I just got back from Lita's house, after so long hadn't met her. I got there by 3 p.m. and we had such a quality time. We discussed mostly about our lives and love life, as they are our most favorite topics of discussion. We came into the point where I realized how much healed I am now.

Apparently my meetings with old and new friends in Bandung had helped me out on this, to be the comparison of how I was months ago. Lita said I was closing down myself and looked rather gloomy then, and looking much better and healthier now. Several other friends said about the same thing: me being healthier, no more paleness and so much alive.

I realized myself that I am so much an open person now, both to life and love. I dunno if my last job affected me on this too or not--the fact that work alone can really be stressful and what I need the most is a significant other who understands, not just a settled work and friends. In fact, I do need affection and romance and drama, too, if that I should admit.

Actually I had forgiven and forgot about my ex long time (read: months) ago, but what I didn't calculate earlier was the trauma he caused to me and my family, especially to my mother (because of certain reasons). I became someone who closed the door too early to guys who came knocking and I became too hard-headed person to friends who tried to help out.

Lita said she sees the changes in me, but I personally see the difference especially on my reaction to people around when they ask about my love life or more specifically on boys around who tried to get my attentions. I used to send them away ASAP but now I can see myself loosen up and let them try at least once to see if that can develop into something else. It doesn't work in an instant, but I can see myself progressing on that, and I'm thankful. I changed.

Tho weeks to months ago I thought I would never be cured, time did healed me. Tho how much I neglected help, I realized that I'm not that tough at all. Tho I tried to held my principals (read: pride and idealism) up high, love of God could melt them and touched my soul thru people I would never expected.

Basically, I changed. Time heals. New love cures old scars. All of those are cliché advices passed among people everyday, but are very much true as well. I knew they are true, but when you really experience them on your life, you'd know how deep and thoughtful those advices really are, despite their simpleness (for they are being said every time, every where).

One thing for sure, I know very well my capacity on loving a person, being hurt by them, forgive others, forget the past, and now being healed. Change is okay and necessary sometimes, but in the end, you'd just go back to the person you truly are in time. Changes are important for a better (but not yet known) purpose. And like Leona Lewis's song here, I'm dedicating this song to myself, and to other people out there who are struggling thru some healing. We'll all get better in time, so never lose your faith!