During my silent moments in Bandung the last 4 days, I found that I got no one showing up and I thought, I was lonely! So I phoned my best friend and talked but after a while I realized that she now has her own world with a cute baby girl and a husband to take care. I remembered my other friend who just got married earlier this month and tried to call her once, but she, too, has now her own world and is busy in it.

It really hit me that my girl friends are gone one-by-one, leaving only the younger and the workaholics and I'm neither both. I know this is the consequence I have to face since I'm holding too tight to my idealism, but I just can't let it loose. I can't lower my standards and be like what anyone else say I need to be.

I believe God have prepared something beautiful for me in the end, but sometimes, it's just too hard. Sometimes I fall and desperate, too. I limit it only for an hour max; I don't need any more negative energy in my life. But sometimes, I'm just lonely. I do. And I'm hating that. Oh I wish somebody would rescue me from this loneliness and boredom cuz I'm getting tired with it :(