Another Victoria's Secrets

Today the HardWare Magazine (HWM) gave me a good news. I was chosen to try the new BlackBerry Pearl 9105 for a month and have to review it in Facebook (yeay!). I received the brand new black-and-red gradation handheld from the HWM crew and gonna start exploring now. Wish me luck to own this at the end of the month! :)

Dude, y'all just gotta check this out, it's just supercool! Wonder when our life could be as practical and compact as this.. All are made possible by Corning.

Today, after hibernating all day yesterday, I went with Clemy and Isman to Grand Indonesia to meet our cousins Anna and Andrew. We had lunch together, then swept the mall till 4 p.m. After that I cut my hair at Christopher Coiffure and had dinner with my brother.


Later at night, Lita asked me to join her and whole family watching Eagle at Blitz Megaplex. Angely got some free tickets and I filled in Oscar's place. It was a very nice "first time" to watch in Velvet room, thank God I can ever have the experience. Lol.

Big thanks to Lita, my dearest friend who always supports me no matter what :* Love you, girl!

Okay, now it's time for some local jazz, folks and blues. Check these out...

... for I am a new fan of blues :)

Friday night, I went to Galeri Nasional with Iyay to attend a blues night at Jambo droe Cafe. There we met Iyay's friends from blues community, and also Mba Indri and Krisma, some that I knew from the last blues night I attended. James, Erland and Rizal came to watch, too and made the night merrier.



Performing at stage were duo jazz-blues of DimasEkah, entertaining dancing blues of Old Paper, skillful true blues of Blues Guardians, and the talented bluesy-pop of Ginda and the White Flowers. We enjoyed the music till around 1.15 a.m. just when they ended the jam session with other blues musicians. I think I just fell in love with blues now!

These days, publishing book has been a pretty common thing to be done since many people are writing now, but going through the "major label" is as hard, standardized, and takes longer time as in music world, so why not go indie? Here are some self-publishing links worth to try. Check these out:




Happy writing and publishing now, friends!

I know this woman behind the Pesta Blogger 2010 from a friend and she runs an online newspaper which I think it's pretty good, neat and creative. Visit her web for daily news updates here.

Today I had lunch with my colleagues to Senayan City and met my schoolmate Laura who came with her baby Reina Victoria, adopting my name, lol. We had a little catch up while eating our lunch and after a while, we went back to the office to do our businesses.

After work, I went to Central Park to meet Andri and we had dinner at Burger King. We were celebrating his new job and for a week he is staying at Taman Anggrek Apartment so we can easily meet up after work.


At 9.30 p.m. we watched the movie Season of the Witch which is way better than the last movie we watched together (the Shaolin is so overrated, I say) although this movie was a little thrilling for me. But it was a fun day I had today, and great friends, too. Thank God for that :)

I walked into the room dripping in gold

Yeah dripping in gold

I walked into the room dripping in gold

Dripping in gold

A wave of heads did turn, or so I've been told

Or so I've been told

My heart broke when I saw you kept your gaze controlled

Oh I cannot solve

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?

They stare at me while I stare at you

Why can't I keep you safe as my own?

One moment I have you the next you are gone

Rehearsed steps on an empty stage

That boy's got my heart in a silver cage

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?

They stare at me while I crave you

It's true I crave you

Crave You

It's true I crave you

Let's just stop and think, before I lose face

Surely I can't fall, into a game of chase

Around his little finger, that boy has got me curled

I try to reach out, but he's in his own world

This boy's got my head tied in knots with all his games

I simply want him more because he looks the other way

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?

They stare at me while I stare at you

Why can't I keep you safe as my own?

One moment I have you the next you are gone

Rehearsed steps on an empty stage

That boy's got my heart in a silver cage

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?

They stare at me while I crave you

I am craving you 

~Katy Perry

Once you've had a taste of perfection

Like an apple hanging from a tree

I picked the ripest one

I still got the seed

You said move on 

Where do I go

I guess second best

Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you 

What you would do if

You were the one 

Who was spending the night

Oh I wish that I

Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer

In the middle of winter

Like a hard candy 

With a surprise center

How do I get better

Once I've had the best

You said there's

Tons of fish in the water

So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips

I taste your mouth

He pulled me in 

I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you 

What you would do if

You were the one 

Who was spending the night

Oh I wish that I

Was looking into...

You're the best

And yes I do regret

How I could let myself

Let you go

Now the lesson's learned

I touched it I was burned

Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you 

What you would do if

You were the one 

Who was spending the night

Oh I wish that I

Was looking into your eyes

Looking into your eyes 

Looking into your eyes

Oh won't you walk through 

And bust in the door 

And take me away

Oh no more mistakes

Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay... 

*do you read the first paragraph? I think it's so true. Comparison is inevitable when you've known the best.

I love old songs but when new singers recycled some of them, I just love them the same way. Here are lovely classic remakes in today's arrangement:









Anyone wanna recommend another cool classic recycled to me?

Last Friday, my sister and Isman fetched me after work and together we went to Citos to meet Cheryl. It was the first time I visited Citos in the last two years and not too many changes I saw. James arrived at about the same time and we chilled out at Brew & Co.

Riri, Isman's friend, joined us for a brief and at around 11.30 p.m. we went to Kemang. I met my cousins Ray and Hizkia and continued the night to Beer Garden after Cheryl and James went home. Some of Isman's friends joined us and we were there till 2 a.m.

The next day, we woke up super late and at around 2 p.m. Rachelle came over. Along with Bent and my cousins who stayed over, we had late lunch at Rice Bowl, then went by transjakarta (minus Bent) to Blok M. There, we separated with my cousins and continued with S.01 angkot to Citos.

Cheryl picked us up there and we went to Rachelle's uncle's house at Pondok Labu to attend his birthday party. At around 8 p.m. we went to Senayan City to meet my friends at Raja's. There were Alex and Stephanie, Codot and Nadya. Not long after, Yodi, George, Leo and others joined us.

We remained around Senayan (crossed over to 7eleven and incidentally met Isaac there) till around 2 a.m. and went home as soon as we could. Rachelle stayed over at my place this time and we fell asleep immediately. The whole Sunday was spent at home, working on some writing and relaxing and hibernating. My weekend was just as hilarious, thank God!

Having tattoo is such a different experience, I must admit. When I decided to mark my skin with butterfly tribal about six years ago, I did it to express my art and rebel soul. But now that I did it again for the third time in two places, I made them not just for art and rebellion, but also to mark certain stages of my life.

It needs a lot of consideration to decorate your skin and when you do, some things inside you change. You are stronger because you had bear such a serious sickness you are willing to have. You are different, because now you have image / text inked onto your skin. You are no longer the "plain" you were yesterday.

For myself, I got my first butterfly for some reasons. First, I always think my life as a butterfly, that was first an ugly worm who transformed into a cocoon and then when time comes, a beautiful butterfly after years of maturing process. I think I am now--at almost 27 years old--a prefected butterfly already.

The heart and tribal symbols are there because I am full of love and a feminine inside. Both of these represented it enough, I guess, while the purple hue is always my favorite, and to show the nobility, grace and widower. I am not a widower actually, but this can also mean solitary for I am somehow alone in this world.

My last three tattoos are my names, in different places and different style. The "Victoria" was made in ambigram form that I made inspired from the Angels and Demons book by Dan Brown. It was again made in purple with the same philosophy from the explanation above. Purple hue is just so "me".

The new "Tunggono" was written in ancient Balinese, for my love for Indonesia (especially Bali) and the ethnic richness of it (I wanted to have Sundanese ancient character for I came from Banten bloodline, but I don't really like how it appears so I looked for another ancient Indonesian character and fell in love with the Balinese.) The color was copying the bluish vein in my wrist to look in unison with my skin. 

Finally, Ratu was symbolized in the queen crown with my initial on it, to show that I have both the title of Bantenese nobility and the English blood, though the nobility didn't came from English anyway, lol. I wanted it to be made in color at first, but Odie (my tattoo artist) said it would look greater in black and grey, so I agreed. 

Many of people put random things to be inked on their skins and regretted it years later, because people change but tattoos remain. I agree with Spyder who said that a tattoo "tells people what you are and what you believe in, so there's no mistakes". I couldn't be more agree with what he said then:

There's an awesome tattoo quote that simply says, "Show me a man with a tattoo and I'll show you a man with an interesting past" I couldn't possibly love that quote more. When you first meet people, you get the basics...and the current of their life, maybe even where they're going. But when you ask about a tattoo...you start to open up the window to their past. Over the years of having each tattoo, it only grows in depth of the meaning. You can lose your most valuable posessions. Your cars, your house, even your friends and family. But your tattoos, you will only lose upon death. Your tattoos are your companions until your last day. A tattoo is a statement, not a style...and getting a tattoo is a journey, not a destination. The end of the road is not when the needle hits your skin and the ink settles beneath, thats just the climax of the story. Every tattoo had a beginning before the design was even drawn up. THOSE are the tattoos that I love. They have a beginning, a middle, and the end is yet to come. 

I have my tattoos with stories and philosophy behind them, although not the heavy ones, because I don't like to put sad memories around. A psychic friend once told me, that tattoos can affect your life and character, for him to see it from the supernatural eyes. Tattoos can define your world and you won't ever be the same again.

My tattoos are myself, they represent me and I am about to carry them my whole life. I know that my life journey is getting harder and tougher now that I've got those marked, but I know I can handle all that. I had experienced a lot and ready for more, because my life ain't stop here. It's still a long road ahead and I'm glad for who I am now and what are inked on my skin.

For the last one year, I've been friends with a lot of musicians, especially vocalists. At first it didn't really bother me to be friends with them, but when I watch them perform and sing, and when I go karaoke-ing with them, a dead spark inside of me lit up again.

I don't remember when was the last time I could sing properly, but I remember how I failed myself on the prayer for my Dad's 40th day (of leaving us), I performed in front of the guests to sing "Dance With My Father" with my siblings but my voice was the ugliest.

I loved singing. I collected song lyrics and learned to play guitar and drum. I took the course for my singing technique. I was a vocalist in a campus band. I loved singing so much... but then it was all changed. I stopped singing. I drove away from music.

It was all began when I used to go karaoke-ing with my girl friends during my high school years. There was a singer among us and she was a bit bossy by then. When we sang, she criticized and told me that my voice was ugly.

I was an unstable teenager who was still trying to find herself. I got down, dropped my interest of singing and something inside me just died. I forgot about the singing world. I concentrated on the other fields I am better at and moved on.

I know that I shouldn't listened to my friend then, but it was all said and done. It was a little hard for me to get back to where I was, when singing was still my hobby. It was not the skill that was damaged, but my self confidence.

I learned the real thing about how "your tongue is sharper than blades". Words can really kill people. Not literally, but by the spirit, the confidence, the self-esteem one should have. This is more brutal than killing them physically, I think. Because body heals naturally, but mental needs more treatments.

I know that my friend didn't meant to kill my singing spirit years ago. She doesn't and may never know the effect of her words to me, even years after it was said. I sometimes don't realize my own fatal words, therefore I try to choose the words to come out of my mouth.

I don't usually to regret anyhing in my life, though some parts are harder than the other and there are some that I'd rather never have in life, but I do regret how I had eaten my friend's words and stopped singing. I paid so much for that, but I learned a lot and promised myself that it won't ever happen again.

I realized that little bugs like her words to me can bring us up or far down, but during my adolescent years I watched and learned and made me the strong woman I am now. Maybe I seem to be too hard on myself but I know myself and this is my life, so those who aren't in the same direction, please step off!

My words now for you: never let people tell you what or not to do, because they don't know a shit about you and it's your own life and you are the one who have full power on it. And for the other matter: choose your words wise because you'll never know how far it can effect on other people's life.

Have a great Sunday, all! May God bless us all :)

I went to fX every Wednesday on February now to watch The Signals' performance. Last week, I went with Herdi and Andrew from the office and met the guys at the Dôme. We chilled till around 10 p.m. there, having met Maesa, too, who happenned to be there.

By twitter, I knew that one of my long-lost friend was there, too, so I went to Muffin House and cheer her. She was Elizabeth D.P. or known as Lisa Depe, whom I met in a Catholic youth retreat in Ngadireso on 1999. She entered the Indonesian Idol 2006 and made it to the finalist round (if I'm not mistaken.)

The next day, I met Depe again at the Goods Dept, Plaza Indonesia, after I attended an art exhibition in CG Art Space for On Heroic Stage. It was like what you call "destiny", to meet someone you lost contact with after 11 years in a metropolitan city 20 hours away from the first place you first met. It was so nice to meet her again!

Last night, I went to fX again, this time with Rachelle who is now working at my office. We came at around 7 p.m. and met Erland, then together went to fX Music to watch the bands. Maya joined us for a while and finally, the Signals played. Too bad, they didn't play "Pembalasan" which is my favorite. Lol.

I stayed till 11 p.m. there with Rachelle at Yakun Kaya Toast and James joined us and we waited for Cheryl to come. I know that I am blessed, truly and fully by God for He gave me the girls to be in my life and now, in Jakarta to accompany me. I love them so much and just can't thank Him more for this. I love my life!

Last Friday, I promised to go out with James so I fetched him and we had dinner at Warung Pasta. After that, we went to Cokelat basecamp till 11 p.m. and went to The Green, some club we would never EVER go back there again. (Long story for that silly incident. Lol.) then went to Beer Garden to meet my friends.


Yodi, Bobby, Walle, Leo, George, Spicha and a girl were already there and we chilled till around 1.30 a.m. there and then had late supper somewhere at Melawai. I had ropang and for the guys, chicken with tauco sauce. By 3 a.m., I went home.

The next morning, I woke up and fetched Andri at Puri Mall, then he drove us to Bandung. We stopped several times for breakfast and for gasoline at KM 19--the final destination was Legoh. I dropped him off at his house, then went straight away to PVJ.


I met Nalya and Aris to give them my autographed books, and met Rachelle and Cheryl for dinner at Kopi Lay. Avie and Joko joined us, and also my cousin Hizkia. We had fun and met DJ Yoas, Otto, Donny, Pilly, Iwan at Sushi Groove for Donny's birthday. After that we stopped at 9 Square for a sip before went home.


I was a little surprised to see what was going on at home. Mom had renovated some rooms and we had new larger space, but it wasn't finished yet. I stayed up late for having conversation with Mom and Hizkia. I just felt refreshed for it had been such a long time we didn't spend quality time together, especially with Hizkia.



On Sunday, we woke up late and hurried for lunch at Hummingbird with Rachelle and Cheryl. Alex joined us and after that we drove around Bandung to look for kost place for Hizkia. It was fun to have this moment together with friends, and I cherished it so much in my life.


We finally chilled at Green Cafe (not The Green in Kemang, to be noted--lol) and not long after, Maya joined us. We had dinner and stuff, but we were exhausted for the recent never-ending activities so we split up at 9 p.m. I know that this kind of moment won't last forever, so again, I memorised it.


I didn't go to work on Monday and instead, went to meet Odie at 168 Tattoo for my 2 p.m. appointment. I had my long-wanted crown on my upper back and then my Tunggono in Balinese ancient aksara on my left wrist. Then, Hizkia had his "Life Won't Wait" on his left bicep. I had Ririe and Jamie came by and it was another joy to my own.

We fetched Irma and had dinner at Legoh, where we met Cheryl that night. After that, we chilled at Ngopi Doeloe Jl. Ranggamalela. We wanted to go karaoke but apparently all were closed due to Maulid Nabi Day they are celebrating for the next day, so we ended the night and went home.

Tuesday, Hizkia and I were dropped at Cheryl's house and we went to Jakarta together by 3 p.m. After dropping Hizkia at his house, Cheryl and I had dinner at Warung Anglo, Jl. Senopati, and after some chit-chat, she drove me home. I met Joey for a brief meeting and finally ended the long weekend I had for myself.

Oh dear God, please forgive me for being super-emotional lately. I figured that I have serious issue toward full-of-shit kind of people. Perhaps there are a lot of people like this but for almost a year now I've been friends with this one particular girl who is totally full of shit and make me so sick about it.

I don't know if I'm just overreacting about her being annoying or is she really that annoying to everyone else, but today was the peak of all the cumulation of little eeny-weeny stuff she bothered me the last half a year. First, she had forced me to date her ex-boyfriend--which she dumped heartlessly to be with another guy--and then she "stalked" my life by twitter. Not that I don't want her to know my activities (because that's why I put it in public), but should she discuss every single move that I did? It felt like a psychopath to me.

I tried not to exaggerate anything about this but I think I failed with big zero on this. She annoys me wayyy too much. She always made excuses just to look cool (or in Indonesian slang called "jaim" a.k.a. jaga image) but pathetically, her excuses are always full of flaws and cracks which allow me to be cynical to her spontaneously.

I know that I've been too hard on this, my standards are too high. I follow rules and I protest when things aren't on the right track. I dislike any misappropriation and I keep my own quality (of any thing, especially on things that I do. Well, at least I tried to...) I don't know why but I think my brain is set to complain too fast for such error, especially when it is done by the person who is flawed on my eyes already.

This morning, this girl asked me unimportant stuff such as bus routes. Two days ago, she said she just had a full-day trip by busway and that she was tired so she was gonna skip our reunion meeting. But not too long after that, she said that she couldn't take a bus for she didn't know the route. As long as I can recall, I told her one too many times the routes to go to her office.

Come on, a girl just can't be that stupid, can her? By being full of excuses and lies like this, one just made his way further from trust. I got this reflection message from a friend that I forwarded to her: People who say one thing but do another thing is decreasing trust he may receive. When one is hard to be trusted on what one say, he will be hard to be trusted on other things. (Read Proverb 18:20) Can't she be just the way she is, without any excuses to cover up whatever she is trying to hide, then?

Well perhaps it all had began from her bullshits about the reason she left my friend last year. All that she said was the contrary to the fact her ex-boyfriend (who happened to be my close friend now) said. Perhaps I was being judgmental here, but in fact, the evidences said I should trust the ex-boyfriend. My instinct caught the positive aura of the guy and signalled that the girl's aura ain't right. Perhaps I was wrong. But for me, it's right.

She just sent me reflection message about living without hatred, pride, lies, etc. So maybe she thought I was being negative thinking and peace-less life. God please forgive me but (aaargh!!!) I think she didn't get the point. All I want in my friends circle are true friends, positive thinking people with pure intention for friendship and honest people. And I don't think she meets any of the quality at all. That's why I don't think she's an important person to me anymore.

As I wrote on my facebook profile, "Life is like riding in a bus and I am the driver of my own life. Those who aren't in the same direction please get off ASAP. I don't need rubbish inside of my bus." And I mean it. I collect only optimistic-minded kind of people and those who can give me mutual quality and integrity of friendship because keeping the negatives is just a waste of time and energy.

Not that I never tried to help. I am a very loyal friend, if you'd check with my best friends around, and I have more than 5 of them. It had been proven for more than 10 years now, not that I wanna boast it but I just say that I made the effort. I don't like to leave any of my friend behind and if I can, I wanna bring all of my friend go forward, on vacation, or anywhere together with me.
 
When I've tried enough, and there seems like no progress will ever appear, I save my energy and time for something better and worth more my sacrifice. When I say "I'm done", I'm done. As what Wham! sang for Last Christmas: "... to save me from tears, I give it to someone special." Friendship is not too far different from love relationship because for me, each and every friend I have is special, and I have limited time on earth I should divide into several different
 
So if you really want my friendship, please don't behave like this silly girl I talk about. Give me your sincerity, integrity and pure friendship, and I shall give you the best of my quality to you. I will put you on top on my invitation list, give you first-hand announcement about anything new and give you more opportunity you can ever get from other people (now that I work in a business magazine, I talk like a marketing officer offering cooperation. Lol.) The condition is only one: be true.