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Last night I attended one of the most absurd spiritual classes I've ever been. The community calls themselves as Paguyuban Goblok (literally means 'Society of The Idiots') and one of the class' titles is Ngaji Urip Sinau Goblok (literally translates to 'to review life, to learn to be idiots') and the one I attended last night was Kala Kula Gesang (means 'the time that I live').
Just as the intriguing titles, what we discussed in the class was extremely simple yet goes so deep and intriguing to break down our walls of ego. We reviewed life as it is, without any prejudice and illusion, which mostly blind us from the true reality. We are sometimes being too consumed by the illusion that we create and we unconsciously live in it, and refuse to step out to face the true facts of life; the reality; the life as it is.
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Mas Herwi, Mba Rurit and I |
Last night we talked more about responsibility. Not coincidentally, I met a book writer Herwiratno a day prior and we discussed about the exact same topic. Sometimes we are too consumed with our role, stuck with the romanticism, and being big headed that we feel that we are responsible of something/someone that we care too much about. The role of being a parent, of being a child, of being a leader, of being a lover, of being a giver... We sometimes get too deep into a case that we often forget the true essence of the case itself.
What should we do then?
As always, I'll start with the words 'seek within!' simply because it is the key. It's not easy, I know, since we're more accustomed to find the solution with-out. We usually try to find the way out of a problem, while what we must do instead is to look within. I know this doesn't ring a bell to some of you but to make it sound, you need to really seek inside your heart and ask yourself what's the real matter.
Herwiratno, in his third book 'Siklus Kenikmatan Misi Jiwa' and the upcoming one 'Perjanjian Antar Jiwa' shares his experience and knowledge about "being too responsible". We must agree that anything that has a 'too' in it is excessive, therefore overwhelming, will lose its true meaning/purpose and, at the end, become useless. The key is to do (and talk and think and eat and everything) just enough.
How do we know when it's enough?
You will know. Your heart/higher consciousness will tell you. Listen to it. Or before you can hear it, use a filter that Socrates had taught us thousands of years ago: is it true? is it kind? is it necessary? Then add to them: is it inspiring? is it helpful? You may add other filters, tho. It's really a matter of practice so you must apply this on your daily life first. The more you practice, the more you are good at it, the more you are used to it, and in no time it'll be not just a habit or a lifestyle, but also a character.
But I feel that I'm obliged to take care of other's well-being too!
What if they can't make it? What if they are not satisfied? What if...
Stop it. It's just your feelings. Your emotion. Your attachment. And it's an illusion that you believe and live in. The thing is, do what you need to do, what you can do, but not more than that. Just do what you do by giving your best effort, but don't worry about the outcome. At the end of the day, anything that comes and done from the heart will show and affect people in the soul level. They will feel it, if you give out from your heart.
So the key is to focus on the process of producing; of delivering. Don't worry about how others will take it, because it's not even your problem, it's theirs. Don't worry about how whether they will like you or despise you, because you don't work for praise and credit -- you work just to make things work and to give out your best without any hope or fear about the outcome.
Things happen for a reason. I guess most of us are already agree on that. But don't stop there. I need you to absorb the term: everything happens for a reason. Then you must know that there are intervention from the Universe in each event that happens in our lives. Then you must know that whatever the reason will help you to learn, grow, and rise in life. So don't resist it. Instead, face it, go through it, and grow from it!
So the relation with responsibility is: just do your portion the best you can do, and don't worry about the rest. People's reaction is their own growth process, it has nothing to do with us. The income / material result -- if money is involved -- is all about our rationing fortune. It is given as how the Universe says your worth. Don't bid or ask for more, because you don't know the measurement the Universe is using, and it is totally different than ours. Just believe, have faith, trust. And let go.
You may already experienced it yourself: that the most successful / fortunate events that happened in your life is those that are spontaneous, flexible, and were done without too much thinking. And when you enjoy doing it. It's because your thoughts/ratio/logic is keeping you from the infinite energy that can help you achieve/deliver the things you must do. So let go of your ego (of needing/feeding any emotion) and flow with the Universe.
What about helping out other people (or animal)?
Aren't we supposed to be kind and help each other?
Yes, but do it only within your capacity.
If anyone come to us asking for help, do whatever you can do to help. If the request is beyond your limitation, just give out what you can, or refuse them, and suggest them to go elsewhere. If you see something that doesn't ask anything from you but you feel like you can help, or the thought of helping out comes as a command to you, then do it. If you don't feel the urge to help, then don't. It's really as simple as that. If it's not your part to help them, the Universe will use someone else to do the task. So don't worry and just chill dealing with your own tasks.
What will happen if I don't take responsibility of other's well-being?
They will get hurt. Their world will crumble. Their ego will be broken. They will realize things that they didn't before. They will learn humility. They will face their own demons. They will know themselves. They will be conscious. They will get up. They will grow. They will change. They will be mature. They will rise. They will live up to their best potential. They will be fine.
And if you think you are responsible to take a part on their life journey, don't you think you are interfering with other's spiritual growth? Don't you think you are taking over the role of the Universe? Don't you think that you are getting on other's path toward their life fulfillment? Isn't it too proud / entitled of you? We have our own path and portion in life. Try to stick with yours.
So what is my responsibility, anyway?
Each of us human being in this world is responsible for our own life. We are responsible of living this life in the best way possible, while helping others along the way. We do what we must/can do, give out our best, and let the Universe take care of the rest. This is different than being selfish or ignorant, because being selfish is thinking of only ourselves, and ignorance is not being aware of your surrounding. But to act responsibly is to consciously acknowledge things that happened, do things that must be done from our part, and not worrying about the outcome. It is the key to a graceful life.
Let me remind you one of the most famous teachings of Mother Teresa below:
And be peaceful in your heart all the time, because you've done your part anyway.Each of us human being in this world is responsible for our own life. We are responsible of living this life in the best way possible, while helping others along the way. We do what we must/can do, give out our best, and let the Universe take care of the rest. This is different than being selfish or ignorant, because being selfish is thinking of only ourselves, and ignorance is not being aware of your surrounding. But to act responsibly is to consciously acknowledge things that happened, do things that must be done from our part, and not worrying about the outcome. It is the key to a graceful life.
Let me remind you one of the most famous teachings of Mother Teresa below:
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Rahayu,
_/|\_