I can't remember if I've posted a similar thought before, but at this age--with lots of references from people's experiences and of what I've gotten through before, I would write this topic again. Sometimes I wonder how easy it is for some people to get married and stay in marriage no-matter-what. Sometimes I wish I could be that simple too, as people say I'm being too picky, thinking too hard, analyzing too much, feeling too deep.
Well I can't be them and they don't have to be like me. But here are the things I'm considering on choosing "the one"--which may either inspire you or just to get you on my mind. In general, these are the points that I would ideally seek in a person to be "the one". There might be more, but at least these are what I think most important for me:
1. You got the chemistry
They say, people can learn to love one another. I say it's partly true. Because before you can love one another you must first get the chemistry--or a push from within, whatever your term on calling it. Your energy must first be aligned and they are in the same frequency with you. I guess love comes in so many forms. People love in their own ways. I can always tell from first sight/meeting, but sometimes our opinions get clouded and we might have realized things after some time. It's okay. But you must at least have the base then work things out from there. What's not okay is when there's no chemistry involved at all. We can always try to rekindle the fading flame, too, but it would need more effort. It's important to follow your heart. If you're not sure, try to trust your gut.
2. Your signs & elements match
Some people don't believe in zodiacs, but for me it's important--tho it's not crucial. Why do I bother with such thing? I must say, the zodiacs, Chinese horoscope, and those stuff help a lot in understanding people. In relationship, it's never about you, but "us" and in order to get there, you must always give effort to please your partner--which means you must truly know your spouse. Well, the sign's traits is a way to help you here, but remember a person would have a sun sign, moon sign, rising sign, etc that would make a person can be so complicated. This is not an exact knowledge, but more as a reference (also check this out). So use it well!
3. Your virtues & interests are alike
One of the important key to keep a relationship is mutual interest/passion/hobby/activity. Anything that you can share together, spend time with, create memories with, or build something with, is worth doing. You don't have to be exactly the same persons with the same hobby/job/friends circle, but to doing fun things together can indeed increase the bond between you. Plus, you don't have to go to other people to tell your stories to. The more you do things together, the more successful your relationship will be. The same thing goes with your virtues. It's much easier to be with someone who thinks more alike you, values more or less the same things as you do, goes to the same worship house/worship the same God with you, and so on. You can still have different opinions, of course, but isn't it nicer to be with someone who is as clean-freak (or messy), as caring (or careless), or as witty (or serious) as you are?
4. You share the same goal(s)
What is your life goal(s)? Life is short, but a lifetime is certainly not. I think it's always worth it to wait for a person who share the same perspective in life. I don't agree if a marriage stops one from being themselves, or if it makes one has to sacrifice their dreams. Just because you love someone, you don't have to break your wings--or burn yourself. We must categorized goals, dreams, and wishes differently, of course. What we must keep is the most principal things for you; like how many children to have/go childless, to be a full housewife/be a working mom, etc. These things are crucial, while dreaming about living in certain area of the town is not. You must know which things you can let go and which ones you keep in life. And to have a partner who'll support you, or even better, join the struggle with you, is a gem.
5. You can communicate
And this point is the most crucial of all. You can ignore the four points above if you can at least have this, because what's the point of a relationship if you can't communicate at first place? Communication works in many levels, by the way--ranging from light to heavy topics. You have to be able to talk about your day, about political/serious matters, and most importantly, about your feelings. It's okay to talk (or speak the love language) differently, but as long as there is a way of communication, and an effort to understand each other, you'll be just fine. If you can't get your thoughts heard, or if they don't want to know what's in your mind at all, then it's not a worth relationship to be in. And to be able to communicate is a hell fun way to spend your life with a person!
I personally think finding a person who has all the points above is worth the wait. So I'm being patient here, and I hope--if you haven't met the one--you're being patient too!
*) Image via stylecaster.
