Another Victoria's Secrets

the sea view from Anantara Uluwatu Resort

party people down there

My vlogger friend Adit Comma asked me to join him to Hard Rock FM Bali's 17th birthday celebration last week and I did. We came there at around 5 p.m. and enjoyed the party until 8 p.m. It was so hot we all got sweaty because there was no breeze. But it's a great thing that Adit is vlogging that I don't have to write much here. Check his vlog here:

via benebellwen blog

How wrong can one be to be read with Tarot cards? I know most religions forbid anything doing with foreseeing but I've been familiar with sixth sense people around me since I was a kid so I can't see Tarot reading as a sin. And as a Pisces, I have huge curiosity for such magick. But what makes Tarot reading so fearful to some (or most) people?

I guess the answer comes to: it might shock people out to death of something that isn't even true (because Tarot is built by the things around us--including our own thoughts and fears). I experienced it myself last week. Of all the Tarot readings and foreseeing stuff I've had, the one I had that night turned out to be the worst of all. I didn't plan to be read though, but I came anyway to Ingka Restaurant, where my friends came to be read. I got carried away listening to them reporting and discussing results, and so I thought, why not?

I just needed a few first minutes on my session to get perplexed. I didn't expect my reading would be that horrible though. Everything that I've feared in life was there on the cards and she (the Tarot reader) read it to me: I'd have a baby. For a moment I was stunned, as millions of my thoughts came swirling on my head and she said she could feel the battle inside me--it drained her energy as well.

As many people already know now, I don't want to have kids. Don't get me wrong; it's not that I hate them--I simply don't want to have my own: to carry them for 9 months, to give birth, to have to care and nurture them--and to have the responsibility, the unbreakable bond, the emotions and all those stuff till the end of my life. Meanwhile we can always divorce, parent-child bond is for ever. It sounds so scary to me. And I don't even have a yearning to hold a baby in my arms every time I watch movies about babies or bump into friends who have one.

I called my Mom to ask for some comfort. She knows better about these stuff anyway--and she knows best her daughter. My Mom asked me lightly: what's so scary about having kids? I really dunno which one is the scariest--but everything about it is scary for me. I've been carrying this idea for almost my whole life now. Not only that I fear that (1) my body would change with the pregnancy, (2) the pain of labor, (3) the first few years of sleepless nights and restless days, (4) the responsibility for nurturing and educating them right.. and mostly, (5) to have that new status as a mother (that eternal bond between mother and child is just unbearable for me).

While it's every other women's dream, it doesn't work that way for me. I guess I found the answer just few years back, as someone told me that I was male in my past incarnations. Perhaps that's why giving birth sounds so scary to me. I know by then, God must have something in mind for making me born female in this life. It could be something to do with being a mother, but I guess not. The idea is still awfully scary for me. You must think that I'm exaggerating stuff here, but each person has their own demons. This one's my demon.

As years went by I tried to calm it. I tried to ignore it and shove it under the bed. But the monster would get out sooner or later and we're left with no choice but to fight it. One just have to make peace with it for them be free from the haunting feeling. I guess this is the time for me to conquer it. Perhaps I've been denying it (the motherhood) all my life. I also know that the more I fear it, the more it would likely to come true. It really is a mind game, I thought. I slept that night trying to calm my nerves, thinking that I could somehow try to surrender.

But the horror continued the next day. Earlier that morning I woke up horrified, although I didn't dream of anything scary. I felt that morning that I didn't recognize myself--or at least the future life that the Tarot reader told me of. I felt so strange, so distant, so foreign. I went back to sleep out of exhaustion, and when I woke up again I almost scream. The dream wasn't even an awful one--it was just a casual walk along Denpasar roads. But I felt terrified nonetheless.

I directly called my Mom again, sobbing hard and shaking, reporting to her my fear. This time, she took my agony seriously. I guess this was the first time that she thinks my fear of having child is real. After a while she told me: "God will never give child to those who cannot bear it. You will not have a child, my daughter." I was suddenly calmed. But apparently my mind was not.

Later that day I went to see a friend who has this sixth sense kind of thing. I've known him for four years now and trust him enough for spiritual things. He explained to me, which brought huge relief to me: that my soul was rebelling to the words of what that Tarot reader told me. My soul was protesting to the things that aren't "me". And of my fear he said: my soul is refusing to be reborn and feels an agony of being reborn. I did feel this when I was a child: I saw and feel enough to think that there is no way that I would ever want to repeat any childhood and adolescence phases again. Not as myself, not as a parent. I don't have sixth sense whatsoever but being a sensitive Pisces I know exactly when I don't want certain things in my life, even when I don't know why.

And he repeated the words my mother said that morning: God will not give me a child if I don't want it. It took me a long moment to trust him this time, suspicious that it was just the words he said to comfort me; but then again his words was similar to my Mom's. I chose to believe it; no longer as denial but as my soul's true calling. This time, I know exactly the reasons I don't want children is not as shallow/simply as refusing the idea of being a mother but it's a thing that's been inside of me my whole life--probably my true calling (but I keep most of the details of this for myself) and gradually I could feel peace entering myself once again. I guess it's the best feeling to have; to completely understand the reasons of why we are being us. Well you might not understand my thoughts for this particular case tho.

At this point it came to me that it's not that I'm so afraid of being given a child. I guess if I really had to, I'd be a wonderful parent and nurture my child the best way possible. I know, the pain of pregnancy lasts only 9 months and the nurturing part will be hardest for the first ten years. But it's not being afraid of becoming a parent. I simply don't want to. Every single cell of me refuses the idea, not because of the responsibility that comes with it, but the idea of repeating life again that is unbearable to me. It is the idea of another reincarnation that I can't take. For a person who feels it all, it's just too much for me to endure. My friend says there's only one in a million person could feel/think the way I do. I watch millions of movies about babies and new families and enjoyed all of it. I just never see or feel myself as the parent in that movie (perhaps I was more likely the director or script writer). I never long to have a child.

Meanwhile the explanation of why the Tarot reader told me stuff (now that I replayed the scene in my head, a bit slower and detailed this time), was because one of the cards I picked contained a picture of a pregnant woman (which could have both literal and metaphoric meanings--and the question to this card was "would there be another guy in the future for me?") Two cards later, I casually asked for children in my future and she pointed the already-opened-card with pregnant woman instead of asking me to open another card. "Obviously," she said. My mind instantly connected all the dots and combined them with all of my lifetime experiences, memories, and fears, along with my recent thoughts--the result was quite horrible for my own imagination. I guess this is why some religions strictly ban Tarot readings (read here for what to expect from Tarot readings).

For some time I thought it was such a bad idea for me to have the Tarot reading that night--but then again it resulted a bigger answer of which I haven't been searching for but have been inside of me for a long time (just like Tarot, life . Maybe that Tarot cards played the role as a way for me to acknowledge myself and my soul better. But if you don't have people to ask for second, third, fourth opinions: don't even try to have any Tarot reading session!

via Pinterest

www.balihacks.com

Do you have a company, brand or portfolio? If you want to keep up with the globalization, you have to publish them online. The most common thing to do is to create your own website, and it's not as hard as it sounds. Actually it's so easy that you don't need to hire anyone to do it, just DIY!
(as this post would mostly serve Indonesian, I'll continue write this in Indonesian)

Saya punya beberapa blog dan website yang saya kelola sendiri. Blog ini, contohnya, sudah aktif sejak November 2, 2005 (hey, it just celebrated its 11th anniversary!)--dan meskipun saya sempat mengalami kendala dan harus memindahkan kontennya dari "Victoria's Secrets" ke "Another Victoria's Secrets" (juga kadang terlalu sibuk untuk menulis sampai berminggu-minggu) saya akan terus mempertahankan blog ini "for the love of writing".

Blog saya yang lain di antaranya Kumpulan Puisi (of which I've stopped posting for a while for lacking of inspiration) dan Pélopé Shop (the ideal product shop I'm pending for lacking of money and time now). Sementara itu saya juga punya dua website: tentang buku/tulisan saya yang diterbitkan, dan yang terbaru tentang asemua hal yang perlu kamu tahu untuk survive hidup di Bali.

Web saya yang terakhir, #balihacks, adalah web yang paling membuat saya senang dan bersemangat dalam meng-update nya. Selain karena saya jadi punya wadah khusus untuk membagikan informasi yang selama empat tahun terakhir saya kumpulkan tentang Bali, saya juga puas dengan tampilannya yang bersih--dan terutama karena nama yang saya pilih belum terpakai orang lain.

Kedua website saya, saya operasikan dari hosting yang berbeda (satu dari Wix.com dan satunya dengan blogger.com). Tapi saya mendaftarkan domain keduanya di domainesia.com. Dari semua provider domain, saya melihat harga di DomaiNesia paling murah, pendaftaran cepat dan mudah, dan terutama mudah dalam pengaplikasian ke web host saya. Bahkan saya, yang bukan seorang IT developer, tidak perlu bantuan siapapun untuk menyambungkan alamat domain ke web hosting saya!


CARA MEMBUAT WEBSITE



To make my post is even more resourceful, saya akan bantu menuliskan step-by-step tutorials cara membuat website sendiri. Untuk hal ini, saya pilihkan cara yang paling murah. Cek cara membuat website mudah di bawah ini:


1.
Tentukan hosting web yang kamu inginkan. Silakan cari hosting murah Indonesia pilihanmu. Saya menyarankan www.blogger.com karena saya sudah punya akun Google yang bisa dan mudah dipakai untuk login ke semua app Google, mudah dalam pembuatan, pengaturan dan penambahan apapun, dan yang paling penting: gratis!

Tapi kamu juga bisa memakai wordpress, tumblr, Wix, atau blogging web lainnya sesuai seleramu.

Pic 1

2.
Buka www.blogger.com, klik tombol "Create Your Blog" warna jingga di tengah page (lihat Pic 1), lalu login dengan akun Google kamu. Kalau belum punya, klik "Sign Up" atau "Daftar". Isi semua form dengan datamu, tapi kalau masih mau diubah nanti bisa diedit lagi kok.


3.
Setelah masuk ke dashboard blogger, klik tombol "New Blog" warna abu di bagian kiri atas, di bawah profile picture-mu. Di pop-up page, pilih judul blog-mu dan tuliskan di kolom "Title", lalu ketik alamat blog yang kamu inginkan di kolom "Address". Kamu bisa mengganti nama dan alamat ini nanti kalau berubah pikiran (lihat Pic 2).

Pic 2

4.
Setelah itu, ini dia bagian favorit saya: mendekorasi website. Pilih tombol "Template" (di deretan kiri, tombol kedua dari bawah - lihat Pic 3). Saran saya, pilih "Simple" saja dulu, nanti juga bisa diubah lagi kok. Pilih Template yang kamu suka, mudah dibaca, dan kalau bisa yang responsive (artinya bisa dibuka dari desktop/laptop, ponsel atau tablet).

Pic 3

Untuk pemakai blogger, kalau tidak ada template bawaan yang kamu suka untungnya banyak desainer yang membuatkan template indah yang bisa kamu pakai secara gratis. Favorit saya: www.gooyaabitemplates.com, www.colorlib.com/wp/free-blogger-templates, www.mybloggerthemes.com, www.themexpose.com, www.btemplates.com, www.bloggertemplates20.com, www.deluxetemplates.net.

Kalau sudah ketemu template yang kamu suka, klik "Download" dan simpan di folder khusus. Kalau formatnya .zip kamu masih harus membukanya sampai ada format .xml.


5.
Masih di bagian "Template".
Kalau kamu memilih template yang sudah ada (bawaan) blogger, kamu bisa sesuaikan desainnya sesuai selera dengan meng-klik tombol "Customize" di bawah tampilan blog-mu.

Pic 4

Kalau kamu memilih template dari tempat lain, klik tombol "Back Up/Restore" di bagian pojok kanan atas. Di pop-up page, klik tombol "Browse..." warna putih, dan pilih template yang sudah kamu download sebelumnya (dengan format .xml). Lalu klik tombol "Upload" warna jingga di bawahnya (lihat Pic 4).


6.
Klik pilihan "Layout" di bagian kiri (di atas "Template"). Tampilan Layout ini bisa berbeda-beda sesuai dengan jenis Template yang kamu pilih, terutama kalau kamu memilih Template dari luar blogger (lihat Pic 5).

Buka semua Gadget yang ada dengan meng-klik tombol "Edit", lalu pelajari bagaimana tampilan blog-mu berubah dengan meng-klik tombol "Preview" di bagian kanan atas. Kalau sudah suka, klik tombol "Save arrangement" warna jingga di bagian kanan atas.

Kamu bisa mengubah isi, urutan, bahkan menambah dan mengurangi Gadget dengan mengklik tombol "Add a Gadget" di setiap kolom.

Pic 5

7.
Kalau sudah siap menulis, klik bagian "Post" di bagian kiri (kedua dari atas), lalu klik tombol "New Post" warna jingga di atasnya.


8.
Kalau kamu tidak suka alamat blog-mu disertai .blogpost.com, saatnya mencari domain. Favorit saya di DomaiNesia karena murah, mudah dan cepat. Cari nama domain yang belum pernah dipakai orang (available). Kamu bisa memilih alamat yang kamu inginkan dengan mengetiknya di kolom "Cari" di tengah page (lihat Pic 6). Kamu bisa memilih domain .com, .net, .co.id, atau lainnya sesuai selera.

Pic 6

Kalau alamat yang kamu inginkan tidak tersedia, artinya sudah dipakai orang. Kalau sudah yakin dengan alamat yang kamu inginkan, klik tombol "Daftarkan domain" di sebelah alamat yang kamu inginkan (lihat Pic 7).

Pic 7

9.
Pada kolom pendaftaran, klik centang di "DNS Management" dan "Email Forwarding" (lihat Pic 8). Keduanya gratis dan akan memudahkanmu. Kamu bisa juga memilih "Privacy Protection" dengan harga tambahan yang tertera. Jangan lupa tentukan berapa tahun kamu mau membayar domain-mu.  Kalau belum yakin, bayar untuk 1 tahun saja dulu. Kalau sudah yakin dan tidak mau ribet setiap tahun, tambahkan jumlah tahun dibayarnya.
 

Pic 8

 
Kalau kamu sudah puas, lanjutkan dengan meng-klik tombol "Masukkan Troli" warna hijau di bawah.


10.
Di bagian "Troli", masukkan kode promo kalau ada (lihat Pic 9). Lanjutkan pembayaran dengan mengklik centang tulisan "Saya telah membaca, memahami, dan menyetujui Terms of Service" dan mengklik tombol "Selesaikan & Bayar" warna hijau. Selebihnya kamu bisa mengikuti arahan dari DomaiNesia.
 

Pic 9

11.
Setelah sukses membayar, kamu akan dikirimi email bukti pembayaran. Kalau sudah menerima email ini, kamu bisa lanjutkan dengan masuk ke www.blogger.com lagi. Di bagian kiri, pilih tombol "Settings" di paling bawah.

Di bagian "Publishing", klik tulisan "+ Set up a third-party URL for your blog" di bawah alamat blogmu. Masukkan Blog Address barumu (lihat Pic 10). Di bawahnya akan tertera dua alamat baru.

Pic 10

12.
Copas alamat baru ini dan masukkan satu per satu ke halaman "DNS Management" DomaiNesia di tab lain: 

Buka web DomaiNesia dan masuk ke akunmu (https://my.domainesia.com/clientarea.php) > Klik tombol "Domain" > "My Domains" di bagian atas > Pilih domain yang sudah kamu daftarkan, lalu klik tombol "Kelola Domain" warna biru (lihat Pic 11).

Pic 11

13.
Di halaman "Manage", klik tombol "Management Tools" lalu pilih "Kelola DNS". Masukkan alamat yang kamu dapatkan dari blogger.com sesuai petunjuk kolomnya: A (address) dan CNAME. Ganti "Host Name" sesuai keperluan (lihat Pic 12).

Pic 12

14.
Tunggu konfirmasi dari blogger. Biasanya perlu 1x48 jam untuk proses persetujuan alamat baru ini. Cek progress-nya di halaman "Basic Settings" blogger. Kalau belum berhasil juga, kamu bisa mengontak (email atau chat) tim DomaiNesia untuk dibantu kelancarannya.

Nah, website barumu sudah siap sekarang. Mudah kan?
Silakan eksplorasi dan berkarya ya!

via syracusenewtimes

LOL. Yea this f*cked up my brain too. But I'm curious nonetheless, to get to know myself better especially. (And you might want to grab a pen and paper to write down all the results:)

via pinimg

So I start to search on--at first--my Moon Sign. It is what influencing my emotions, my personal needs. It is what my heart goes for, my emotional instinct; my inner emotional self. I checked mine here and apparently my Moon Sign is Virgo (Virgo Moon looks to the little things in life for their happiness and security).

Meanwhile the Mercury Sign represents communication; how we reason things out and about our awareness and intellect. Surprisingly, my Mercury sign says I'm an Aries (quick thinking):

Likes intellectual competition, can easily become involved into an argument. Thinks and speaks quickly, easily grasps an idea but can be too impatient to adsorb a concept of a significant complexity. Has an aversion to long-winded explanations. Likes brevity and simplicity. This type of Mercury is very good for brainstorming. Sharp, penetrating mind that can often be used as a weapon. Likes to speak truth and criticise. Not sensitive to emotional nuances, can be quite abrasive. Quick reaction, good in extremal situations.

My Mars Sign is Scorpio (loves good challenge). Mars reflects our action and sexual energy. It is how we are driven to reach our goals. Maybe this also answers how compatible I am with my Scorpion friends. I checked my Mars Sign here or here.

Venus Sign is how we treat love and money. Perhaps it's more of a wife's department, LOL. Well maybe that's why they correlate women with Venus, because Venus is the Goddess of Love in Roman Myth. My Venus Sign is Pisces (dreamy, soft-hearted charmer). Check yours here.

Meanwhile Rising Sign is the first impression we tend to give to others on personal level (check yours here). It is how we act in front of the public, the mask we show off to other people, how the world see us. My Rising/Ascendant Sign is Taurus (steady and capable, stable and responsible):

Tranquillity, joy of life and sensuality are essential to you: you are a simple and quiet nature. You find happiness easily because you are not competitive, your relaxed attitude and your common sense invariably lead you towards fulfilment, even though you are not the number one, even though you do not move in haste. Constructing is important to you. Your patience and your persistence yield strong, steadfast, sustainable efforts that can withstand any pitfalls. You are gentle, with a slow thinking process, but once you have opted for an orientation, nothing, nor anyone, can make you change your mind. You loathe changes in general and once you have taken the few major unavoidable decisions in the course of your life, you are on track.

With this Ascendant, you come across as loyal, steadfast, strong, patient, enduring, persistent, attached, sensual, realistic, constructive, tenacious, with a strong need for security. But you may also be stubborn, rigid, possessive, materialistic, static, slow, and you may bear grudges.

via pinimg

For additions, Jupiter Sign is associated with luck and good fortune (find yours here). My Jupiter Sign is Capricorn (Jupiter in Capricorn meets good fortune when they are ethical, mature and act with integrity). Saturn Sign is the things that challenge us to grow up (find yours here). My Saturn Sign is Scorpio (impatient! LOL).

Uranus Sign represents change, innovation, technology and discovery, Neptune Sign is guiding us to our destiny, and Pluto Sign is connected to transformation and life challenges (find yours here). My Uranus Sign is Sagittarius (strong on intuition), my Neptune Sign is Capricorn (reserved and refined, especially in areas related to control, power, fame and success), and my Pluto Sign is Scorpio (ruled by strong emotions).

As for Midheaven Sign (also known as MC/Medium Coeli, or the tenth house sign), find yours here. It relates to your career, reputation and social standing; it is what guides you to your professional achievements, responsibilities and life purpose. My Midheaven Sign is Aquarius (loves learning).

via blogspot

So if I read myself based on the image above, it'll sound like this:

I am a dreamer, and stability is what makes me feel emotionally happy. But I express my needs and thoughts in a direct way. When it comes to love, I will be compassionate, but when I get angry, I become vengeful, so don't test me!

via magickmillenial

While according to the image above, my personality would sound like this:

I am a dreamer, but my emotions are rather composed. I think in a direct way, but express my energy in a brooding way. In love, I seek stability. I take on the role of the owner.

via whicdn

Another blurb here saying:

I come off as careful and cautious; My character is imaginative; and my inner soul is analytical and practical.

Wow. Now, how about yours? It's super fun to know, isn't it? I made a table to make it easier for me to check my signs here. Check it out and tell me if you want one, too!

the main gate

It's been almost two months and I didn't have time to write about this before but yes, I went to Soundrenaline 2016 this year. It was on September 3-4 at GWK and I got my 2-days ticket from a friend. I went with my vlogger friend Adit Comma on the first day and he made a vlog about that day you can watch below (I appeared there on minute 9:58 onward):


But tho I came with Adit, we went separate ways that I was watching the bands all by myself for hours. I saw Shaggydog at Louder Than Ever stage, RAN and Naif at A stage, Stars & Rabbits at the Avolution stage, and back to Maliq & D'Essentials at A stage. I met several other friends at the gig (Chika, Willy and Hans Aditya), although there were more who said they were also attending but I didn't get meet. The venue was too packed, although there were 4 different stages!

Jarwo Naif

David Naif (this shirtless act made so many girls went crazy)

I was so lucky to get this guitar pick that Jarwo Naif threw out at the end of Naif performance!

Stars & Rabbit

Kalula and Andi /rif

I couldn't afford being in the crowd too much I finally went to the Go Ahead stage below, just in time for Soundrenaline Project featuring Andi /rif, Kalula and Kikan singing. The crowd was getting crazier as Temper Trap was performing that night, but we called it a day and we (Adit and me) decided to go home as the band was starting their gig. It was the right decision, however, because my other friends who stayed till the end was stuck until 4 a.m. to get home!

Base Jam Reunion--our pop hero in the '90s

I came again the next day, just in time for Base Jam Reunion who played at the Avolution stage. I met a friend, Hans Aditya, again and we headed to see Efek Rumah Kaca performing at Go Ahead stage below. Then we headed up to Louder Than Ever stage to watch /rif, some other local bands, and then spent more time at the Go Ahead stage with Tulus, Kahitna and finally Bloc Party performing.

Efek Rumah Kaca

I didn't get to watch Simple Plan, the main guest star for the second day. I was already too tired but felt happy anyway for I met more friends there: David, Egi, Jojo, Rama, Ratu and Ical (who were actually working at the event). The whole 2-days gig was the longest music concert I've ever been (I don't remember about the 2012 Java Jazz but I guess I went only 1 day there) and also the best one because I like most of the line up (viva la '90s!). I dunno if I'd want to go to another 2-days gig it's too exhausting. But I'm so up for more live music concerts! Yay!

Wanda Hamidah and me at Kebun Bistro, Ubud

Never had I imagined that the opportunity of being a speaker at Erstwhile book launching I agreed on could grant me a new friend. Especially because that new friend happens to be the beautiful actress / politician Wanda Hamidah. I mean, I meet celebrities quite often but not all are friendly enough or even willing to be friends with just anyone, right? And the celebrity I mean here is specifically an A-lister.

As I said on my previous post, I was scheduled to pick Mbak Wanda up at the airport at 10:45 a.m. and we headed to Ubud right away. The two-hours road trip made us chat a lot and we even shared room to prepare for the 3:30 p.m. event. After the event we spent time together browsing through the festival, had dinner and some coffee at Kebun Bistro. At 9 p.m. she dropped me off at the hotel while she went on to her hotel.

During the 10-hours encounter we shared stories as she told me hers. It hits me that a person as beautiful and smart as she also suffers from pain. She also had dreams that didn't come true: to study abroad and to become a diplomat. She--just like all of us--also had moments of heartaches, feeling secluded from the world and had no money to continue with life (and she had three kids at that moment). She had to struggle between the social pressure of being a socialita and public figure with her right for happiness and freedom.

After getting divorced from her first husband, she found someone who has good looking, good manner, good job, and follows the same religion as she does. But when there's no feeling involved, all those physical things don't mean anything. Eventually she met a guy much younger than she is (10 years younger and still struggling to settle with his profession), with totally different family background, race & religions (he's a Chinese/German & was a Christian while she's an Arab/Betawi & is a Muslim), and very different kind of profession (he's a chef). But the chemistry is there. You all know where it all leads: a marriage.

I personally share the same principal with her: we believe in love. She told me that love is a blessing. To be able to feel something is already a blessing. I guess she is right. We must embrace love. I used to think too much about life, love, and marriage in particular--which perhaps keeping me from getting married. I guess I weighed my decisions too much on my unnecessarily overthinking thoughts.

Mbak Wanda told me that as long as there is love, we'll be just fine. Even if we argue everyday. Even if the marriage / togetherness would only last for five, ten years.. So be it!  It's not the numbers that counts. It is love that matters. It is better to have maybe five years full of happiness than to be married for a long time with someone so logically perfect (or according to what's good in the eye of public) but with no love.

She is now happily married to Daniel and has a cute one-year old son Kai with him. She is now doing things she likes and doesn't really care about what people say (which to me is the best kind of freedom). She is becoming a yoga instructor, taking the next step of the workout she's been doing in 15 years. She travels with Go-Jek everywhere in Jakarta and isn't ashamed to be seen riding on motorbikes while her friends are driving cars. She wears only basic make-up and dresses up the way she feels like it; she saves the budget for beauty salons for traveling around the world with her kids. She opts for practicality and she's currently living her life to the fullest!

That night I felt lucky. Not just that I had a rare opportunity to get up, close, and personal with one of Indonesia's most beautiful celebrity, but I also get to privately listen to her life story and love advice. I looked at this woman who just turned 39 last September 21 and see a strong mother of four. Her oldest is 14 years old girl and youngest just turned one (and she gave birth to them all normally without the C-section operation!!) She had been through a lot; she had her moment at the peak, down to the bottom, and made her way back up again.

I am not a person who follows gossips and I barely hear about Wanda Hamidah before last weekend. But every time I see her flawless face on my social media timeline now (we added each other's Instagram accounts) I see a tough person who is not afraid of failures because she knows she would get back up again. I see a humble woman whose smile is carved from a lot of pain. I see so much power a woman can have, because she makes her own choices and she makes the best out of it. I see in her imperfections of life which makes her even more beautiful.

Maybe that's why people say our 30s would be much better than our 20s. We learned, make decisions, make mistakes, fell down, but we get back up again and learn from our past. We forgive people and we forgive ourselves. We carry the lessons all our lives to make better decisions, be better person and go higher, and we spread kindness because we know it's the only thing that brings warmth to our hearts.


The next day, Sunday October 30th, I met with Mbak Wanda again. This time she was with her friend's family. We met for a brief moment that day because I had another event to attend in Jimbaran and she had a plane to catch to go back to Jakarta that night. But the fact that she was willing to meet me again proved that she wasn't just bluffing about being a friend to me. I feel I am so lucky to find friendship in this strong, humble woman; and I look up to her strength, wishing that when I turn 39 I'd inspire other people through my works, my belief and my love.

Thank you for the lessons and friendship, Mbak Wanda!


P.S. I had thought about writing this blog the night of our first encounter but then today as I already began writing it I saw there's a competition running at www.bloggerperempuan.com so I put this article in. Lomba blog ini diselenggarakan oleh BP Network dan disponsori oleh L’Oreal Revitalift Dermalift. Kalau mau ikut lomba juga, klik di sini.

Here are the clips of 'Erstwhile: Communion of Time' book discussion by Joseph Rio Jovian Haminoto that was held in The Elephant, Sanggingan, Bali on October 30, 2016 (story about it here). Check it out if you want to be inspired!

Wanda Hamidah, Sonia, J. Rio J. Haminoto, me, Ananda Sukarlan

I never thought I could be so lucky when Joseph Rio Jovian Haminoto, the author of historical novel Erstwhile, contacted me on Sunday last week. He asked me to be one of the speakers on his book launching on Saturday, October 29, and I said yes. I approved because of few things; I know exactly how hard launching a book could be (finding people who are willing want to moderate, talk and discuss your book); I read and really do like this book; and it's a reason for me to attend the UWRF16.

So I said yes to him, not knowing the other guest stars at that time, but happened to be the famous Indonesian master pianist Ananda Sukarlan, and--I found out just a day before the D-Day--the beautiful, smart Wanda Hamidah. After some arrangement it was decided that I had to pick up Wanda at the airport at 10:45 a.m. and we headed to Ubud rightaway.

We had lunch at Nasi Ayam Kedewatan Warung Mardika, and had a rest at the d'bulakan hotel Rio had arranged for us. At 2:15 p.m. we went to Desa Visesa to pick up Ananda Sukarlan and his partner, then went on to The Elephant for the event. The place has an extravagant view of the green Campuhan Ridge and it was already packed with people who gathered for the book launching.

Mas Chandra, Mbak Wanda and me before the session

At around 3:30 p.m., as scheduled, the program opened by Sonia, one of the curators of UWRF, and then Wanda read the synopsis. Then I talked about the book from the perspective of both a reader and the writer of Gerbang Nuswantara. After me, Ananda gave speech about the possibilities of this book from the perspective of a musician/music composer. Then some of the audiences were asked about their opinions, too.

The event was a success from my point of view. There were press attending also, and the audiences who never heard about this book said they were interested to read about the book--which is a good thing. I don't know when Metro TV would broadcast the program but I'll let you know when they do. I guess before that you all need to read this book as well.. It's highly recommended!


Check the videos here.