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| via cactusofmylife |
It is perfectly human to fear things. Each one of us must have that one thing we fear the most. One may fear the clown, another the dark or the height. Well I've always consider myself as a fearless person. But to me, my one biggest fear is to have children. This has been my fear since I was in junior high school, as I can recall. But this morning a stranger's message on my Facebook page asked me if I have this gamophobia.
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| via deskgram |
Maybe not precisely a gamophobia, because marriage had been one of my biggest dreams ever since I've watched Disney princesses movies. Unlike the usual symptoms, I don't really fear the commitment out of trauma or insecurity. It is the responsibility that comes with it that scares the hell out of me. And the thought of being a "mother". As the stranger described on his message: I fear it because of my perfection on the concept of life. In my mind, children is never part of my concept of a perfect life.
He also said that this symptom is common to be found on genius people, those with high IQ. Well I never assume myself as a genius, especially because I am not. I am just overly analytical, over thinking and over feeling about things. And now it all gets to me as if I need to resolve this glitch in order to get to that level of perfection.
Meanwhile I see my Gemini friends, the people known to fear commitment the most, are getting married. Two of them this month, and another next month. Those are the closest Gemini friends that I know: the people who seem to never gonna get laid because they are scared to lose their freedom. But they are taking the chances and they are making the commitment. They tie the knot.
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| via ayakbilegiprotezi |
Last week I met yet another person who told me this: "fear not." Isn't the Bible also say this for 365 times? Whatever is it to fear in a commitment (marriage) anyway? It really is a part of life and there is nothing to be feared about. Or to be more precise: "think not!" People had been telling me this, but my mind still cannot accept it. Or perhaps, in my defense, "I just haven't met the one."
Well I never thought that this is a phobia that I must deal with. But I guess one way or another, sooner or later, I need to get over this fear by jumping into it and just do it (the marriage, not the children thing, I mean). Perhaps so. Or maybe it'll come in a package. Well, let's just see shall we..
