For the last one year, I've been friends with a lot of musicians, especially vocalists. At first it didn't really bother me to be friends with them, but when I watch them perform and sing, and when I go karaoke-ing with them, a dead spark inside of me lit up again.

I don't remember when was the last time I could sing properly, but I remember how I failed myself on the prayer for my Dad's 40th day (of leaving us), I performed in front of the guests to sing "Dance With My Father" with my siblings but my voice was the ugliest.

I loved singing. I collected song lyrics and learned to play guitar and drum. I took the course for my singing technique. I was a vocalist in a campus band. I loved singing so much... but then it was all changed. I stopped singing. I drove away from music.

It was all began when I used to go karaoke-ing with my girl friends during my high school years. There was a singer among us and she was a bit bossy by then. When we sang, she criticized and told me that my voice was ugly.

I was an unstable teenager who was still trying to find herself. I got down, dropped my interest of singing and something inside me just died. I forgot about the singing world. I concentrated on the other fields I am better at and moved on.

I know that I shouldn't listened to my friend then, but it was all said and done. It was a little hard for me to get back to where I was, when singing was still my hobby. It was not the skill that was damaged, but my self confidence.

I learned the real thing about how "your tongue is sharper than blades". Words can really kill people. Not literally, but by the spirit, the confidence, the self-esteem one should have. This is more brutal than killing them physically, I think. Because body heals naturally, but mental needs more treatments.

I know that my friend didn't meant to kill my singing spirit years ago. She doesn't and may never know the effect of her words to me, even years after it was said. I sometimes don't realize my own fatal words, therefore I try to choose the words to come out of my mouth.

I don't usually to regret anyhing in my life, though some parts are harder than the other and there are some that I'd rather never have in life, but I do regret how I had eaten my friend's words and stopped singing. I paid so much for that, but I learned a lot and promised myself that it won't ever happen again.

I realized that little bugs like her words to me can bring us up or far down, but during my adolescent years I watched and learned and made me the strong woman I am now. Maybe I seem to be too hard on myself but I know myself and this is my life, so those who aren't in the same direction, please step off!

My words now for you: never let people tell you what or not to do, because they don't know a shit about you and it's your own life and you are the one who have full power on it. And for the other matter: choose your words wise because you'll never know how far it can effect on other people's life.

Have a great Sunday, all! May God bless us all :)