For the six nights I am in Bandung this time, I meet friends everyday. I really made the best of my limited time and enjoying every single bit of it. Even on Sunday when I didn't go anywhere, my old good friend Andrea came to get Lita's wedding invitation. We ended up talking for another 4 hours at my living room, from nostalgia to discussing life matters.

Last night Cheryl picked me up with Raffi and we had dinner at Legoh. By 9 p.m. he had to go home with Gita, his sister, so both of Cheryl and I were dropped at Camden and we stayed there for about 4 hours till Patrick came to save the day and drove me home.

Today I got more companies at home than ever before. After Adi's visit at 3 p.m. I got Cheryl and Agatha came by and we had such fun chat and laughters, and even more with added presence of Romulus and Marino later. We were laughing loudly till 1 a.m. at my terrace and they all went home just because we ran out of beers.

But when they are all home, I now feel lonely again. This is perfectly what I hate about love: I hate being rejected and being alone when I am in love with someone. It's just so much better to feel nothing at all than to feel once again the longing and uncertainty and stuff between reality and feeling. The fact is, that I am too afraid to ask and to be rejected, and too scared to lose.

And after this, I know I'd be back closing up and pulling away, being comfortable with just myself and drown with my busy days in Jakarta, a city far far away from sentimental stuff. I guess I'm much better in that area than to play with my heart. So maybe it's best for me to get out of this city once again and just bury myself with anything I can do in Jakarta...