a.m. It was so tiring, but I'm glad that I could make so many new friends now. This is what I like about working in the media (;


The vlog above is made by my friend Adit Comma who apparently also came to the gig. I was there on minute 5:08!

via squarespace

Life is full of changes. For a moment, you are a sweet, naïve girl brokenhearted by a dickhead and 6 years later you are transformed into a fierce, strong woman standing up for your rights and voice. "Life is such an absurd journey," as I quoted from a schoolmate's travel blog title. Nobody knows what the next 5 minutes of one's will bring and neither do I.

6 years ago, in 2010, I had my heart broken badly by the boyfriend I loved so much. I thought what we had was serious and special, only that I found out about him cheating on me with more than 3 girls in 8 months. Well, that sucks. But that could be the whole life-changing experience one should have in order to be stronger. We all have this jerk in our lives. Someone whom we trust the most, who later turned up become the biggest betrayer behind our backs.

The whole disgrace he gave me had made me feel deeply broken, unwanted, humiliated, and scattered. But I chose to stand up tall and developed myself into being an extremely independent woman who is living her dream life in Bali by herself, building the world around her as she wanted it. I guess I've become a completely different person than who I was 6 years ago, crying for the guy who didn't love me back as I did to him.

via springtide

But you know how all the story goes. Villains would reign for a while, but the good guy wins eventually. Affairs might break someone's heart, but karma knows how to work its way best. So the girl who told me that she had been sleeping with my ex during my relationship with him had the chance to date him for the past year now. Some of my friends told me they even planned to get married next year and few months ago they seemed to be the happiest couple in the world, according to what I heard. I didn't mind, tho. I was way over him by then.

However, about a week ago, he reappeared in my life. My 'dickhead ex' contacted me only days after I heard from another friend that he just broke up with that girl. Rumors said that it was the debt stuff that made them broke up, but he confirmed to me that karma had just knocked on his door. Apparently everything that he did to me before now happened to him. All the pain, shock and humiliation from the collapsed dream is now on his side. He even told me a few times: Karma is real.

via majasdiary

I don't know how to react to this actually. If this happened few years back when I still had a vengeance toward him, I would cheer up and dancing triumphantly on this. But now that I don't longer have any feeling toward him, I feel pity. So for me it's kind of adding another burden for having someone relying their hope on me. I feel a responsibility to help him get up again, because I know how suck it is to be in that position and somehow he was special to me at some point in my life. But it doesn't mean that I want him back. Not after the damage he did to me, not after what I have become of now.

Well I guess this is a good lesson for all cheaters, that eventually you'll be in the position where you can't do nothing but regret. And it's not a good feeling to have, especially to feel both brokenhearted and regretting an old mistake. Guess karma really knows how to serve people just how they deserve it, so we better get our action right in the eyes of human and God--because Karma sees everything.

It should be another ordinary vacation day in Bali for me, but something in the air says something else. From the mesmerizing sunset to the colourful twilight sky that I just witnessed on the beach, I know there should be something special about the day. But my whole day already went on like any regular day... until it was dinner time.

"Excuse me," a man softly touches the back of my lower left arm. I glance at him with a plate full of the dish I picked from the food counter on my left hand. My right hand is grabbing the utensils from a smaller counter. I stare at him for two seconds, waiting for the reason of why he provoked me.

"Deidre," he looks relieved when I look back. But it's not my name he just called. I stare at him for a longer bit. There is something in his eyes that sends me a shiver. A strange warm sensation that makes me shiver.

"I'm sorry, wrong person," I smile, both to cover the awkwardness and to get rid of the strange vibration that I'm feeling. I walk away from him, heading to an empty table that I've aimed before he interrupted me.

"I'm sorry. It's just that you look so much like her..." he insists, catching up with my pace. I turn around, trying to be polite.

"Your... wife?" I have a guess. He nods. So he has a wife already.

"Was," he adds. Now I feel a bit of sympathy.

"Oh. I'm sorry about that," I respond spontaneously.

"Don't worry. It was a long time ago," he shakes his head and makes an expression that I shouldn't feel sorry about it. "Anyway, can I sit with you?"

This is a first time a stranger would ask to sit with me. I pause for a while to think of the consequences, but my head nods much quickly than my brain could even process the thought. He follows me to my target seat.

"It's so nice to see you again... um, I mean, it's nice to see you," he starts. I smile at him, not knowing what to say. It is nice to see him, to have him sit with me and stuff, but to tell him all about this is way too early. I guess.

"Aren't you eating?" I ask instead. I spoon a bit of my quinoa and stir-fried spinach into my mouth.

"Yeah," he responds, glancing at the food counter that is full with a bunch of people queuing. "After the group's done."

I follow his glance and nod. "Oh, okay."

For the next ten minutes we are involved in a delightful conversation. He excuses himself to grab food from the counter and when he comes back we talk briefly about our backgrounds, origin countries, interests and hobbies, which then leads to our life principles and dreams. I feel like I've known this person for a long time, but clearly I haven't met him before few moments ago.

"I'd really like to marry you," he finally said, as if he has been holding the words from coming out of his mouth for the past hour, after we finished our meals and just ordered a second round of drinks.

"That's a very odd thing to say at a first meeting," I try to neutralize the situation.

"I've said it every time I met you before," now his words make me confused. "And it had always been working."

"Every single time?" I provoke him, getting along with whatever his game is about.

"Well, no. Not all the time. The last time was 200 years ago, and I've lost you three times in the following incarnations," he says that with bright hazelnut eyes, looking deep into my soul. Maybe he knows I'm scared now. Maybe he can sense my insecurity. I feel his stare becomes more intense, as if he is looking for something inside of my heart.

"You.. lost me three times?" I repeat, trying to understand but still playing his game.

"Yes. I didn't look for you fast enough that I had to see you marry other men. Now looking at your bare fingers, I take it that I'm not late now."

I look at my empty ring finger. There isn't any hint of a ring ever stay long enough to make a mark there. I pull my hands to my lap, under the table, and make my right hand covering the left one.

"But you are," I whisper slowly. He doesn't seem to hear that.

"It's really hurt to lose you and have to wait for another incarnation to find you again," he says this as if he is saying the truth. As if his game is real.

"So I had been your wife--wait, 200 years ago?" he nods.

"And for so many times before. We've been together in every of your lives since the very beginning until I failed three lives ago," he says this with an affection in both his words and eyes which makes me feel so calm. "But the punishment days are over. We can be together again now."

"And why should we be punished?" I still don't get what conversation I am in.

"Another woman appeared and I made a mistake. A highly costed mistake that I have to pay off for nearly 200 years now," his gaze ponders. On his eyes I see pain, love, and yearn mix altogether. How strange it is that all I want to do is to hold him tight, calm his nerves and tell him that I'm here now and everything's gonna be alright. But I hold the feeling and try to divert the urge.

"And you didn't marry anyone else in the past 200 years?"

"I did when I knew I lost you the first time. And it just costed me another lives to bear without you. That's why I've been single for the past 120 years," he answered. I feel like I'm talking to an Edward Cullen. Or Connor MacLeod character in Highlander played by Christopher Lambert. What is he? "It's just different if not with you."

"Why should I trust you?" I really don't know what to think now. His words are all every woman wants to hear about. And I feel the peacefulness I haven't feel all my life, until now.

"You don't have to trust me. You just have to trust your feeling," he answers. "What's inside your heart?"

"I do believe you," I told him truthfully. Then slowly and unwillingly I continued, "But I just got married and this is my honeymoon I'm having in Bali. My newlywed husband is now in the jewelry store, fixing the diamond that fell off from my wedding ring. I am sorry."

"Oh," is all that he says. "Imbroglio."

"What is that?"

"A complicated situation," he smiles as he says this.

"What happens now?" I ask, fearful of hearing the answer.

"I'll wait until your next incarnation."

"No other way to fix this?"

"Dear, I've tried so many ways before and each mistake just brought me farther from you. Apparently the punishment is not over yet. We have to pay this off. From my experience, forcing anything won't do any good. We have to accept this and let the Universe work in its own way. If we're not meant to be together in this life, we wait for the next one. Don't you worry now. It's still not our time. But it will be, soon. The first time I found you married to someone else, you've had two kids already. Now I found you just newlywed. So our next meeting will be before any wedding."

I look at him, bizarrely hurt yet consoled at the same time.

"Until our next meeting," he says as he kisses the back of my right hand. I repeat his words in a whisper.

"By the way, your dinner is on me," he smiles at me, blinks an eye and turns back to disappear among the crowding customers around the food counter.

I am not sure what to feel now. It feels like losing a big lottery that I just won for only five minutes. A brief moment of possessing something so valuable that makes the loss feels even heavier. It feels like falling off a ride that had just started. A fleeting excitement that ends with a painful landing on the solid, rocky earth. And what scares me the most is, how to face my newlywed husband--a person whom I'm married to for the next coming years but had never makes me feel anything close to the feeling I got with the person whom I just had dinner with; the person I might never see again in this life, whose name I don't even know--whose identity I'm not certain of. If this life is a punishment for our love as he said, then I guess I can't wait until my next life.


~

via squarespace

I've met so many different kids along June as I taught the 6-12 year-olds in the summer program at My After School Club and had friends and family coming to Bali with their kids. I had close interaction with them, much closer than I've been in the past 15 years, since my younger siblings and cousins whom I used to babysit have all grown up now.

The first thing I noticed was that I'm still that good dealing with kids (not babies or toddlers--only kids) no matter how long I haven't deal with them. The second thing I noticed was that kids are shaped by their parents' teaching at home, way before school days start. The values that parents plant in their children's minds in the early years will help develop the kids' character to the next 20-50 years. That is how important

A 5.5-year old boy I met was so bossy to everyone around because of being treated like a little prince at his luxurious home. While a 5-year old girl can get along very well with older kids, being smart and self-responsible. An 8-year old boy can be so mature, caring and responsible as he has younger siblings and has a very disciplined father. A kid the same age of 8 can also be so annoying, selfish, narcissistic and like to play victim/blame others as he is raised by a single working mom (who is clearly doesn't have enough time to pay enough attention to the kid.)

Those are the examples I saw at the school club. As my friends and family visit me with their kids, I can see closer how different parenting styles can be, no matter the same life principles I share with them. Being a parent is a whole different thing. As the oldest daughter/granddaughter in my family, I've helped my mom and aunts babysit and nurture their kids. More or less I've learned parenting since my childhood that I still carry with me until now. Every time I meet a kid, I treat them the same way as my parents did to me.

Another thing that I noticed these days was how people tend to see children as "cute young people" while I see them as human beings with a potential to become great adults if nurtured with good knowledge and conscience. I treat kids as I treat other people according to their situation--which is related with not only age but also the brain development, IQ and EQ levels, and their interests of life.

Maybe that's why I don't easily get swooned or drooled by their cuteness. I'm more likely to treat them as a buddy; a friend--because that's how my mom treats me and because that's what everybody in this world need the most: a friend. And a good friend knows when to teach/show good examples to the other, be fun, be protective, or simply be a playmate.

Sadly, not all parents have enough knowledge of the good/ideal parenting even though they are capable to produce as many kids they want. In the Catholic premarital courses, for example (I take Catholic as the only one I know), the religion values are highlighted to be the basic of Catholic marriage, but they don't mention about the parenting theories. I got the day-course about children psychology before I started teaching to prepare the teachers to deal with kids according to their age in the most proper way. This is initial, because teachers are the representation of parents at school. But I guess there aren't parenting class ever given to prepare parents to deal with kids.

I had another experience with that, as my peers are mostly parents now. We had this discussion about parenting at a chat group with dozens of my schoolmates and some of them really don't have a clue about educating their children. They know how to take care and nurture them, but not educating them. No wonder there are a lot of the young generations who don't have a clue about morals, norms, values or principles these days.

My mom always said that children are the young humans that God trusted the parents to take care of them, but children are really God's. Parents are actually the child's guidance in this world, but not to own the kid, as everything in this world really belongs to the Almighty God. Therefore parents should take full responsibility of their children's health, welfare, and character building.

I know some of you will say that I won't know because I don't have a kid myself. Well, I started those stuff much earlier than most of them. And some of them say that if I had a kid, I'd know how hard it is to be a parent. Ha-of course I know how hard it is. That's one of the basic reason why I don't want to have a kid. It's much more than giving birth. It's about the unconditional love, life commitment and responsibility. Maybe they are the ones who didn't know how hard it was or what to do with them before the kid actually appeared in their lives. Hey, I got it all prepared, yo! I'm avoiding it because I know I don't want to deal with those stuff.

Some people say I'd be a good parent. Yea, that could be true. But still, I don't have to prove anyone anything. And being a parent doesn't always have to give birth to one. A dream I have since I was a kid is to give love to the children who need affection. There are already so many children who are abandoned, lacking of attention, or abused. It will be much better to give them the love they deserve than to add another kid in this world just because we had to.

And if people say it's much easier to say than do, I agree. That's why I think that people need to fully understand how to be a good parent and the best way to prepare and educate them to be wonderful people before they plan to have kids. I guess that's all I got to say now. I wish more parents are aware of their parenting style and the effect for their kids. (;