Another Victoria's Secrets

via 16personalities

I came to this web first a few years back, I guess some time before my Bali life (2012) and found that my personality was a Campaigner or ENFP-A (the description that followed: Enthusiastic, creative and sociable free spirits, who can always find a reason to smile), but then I retook the test few weeks ago and found the result differed. My current result is the Protagonist or ENFJ-A with description that followed: "Charismatic and inspiring leaders, able to mesmerize their listeners." Still in the Diplomats area, still an Extrovert rather than an Introvert, but there are differences, still.

The old personality Campaigner's strengths are:

• Curious
• Observant
• Energetic and Enthusiastic
• Excellent Communicators
• Know How to Relax
• Very Popular and Friendly

While my new personality as Protagonist said my strengths are as follow:

• Tolerant
• Reliable  
• Charismatic
• Altruistic
• Natural Leaders

So I think I'm not too curious, energetic, nor enthusiastic now, but I've gained leadership skill and charisma over the years. No longer so-called being friendly but more tolerant and altruistic, I assume this as an upgrade and progress for my character development. I do hope so.

Then for the weaknesses, for Campaigner they are:

• Poor Practical Skills
• Find it Difficult to Focus
• Overthink Things
• Get Stressed Easily
• Highly Emotional
• Independent to a Fault

And the Protagonist weaknesses such as:

• Overly Idealistic
• Too Selfless
• Too Sensitive
• Fluctuating Self-Esteem
• Struggle to Make Tough Decisions

So again, I've gained self-esteem tho it's still fluctuating. But then again I've lost the poor skill of practicality, the overthinking, easily-stressed, and highly-emotional parts out of my system, tho the selflessness and sensitivity stay--in excessive amount. But for the sensitive part, I think I've managed to separate it from my emotion so I don't get baper ("bawa perasaan" or taking things seriously) now. And for the last point, I don't really find it tough to make a decision. I find myself just flow with the Universe and when I can't decide I just let It decide for me, a.k.a. surrendering.

That's it. I dunno if these traits gonna change in the future or stay the same, but I enjoy the process of my character development, tho I've gone past dark moments for few years. The result is satisfying for me, to find me where I am now, and I'm proud of myself for being resilient during the transformation phase. I believe you have your own phase changing from a caterpillar to a cocoon to a butterfly. And if you are still in the middle of your phase, trust me that it's all worthy.

I share my knowledge and findings through all the process in Urban & Spiritual Society, Indotarot, Mental Support Group, and Youtube. Check them out!

via iheartintelligence

I first found out the word "narcissist" just shortly before the the expression got its fame by all the selfie and social media stuff. But it referred to Narcissus, a person from Greek mythology who loved so much looking at his own reflection on the water by the river. I didn't realized then that narcissism is a personality disorder (read here), having its opposite: an empath.

So a narcissist is basically a person who has an excessive interest of themselves. An empath, on the other hand, is someone who is highly aware of the emotions of those around them, to the point of feeling those emotions themselves. An empath is a giver, a healer; and that's what a narcissist seek for. Not to be healed, but to consume the goodness out of an empath so they would feel good about themselves. The narcissist feeds on the attention given freely and abundantly by an empath.

Lately I've been learning not to put any label to myself, in order to learn to be a better person who is free from any label. But the one last thing here I wanna share before I completely turn off any labeling from my life: is the love/hate relationship between an empath and a narcissist (read the 22 stages of the relationship here).

I dated a narcissist once (realized that he was a narcissist only by the end of our dating period but I didn't even know the term 'narcissist' by then) so I've learned to avoid the kind when it comes to finding a boyfriend. But what I didn't know exist is a narcissist friend. I think this kind is more subtle, yet is so dangerous that we won't realize it until we're drained out for keeping the other person's glass full.

via facebook

I think it's important for us to first acknowledge what is a narcissist and how to recognize them. This may be hard at first because usually they give a very good first impression upon people. The only way to know it at first meeting is by the sense. If you sense any form of oddity, or any discomfort about this person, then stay away. You don't have to be friends just because they look nice or cool. Trust your gut.

But most of us don't have this alarm goes well. We tend to dismiss any ill-feeling about a person and try to look at the good side instead. Which is good. But not for the case with a narcissist. So here's how to detect narcissism in a person:

1. Superiority and entitlement
2. Exaggerated need for attention and validation
3. A grandiose sense of self-importance / personality
4. Perfectionism
5. Great need for control
6. Lack of responsibility; blaming and deflecting
7. Lack of boundaries / boundary violator
8. Lack of empathy
9. Emotional reasoning
10. Splitting (between the goods and bads, or dualism)
11. Fear
12. Anxiety
13. Shame
14. An inability to be truly vulnerable
15. An inability to communicate or work as part of a team (check here for no. 15-23)
16. A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
17. A belief that he/she is special and unique and can only be understood by (or should associate with) similar high-status people and organizations
18. A need for excessive admiration
19. A sense of entitlement or unreasonable expectation of special treatment or extreme loyalty
20. A tendency to use others for their own needs or wants
21. An unwillingness/inability to recognize and honor the needs and feelings of others
22. Proneness to envy or having a belief that they are envied by others
23. A sense of arrogance shown in behaviors and/or attitudes
24. Conversation hoarder (check here for no. 24-29)
25. Conversation interrupter
26. Rule breaker
27. Charmer  
28. False image projection
29. Negative emotion
30. An inability to be alone / by themselves; they always need others around; would act like a helpless person / damsel in distress to make people feel they need to help them (the last point here is based on my own experience)

via liveboldandbloom

They said, "Empath and narcissist are two sides of the same coin. One side demonized, the other idealized." I think this is true. We got attracted to one another because of the similarities we share: taste, interests, hobby, thoughts, and so on. Because of these mutual things, an empath would love to be friends with (or date) the narcissist, thinking that "We are so alike but he/she hasn't get there yet, but of course I can help him/her out with that. Piece of cake."

Well, nope. No, no, no. Wrong. It's in fact the opening door to a series of mental abuse that an empath would have to undergo by the narcissist. There are three ways a narcissist could destroy an empath:

1. Manipulation - to control the situation and get what they want by making the empath think they want to give it to the narcissist.
2. Guards are down - even that an empath already has his/her guard low, a narcissist would use the opportunity to gain as much as they can to get what they want.
3. Battle of ego - narcissism is really a product of ego, and an empath basically are not an egotistical person.

via Pinterest

 
Over time, a narcissist would make an empath "doubt themselves based on the manipulation of the narcissist, and they begin to feel like a victim. The victim mentality is also a product of the ego, so over time, the empath's feelings about themselves change. It's a fundamental shift in ego that can lead to depression."

I froze upon reading this, because last year I had a family problem that made me come to one friend whom I consider best friend for years, and her solution / advice truly made me feel and think like I was the victim. She made me change the way I think about my family and demanded attention from them; something that I usually give but this time I asked for a return. At one point, it became so chaotic in my family and that made me depressed. I went to a shrink, I sought for spiritual help, and ever since I got back up again and stood by myself now, I tried my best to avoid that friend who made me fall in the first place.

via thehorsewoman

But surely enough a narcissist won't let his/her easy target go just like that. She came back to me, with all-new personality and a whole new spirituality level, ensured me that she had changed to meet my new standards... and only for her to take the new life I had rebuilt from scratch, like a child taking another child's toy just because she wanted it and because she couldn't make (or afford) one herself. And from there, I looked at the list above about the traits of a narcissist and checked most of them on her.

Some people said I was a stupid for having her back for so many times, again and again, disappointments after disappointments, mistreatment after mistreatment, for the past six years. But in my defense I couldn't do anything about it. First of all, I consider myself an empath, whose weakness is to say no to people. And second of all, I needed to experience all that in order to learn. Yes, I couldn't do anything about it then, but now that I've learned, I could.


"A narcissist's worst nightmare is an educated empath" -Unknown
(via conservativememes / asscgroup)


I think an education about narcissists (or that we call as energy vampires) is one of the best things to learn for an empath. This article taught us how to deal with a narcissist, but in my case, to break up with a friend that I knew for more than 15 years now, is not an easy thing. Especially when she's currently dating my friend and coming to the same community that I go to (yeah, stupid me I introduced my new hobby/friends to her only for her to take it to be hers)

via Dr. Margaret Rutherford

But another friend ensured me that even though she thinks she has it all now, the boyfriend and the new life, she doesn't have anything (meaningful) in her life. A narcissist can only take, not give. They seize, not build. They charm people, always have to appear nice, because they need to assure people that they are worth people's time and energy and attention. They need all the eyes on them, because they don't know who they are without the spotlight. They seek for constant attention, and quickly find another when they lose one source.

They cannot be alone, they can't afford silence and stillness. They don't appreciate things and tend to take people for granted. They are the poorest kind of human being in this world that they must steal from the others. And there's no point of helping or rescuing a narcissist (even trying to do so) because they don't feel like they need the help. They don't understand that. They don't want to be rescued. They just want the attention and feed their ego from it.

my fave Princess Mononoke's quote by Studio Ghibli - via etsy

One thing that I must warn you: a narcissist is not a fool. They are, in contrary, smart people. They have skills, certain ability, some kind of beauty, classy in a way. I dealt with another narcissist last year so I can tell. These people have the similar pattern, only this time I deal with an exceptionally brilliant one that I fell into her trap multiple times, forgiving her all the time and starting it all all over again.

But I must also thank her tho, that without her I may not be so aware like I do now. She served her duty in my life to teach me lessons, to help me awaken, to make me "see with eyes unclouded by hate". Therefore, I must thank all of the narcissists I've met in this life because without them I don't get to see so clearly. But this time, I am saying no to you loud and clear without any guilt.

via Pinterest

Read about the previous days' stories here. Sorry it took me a while to write this.


Day 4

our new fave fast food outlet

grilled chicken, chicken ball satay, and sticky rice

The night market made us exhausted so the next morning we decided to start even more late. We had my bro's favourite take-away snack Five Star Chicken from Fortune Town Mall for brunch. We then took a MRT ride to Silom, continued with some BTS ride from Sala Daeng to Saphan Taksin station, which is connected to the boat harbour.

Sala Daeng station

what welcome us at the harbour

under the BTS railway

the harbour

Asiatique shuttle schedule

the yellow Icon Siam's shuttle boat by the end of the dock

we just have to pose together

 

the view around the harbour

finally, the red boat that will bring us to Asiatique

We took the free shuttle boat ride to Asiatique in the South (our left side) and within 5 minutes we were already in the pier. The outdoor riverfront "mall" has restaurants and fashion shops, along with giant ferris wheel and haunted house jet coaster. It's a relaxing place to hang out at, enjoying sunset by the Chao Phraya river, and have seafood for dinner. But we had som tum instead.

arriving at Asiatique's pier

a really nice pier, don't you think?

again, another "must" wefie

the main alley

fashion boutique shops

yet another selfie..

small amusement park here

ferris wheel behind the haunted mansion

 

the bazaar area

yup they sell chicken, pork, and crocodile meat!

there's the crocodile.. yum or yuck?

the food tents bazaar

the golden hour

...and the sun gonna set soon

I forgot to ask why they have these sack-bearer statues here

this is one of the best sunset-watching spot in Bangkok

I always love lights that hanged above the street

we had dinner at the restaurant on the right: So Far So Good

gyoza, som tum, and pork belly, complemented by rosella ice tea

We didn't stay long here. After dinner, we queued for the shuttle boat heading back to Saphan Taksin harbour, then we waited for another free shuttle boat to Icon Siam. The latter is one of the newest landmark shopping mall in the city, located at the North part from the harbour, so this time we headed to the right side.

back to the Sathorn Taksin harbour

us on the Icon Siam shuttle boat, which is newer and nicer

the Icon Siam from afar

the pier we arrived at

check out that big mall

apparently they were having a Songkran festival at the riverfront plaza

the fountains are playing music and people were gathering around it

so this is the Icon Siam

Icon Siam is a huge mall --I would compare it to Singapore's Marina Bay Sands or Jakarta's Grand Indonesia-- and it looked luxurious from the pier, mostly because of the design and lighting. And upon entering we'll know that this mall is a luxurious one. The ceiling decor looks like those we'd found at five-star hotels, and it smells so expensive too (you know those flowery fragrance you smell in those exclusive hotels).

see the ceiling decor?

 

this doesn't look like a mall - this looks like a hotel, right?

 

and the pond decor, too

Going further, it's as if we entered "a whole new world" at their ground floor. The vast area is almost three-floors high, and decorated as if we were in an old Southeastern Asian village and floating market. Shops and restaurants are made united with the whole "old world" architecture, the stalls are made as if they were hawker sellers or even on the fisherman's boats. They sell all the Thai street food there, along with crafts and souvenirs too. It really is a unique experience to have here.

a pair of big elephant statues guard a palace-like plaza

see how magical it seems?

those yellow tropical fruits that look so fresh

they even put a 'royal house' with information and images of the royal family

going up to the second floor guarded with a pair of naga

from the village houses' second floor

 

there are just so much to see!

But we couldn't stay overnight so eventually we had to take the shuttle boat back to Saphan Taksin, and take both the BTS and MRT ride back home. Tho we started pretty late today, it was a pretty exhausting day. Yet, it was fun.

me saying goodbye to the festive mall

I love this festival decor for the Songkran

one last look at the mall

now let's go home...

Day 5

my outfit with colourful floral shirt

We really started out late this day, went to Huai Khwang area by MRT for late lunch (an all-you-can-eat dim sum), but the Songkran festival was quite strong there and people, wearing colourful shirts, bring with them water guns and shooting water to just everyone on the streets, and sometimes they add talc powder on our faces too. I had one set soon after leaving my brother's apartment. My mom hated the idea and didn't want to get any splash on her.

what I love about Bangkok is to see this kind of shrine here and there

So we aborted the mission, canceled lunch there and moved on to another recommended restaurant that my brother had on the list, but it was quite a trip with MRT ride to Chatuchak area, transit to the Mo Chit BTS stations and finally arrived at Ari. Alas, the targeted restaurant was closed, so we walked to Phahon Yothin 7 Alley for another recommended restaurant, but it was also closed (we hated going on vacation on Songkran festival at this point), so we hopped into the restaurant next door that opened because it was past 3 p.m. already and we were starving.

the quiet street nearby Ari BTS station

we can't read the signage so we don't know the name of the restaurant

our lunch, another pork dish!

the best bottled drink we got so far: MAXI honey lime soda

The late lunch was okay, not fantastic somehow, but we couldn't move to another area just to find the best food so we had to deal with it. We stopped by at 7-Eleven for fresh soda drinks, then another walk to the BTS station (stopped by at La Villa to pee) back to Mo Chit, then we walked again to the Chatuchak weekend market.

La Villa Ari

Chatuchak park

The weekend market has been there for decades, and there's no way that you go to Bangkok without visiting is (or so they said). As its name, it opens only on Saturdays and Sundays, and divided into more than 20 sections. The shops and alleys are similar so I was a bit lost there. If you don't have signal/roaming package for your phone SIM card, don't get separated from your group. Or make an appointment as to reunite at certain point on certain time. That way, you can have fun exploring the market. It usually closes at 9 p.m. but --again-- due to Songkran week they closed earlier at 6 p.m.







The roads were wet because of the water gun splashing, and some people are seen totally wet head-to-toe. We tried our best to stay dry, made the best out of that only one hour we had to sweep the whole market (nope, not the whole of it, we didn't have that much time, but I liked what I saw there -- it's a different feel from the Ratchada Train Night Market and I think I like the rot fai better but Chatuchak offers other stuff so you just must visit both) and returned to the Chatuchak MRT station after 6 p.m.

took the shortcut to MRT station through the park

We went back to Phra Ram 9 area because my mom was tired, and stopped by at Grand Rama Central for dinner. We had yet another som tum menu, this time at Maderla. Then we called it a day, went home and watched my brother played his PS4 till it was sleep time.

Maderla resto on the lower ground level of the mall

our dish

my plate consisted of rice vermicelli, sliced pork, sliced grilled beef, and som tum

Day 6

I was so ready for the day -- tho we started it late

It was Sunday and we scheduled it for temple hopping day. First we had lunch at McDonald's to make it fair with KFC we had on first night (LOL) then we headed to Hua Lamphong by MRT, then carried on with online taxi to the Wat Pho Temple. Due to Songkran week, the temple was crowded with people who come to pray. Guess we chose the wrong day for this, because I lost my appetite to walk around and take pics due to the crowd and heat. Remember, it hadn't rain since my brother moved here September last year!

Hua Lamphong railway station next to MRT station

arrived in front of Wat Pho

the entrance fee is THB 200, a bottle of cold mineral water included

 

So we found a café nearby on Maha Rat Road for cold beverages, and we had coffee to restore our mood and energy. The café was a bit vintage-styled, and we stayed there till the sun wasn't too fierce. But by that time the Grand Palace, which was our next destination, was already closed for public. So if you want to visit this area, please start early. The palace is open from 8 am to 3 pm.









  


















Disappointed and exhausted, we gave up with temples and looked for a mall instead. There's another riverfront outdoor mall within walking distance here, Tha Maharaj, where we then chilled for more than 2 hours waiting for the sun to set. I had mango sorbet popsicle while mom and Ben had gelato popsicle at Stickhouse.

I chose mango, among other mouthwatering options

Chao Phraya River from the balcony

After the sun set, we moved on to Yaowarat Road, which is the China Town. My brother hadn't been there so this was his first time too. We took a cab that dropped us off in the middle of traffic in an alley, then we had some walking around the area, which displays and sells pretty much similar stuff:  pork, durian, seafood, shark fin (#@!), and fruit juice. We decided to have street food at Itsara Nuphap Road, which gave us duck noodle, some kind of lumpia (dumpling), and pork gyoza.

duck noodle soup, lumpia, gyoza, and pomegranade juice

We don't really like this area, so we went home early.


Day 7

Since my mom was sick in the morning, we stayed home until noon and had heated rice box meal from 7-Eleven for lunch. Once she was feeling better we headed back to Siam area by online taxi. First we thought of visiting Bangkok Art And Culture Center (BACC) in the junction of Phayathai Road and Rama I Road, but again we were disappointed because it was closed during the Songkran week. So we crossed the street and went to the legendary MBK Center instead.



 

I just love seeing the structures in this junction

Again disappointed, we found that MBK Center was not so different from Jakarta's Mangga Dua, so after having second lunch there (cheesy crusted pizza so similar to Pizza Hut unless that their corporate hue is green), we spent only a while in the mall (20-minutes in one shop and 10-minutes to check everything else) then went out and crossed the street --on the skywalk bridge-- to Siam Discovery.

pizza, because why not?

the only store we went in, and spent some time in it

The design-winning mall looked great, but nothing to buy there, so we moved on to the next mall, Siam Center, which we have visited on our second day. Again, not too much to see there, so we crossed the street and took a look around Siam Square. We then decided to have dinner at the Siam Paragon's food court.

you can see enthusiastic young people wearing costumes and get themselves wet everywhere in this area

dusk sky and colourful lights

still loving the structures, plus the crowd too

inside Siam Paragon

I'd guess this is Singaporean brand

our dinner -- I still think Indonesia's tofu has better taste and texture

We planned to go back to Ratchada rot fai again to buy stuff people asked us to buy for them, but turned out we were exhausted so we decided to go back home and chill. On the way home where we had to exchange transportation from BTS (Asok) to MRT (Sukhumvit), we visited Terminal 21 mall and had our final there instead. And, a quick stroll on the Soicowboy alley, the red district area, just to see what's happening there (they don't allow us to take pictures there).

the red district alley at Sukhumvit

taking pics is restricted so this is the best that I could get

In the MRT station we bumped into our friends couple, Alvin and Carmelita, whom we knew were also in Bangkok then, and had 20-minutes of catching up before we had to separate ways. Once we were back home, we spent the whole night packing so we didn't have to do it in the morning.


Day 8

The next day, we (only mom and I this time) arrived at the Don Mueang airport at 9 a.m. and departed from Bangkok at 11:25 a.m. We arrived in Jakarta's Soetta airport at around 3:30 p.m. and I had to "run" for 7p.m. meeting in Plaza Senayan that very night. That was included having second lunch in the airport and going home in BSD to get mom's car to get me to Senayan.

Lā k̀xn, Bangkok!

 
Thus, it ended my first Bangkok Trip. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna come back there because I haven't visited enough temple. But I'll go more prepared next time. Hope your trip (if you are planning to go to Bangkok) will be better than mine!