Reading those sentences above on the book reminded me on some part of my life when someone was meddling with my clothes, literally. I just realized now that it was something personal, the way of my being in this world. I knew that I was always irritated by her comments on my appearance but never realize its emotional effect on me.

I wanna share a little about this and this is a bit story about that: she was my best friend, and is still until now, and mabye is will always be until the end. But we have different world, type, taste, style in life in any matter. Her direction is more eastern while mine's more a western. 

This happened when I was in my last year in high school until 1-2 years after that. She affected me so much since I went out almost every weekend with her, 2-3 times a week. She loves me as a sister and that was why I always said 'Yes' to her, cuz I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I knew she wanted the best for me.

She wanted me to wear her kind of clothes so I could look charming in front of the guys. She wanted me to diet/exercise so I wouldn't look so fat. She wanted me to do the make up so I would appear more gorgeous. She wanted me to wear high heels to make me look slimmer. She wanted me to let my hair be, not with ponytail or any other dos. She wanted me to do this, wear that, try this, use that. All she wanted was the best for me, so I could get the attention from the boys as much as she got. So I could be as interesting and wanted as she was.

She forgot one crucial thing: I wasn't her. I'm not like her. I didn't like any of her picks for me. I didn't even want to appear 'gorgeous' in front of the guys of her type. Cuz I wasn't her and I have my own type of guys and my own definition on 'gorgeous' and my own life. 

We're in different track but she put her wagon on my railway. It just didn't and couldn't work that way, she didn't understand. The effect on me: I lost my character, my self-confident. I had a personality crisis and couldn't find my true self. I was lost. But she never knew this, I never realized why.

Up until the next year or two, I found a girl with unique style. She never hears people's comments or looks at their styles. She made her own style. And she helped me find mine. And that was when I realized why I was never so confident about my self: becuz she had been telling me what to do and what I was supposed to wear. She had been dictating me that I was no longer know what's right for myself. 

I let her dictate on my life for almost 2 years and during the moment I was sort of losing myself. I left her for a year when I felt so full up with her strong suggestions and forcing advices. I ignored her invitation to hang out and went out with new people instead. That was the worst moments of our friendship but after that we both realized in different ways; that we aren't alike.

But we learned to respect each other's opinion, taste and direction of life. She now finds herself a husband and starts building a little family with him while I still walk on this free world of singleness, perfectly happy and fully loaded with my own perspective and purpose on life.