Watched this movie, finally, with Richard (not Parker) last night. I met Richard, an old friend whom I rarely met but feel close at heart, in Ciwalk XXI theater at 8.30 p.m. and we watched the movie together.

I've read the book before watching, so I know how the story would go by heart (because the story stuck in my brain so deeply, probably because of its , but still for me it is important to watch the movie because it's bringing the story alive, with such a magnificent picture by Ang Lee.

I should say the movie is so brilliantly packed, with all the beauty and details exposed, while still following the original story minus the brutal parts. I would recommend everyone to watch this, in 3D one if possible. This is just an incredible story of journey and faith. That's how it's going on with God.

Well, here I am, back in Bandung suddenly. Mom called me on Thursday almost midnight, shouting in panic that I had to come to Bandung on Friday, no matter what, because 14th was the last day we could sign the selling contract. The thing is, my work is still not done till end of the year. But I'm resigning anyway.

So I bought the ticket on last minute, packed the most important stuff to take to Bandung, and went by Citilink airlines, arrived in Bandung on midday yesterday. Aunt Agnes and Bent fetched me, then we fetched Clemy who just came from Jakarta and went to see Mom at Cisangkuy for lunch. We went to the notary at 2.30 p.m. and signed the deal.

But the things aren't done yet. We still have some documents aren't done yet and need time to get them from the government bureaus. Then we gotta pack our stuff from the house that doesn't belong to us anymore. And the hardest part is, to find new house immediately. Everybody knows it's not that easy to find a house, because house is a personal thing and different to each person. We just can hope we can find the perfect one in our budget.

Anyway, I can say that I'm leaving my job in Bali just like that. My boss is leaving to France for two weeks and I left before he does. He said he was disappointed (of course he is) but family isn't an excuse to leave job. He said my reasons are bullshit and that I've already planned this thing. He clearly doesn't know my situation and he probably just doesn't care.

Well probably for some people, family isn't really that important. And for people who have money, they can always pay other people to do the packing up, pick whichever house on their budget, and moving-out-and-in can be so easy. For us, it's another matter. Family is important and we need to hold on to each other during life change like this one.

Deep down I keep on thinking whether I'm doing the right thing; to abandon my responsibility in Bali and left them all to Dewi by herself. But all people who know my mother say that I'm doing the right thing because we have to have priority. My mom is a very panicking and stressful person and she needs support from people who are stronger than her, and I am taking the responsibilities not just because I am the first child but also because my siblings are still in their jobs.

I know that most people see me as such an easy going person and seem like never involved in difficult situation. Probably my boss sees me as such an irresponsible person now. People will say how unprofessional assistant I am. I hate to know that people are thinking negatively toward myself. But I know God has His own plan to make me go to Bandung in such rush. I believe He got bigger and better plans for us...

Three years ago today my dearest Dad left us forever. It was a really shocking experience but we let him go and we try to understand God's plan on us. Turned out we are much stronger now, both as individuals and as family.

I went to Anna's room last night and together with Rivan each of us told our own stories about losing our loved ones. Anna lost her mother from cancer on 2003 and Rivan lost both of his parents in 2 years time. It really is true that (most of the time) we don't know what we got till it's gone.

I was really lucky because I was my daddy's little girl and Anna spent most of her time with her mother before she went for good. But for Rivan who took things from granted, I know that regret is a really heavy feeling to carry in our lives.

Thankfully I don't have to live with that burden. But for my siblings, they faced the loss with different perspective. They weren't there when he breath his last and the doctor and nurses gave up giving him pumps on his chest. But then again, it is important to know when to let go.

Letting go, is not an easy thing to do. I've been there, too. But with a strong will and persistence, nothing is impossible. In this case, letting go of someone who went for good, is important not only for their souls (so they can go on and aren't longer attached with this world) and also for our own good.

The most essential thing here is to forgive and ask for their forgiveness, so no debt are left between us and them. This sounds so easy to do, but I know for some people it takes a lot more to do. Once we let go, our steps to go forward is lighter, our hearts happier, and more blessings come to our lives.

Anyway, I was gonna talk about the past three years after my father's death. He always taught us to rely only on God, to follow His path and flow with His river. He taught us to prioritize Him above anything else, and He showed us how his faith, hope and love to God had brought the family to the point we are now.

And God is keeping His words. He promised my father He would take care of the family and He does. He proved His power and love by giving us so many more than we could ever think of. He is repaying so many times more of every single deed my father did in his life to the family and also to his soul now in Heaven.

I think this is the true purpose of life. To love and serve God by living our lives well. All good deeds we do to our neighbors are counted and it just adds so many more of our quality as a person and for our souls. At the end of the day, said Mother Teresa, is the matter between you and God. Not with anyone else in the world.

Even though my father didn't leave so many amount of money for us, the most valuable thing he left was what cannot be taken away from our hearts; faith and dignity. We learn to struggle and survive. We had been through laughter and cry, joy and pain, and we are still here, solid as a family tho we are far away apart. We know, with God on our side, there is nothing impossible. And I am glad because my father led us the way.

I am sitting down at a coffee shop now, with Lyssandre here with me. We are busy with our own laptops, as all other kiddos do in modern days. Anyway, Lyssandre went to Tulip last night and reported to me that he met my friends there, asking where I was because they thought Lyssandre and I were couple. And he said, it's weird because no one in Tulip seemed to understand me at all.

Lyssandre said I am quite a strange person of all the people he meets here in Bali. Perhaps he means that I am one of a kind. He said he feels me keeping distance with people--or maybe just with him. He mentions that he feels as if I don't want to be recognized, to be known, to be understood by people around me. It seems like no one knows me well, and I realize he is the first who analyzes me.

This guy is actually really smart. He works with autistic kids, so he knows everything about truth. Interesting, I thought, because all other people I meet here seem fake. They hide their sadness or ugliness behind the fancy dresses and make ups. It's just not really my thing, but Lyssandre said it's so weird to find them seem to not know me because I work and meet with them everyday.

I should be disappointed, actually, to know that even those who I meet most of time don't seem to know me at all. But yes, it is true that I keep distance with people. It's not that I am being so arrogant, but I just don't think it's necessary to open up and explain myself to people who just don't care. And people around me here, they mostly don't care.

Sometimes I find it funny how I let my boss thinks that I am such a hypocrite Christian girl who never goes out on weekends like what he's doing. It's not that I want to lead him wrong, but I don't think it's necessary to let boss to know about my personal life. Even when he asks, he doesn't really care anyway. He listens only for the first sentence I speak and makes his conclusions right away. No long story needed, he's bored already.

Lyssandre said, my way of casual daily clothing is like the way I try to tell people that I can be easy going too, even though I'm actually a more serious and conservative person. It's the contrary to Dewi's more bubbly personality hidden beneath her executive daily outfits. Anyway, people have their own compensation, haven't they? We all have our own place/things to run away and excel/complete in one part of our lives to fill in the lackness/emptiness in other part(s)

And also, by Lyssandre's analysis, I am such a giving person. I tend to learn about people's needs around me and give them what they need. I give compliments to my sanguine friends. I do whatever things my boss needs. I follow whatever things my friends want to do, wherever they want to go, whenever they want it. I follow and I give. Which could be good, he said, but can also be bad.

Yea, I know about it. I just don't think I can trust anyone in Bali enough to let out of myself. I keep it, hide myself behind. But now that Lyssandre mentioned it, I think I've been doing this all my life. My previous surroundings didn't let me be myself, so after tired of trying to become what they demanded me (and everyone else) to be, I just lay low; not letting myself out to just anyone, and keep things in the mainstream way on the surface.

That is, I realize now, why I have this blog. To get away from the demanding world out there and have my own sanctuary where I can put my thoughts and secrets and myself, all freely. I can be open to real human too, but I choose carefully these special people, which I think already many of them (I have many close friends, I believe). But to people outside my trusted circle, I like to remain as just another girl.

Check out my dear friend over here, this very handsome talented singer: Atif Zulkifly. He is a Malaysian flight attendant who is gifted with such beautiful voice, and I know that he deserves more attention and spotlight. I wish he can be someone big in the future, because he really is talented!

I've been correspondencing to one of my readers (yes it's you, L!), and I was saying to him:
"... maybe there will come one guy stupid enough to love and marry me..."

and he was replying:
"I wouldn't say a guy will be stupid enough to love you, but rather that he will be wise enough.. maybe you are hard to be with and complicated, after all you are a woman and women will always remain hard to be understood by men :) But even though I don't really know you, from what you are writing I think I can see that you are a really nice person and that you have enough to offer.."
I think it's such a sweet of him to say that to me, but I know that guys who are mature enough would agree with him. Before, I was always asking myself why boyfriends were walking away and guys I liked stopped pursuing me. I really thought that I wasn't interesting enough to them, perhaps not feminine or girly or needy or clingy enough to guys.

Now recently there is one man who loves me so deeply and shows me how lovable I am, how worthy I am in his eyes. It surprises me a lot how I need to appreciate and respect myself more and to value what I have better, because in his opinion, I am truly a treasure he just found. Strange enough to see myself from the eyes of someone who loves me so much, and who knows my worth (OK I'm listening to Alicia Key's A Woman's Worth now)

This man I am talking about, he surely is wise enough to love me (using my reader's words), unlike those previous boyfriends I had before. He said he is old enough to know and appreciate what he has and he is being very grateful for having me in his life now. Though maybe the time is not right, I know that this is the right guy for me--who loves me they way he does. If only he can truly be mine... because he cannot.

Well, I am not really concerning about getting married actually, but I'm not closing any door for the opportunity. But then again it's not what I am trying to talk about right now. I was gonna say, how glad I am to know that there are still men who knows their woman's worth; to be wise enough to love and marry her no-matter-what. I'm not being too picky or having too high standard on finding my Mr. Right, I'm just waiting for a guy who sees me this way. I just hope this guy will come soon. Amen.

I had never been so interested on politics until recently, when Jokowi was applying for being the Governor of Jakarta until he was elected, and now--the most hilarious thing ever happened in Indonesia's politic: the king of dangdut is applying to be the next president. Such a joke, and I love how this host interviewed him in Mata Najwa program. I wish you all understand Indonesian to laugh with me at these videos below:

Welcoming another newcomers for my playlist, here are more:

1. The Paper Kites

2. Snakadaktal

3. Ben Howard

4. Tanlines

5. I Am Kloot

If you don't really have anything to do this winter, maybe you can try doing this snow art like what this guy did, all done by the snowshoes. Beautiful, aren't they?

Of all the people I know before, all told me that people who are married because they are meant to be together. That it is destiny. It is something that had been written. It is God's will. Maktub.

Truth is, humankind is gifted to have their own will. A freewill. It is true that God is controlling our behaviour in His own way, warning us when we are going too far from His path. But then again, marriage is all about choices. Our own choices.

In Chinese belief, there are some cases where two people is truly in conflict that things are happening to keep them from uniting. That so many obstacles come along their way to be together. Something that is called 'ciong' (from what I've heard here), when God is not allowing some things to happen.

I was talking to a Balinese psychic few days ago. We talked about life, reincarnation and destiny. He said I could've been married soon if I want. It is about my choice. It could happen if I open my heart. And it's all about my choice--to open my heart or not, to point one certain guy to be my future husband.. It's all about choice.

I had never thought seriously about getting married anytime soon actually, but my age forced me to do so now. I need to think about starting a new life with a man of my choice. Someone who loves me--but it's not that easy to make someone to love me that big that makes me the only one for him that will not make him love another girl and to stay in the commitment all his life, is it?

Back again, it is a choice. To marry someone who meets all physical qualifications or to choose someone by mere feelings. I really don't know where to find, as I don't have any specific guy around at the mean time. Perhaps if a decent and intelligent, mature and good-looking Catholic man who can cook and doesn't want kids suddenly appears before me, I would just marry him right away. LOL.

After missing the Eclipse and Breaking Dawn Part 1 movies, I watched the closure with Dewi last night at Beachwalk. I've read the previous series anyway and haven't read the last part of the saga. So it was a really refreshing thing to do, especially because all of the elements, from the cast, make up, costume, soundtracks and the story are perfectly put together. I know I sound so girly and like a teenager, but I do like this saga!

This was my first trip to Bandung for the last nine months I've been staying in Bali. I went there on Wednesday, 14 November on midday by AirAsia. I met a Bandung friend, Raymondo, at the airport and apparently we were on the same flight. I arrived in Bandung at 12.40 p.m. and greeted by Mom, Clemy and Aunt Agnes who were all in Bandung for the long weekend.



We went straight to the East of Bandung to the Cimenyan district where I am registered as a citizen there. We waited for about 2 hours until we were finally called for the e-KTP making. When we were done it was already 5.30 p.m. and we went to Jl. Progo to find something to eat, stopping at Rocca to try the new place.


The next day was began with fresh air of the hill and hot coffee on our chill backyard terrace. We had lunch at Toko You for the sake of old time, and I headed to airport to fetch Lyssandre at 4.30 p.m. and brought him back home to meet all the family. After that we went to PVJ to meet with Ester-Adjie and also Nalya, chilled at Javana Bistro until night.


I was shocked by the news about the burglar at my kost place in Bali on Friday morning and made my whole day uneasy. Lyssandre and I had lunch at Three Dolphins at Cigadung and then we met Bobby "the groom-to-be", Dwi Codot and Leo Bodak at Congo, Rancakendal. It was raining so hard and the thunder came rustling that we all decided to go to my place to shelter.


Later at night we went out again, fetching Agatha at her house and had late dinner at Origin, Jl. Sumatra, and went to OJ's at Setrasari Mall. It was so much changing than the one I remembered, much more crowded and no one I knew hang out there anymore. So we moved on to next place, which was Bengawan 83, which more comfortable and feels like home. Loepie and Ruli and Leo catch up with us then.


On Saturday noon my mom, Lyssandre and I went to Tizi to have lunch together. At around 3 p.m. we went to Saung Angklung Mang Udjo and there was this 2-hours performance of angklung from Indonesia and international groups such as Thailand university and accapella group from South Europe (I can't recall which country it was now). Anyway, the performance and the whole angklung thing really made my day out of the blue.


That night Irma and Yanto came to my house, brought the pempek made by Yanto's mother. We stayed at home and talked, catch up with main things of our now very different lives. Irma is one of the most loyal friend I've had, along with Alex Samosir and Lita Susilo, those who stays by my side since more than 10 years ago. I am so blessed to have them in life.


I didn't tell anyone I was being the maid of honor for Rachelle's wedding on Sunday, and that made my mom pissed off but I went on and met the bride at her house, having people did my make-up at 9 a.m. I just met Rachelle and Cheryl that very day after 9 months, feeling extremely happy to meet my best girls again after a while.

The holy matrimony was held in St. Laurensius Church, Sukajadi, at 12.15 p.m. and we went to Sheraton for the touch up and catch up. The wedding reception was at 6 p.m., but the garden party was cancelled due to never-ending rain. It was funny because I made the bride and groom met, attending their first meeting also with Reza, who was Bobby's bestman. So I practically know most of the couple's guests, from both sides.

It was really nice to meet old friends, but things did change a lot. What's left are memories and we must go on. I never regret my decision to move to Bali, because being in Bandung depressed me. I love my friends, but I must continue with my life. So many things for me to discover and my time in Bandung was ended. I hope I wouldn't have to go back there, but to travel further on.

These pictures below are her second tranche of work, collecting lifelike zips, buttons and shoe laces to the skin of her friends to give the illusion that they are bursting at the seams. She has also painted a power plug on someone's back, a light switch on a neck, a digital display on a hand and a battery compartment on an arm. Using no digital-editing, the bizarre body-modifications are painstakingly applied using just paint, and they no doubt give passers-by a fright.
















Now what do you think about this?

I had never ever been robbed my whole life, and last week, when I was in Bandung for long weekend holiday, someone broke into my room in Bali and took away my 13" Unibody MacBook. I was very shocked, but thank God that I was surrounded with my family when the incident happened. At least I didn't face the robber(s).

So I got the news on Friday morning, around 6.30 a.m. (GMT +7) from my room owner that my window was opened and the trellis was broken. I was thinking the worst: MacBook, motorbike and DVD player should be gone by then. But the room owner confirmed that I only lose the laptop. Still, it was hard for me because all the data for 4 years was saved there without any backup.

The room owner tried to report the incident to police but was refused because they need the victim to come report. So as soon as I get back to Bali, I went to the police station and enter my report. A police came to the crime scene (which is my room) and made some investigation there. But I don't think it's a proper and standard investigation I could expect a positive result from.


So here's my room, broken into and unsecured. I tried my best to make it better for me to sleep there again last night, after spending the first night back in Bali at Anna's room. I repaired the curtain system (using black plastic to cover the glass and doubled with a piece of large purple scarf) and bought a string of 3 meters long Christmas light for my reading lamp.

I guess it will be better because I don't plan to move out for a while. My crib now is already very nice based on location, facility and price--we only need to enhance the security. Now, I wish for better laptop to replace the robbed one. Cross my fingers!

As usual, parties were held in Tulip Bar & Lounge. I came on Friday, as I promised to meet my friends there. I came at around 11 p.m., having Lyssandre already waited for an hour for me there (and he was a bit upset about me coming late) and also Nova, Estee, and the other usual party members at Tulip. But I came home earlier that night, preparing myself for the next day.

I woke up at around 9 the next morning and met Lyssandre at Sunset Point at 11 a.m., and we had a bike tour to Sanur area. We had grilled fish lunch at Mango Cafe and proceed on the walking he requires to the south along the shore line. We talked about many things and finished walking at 4 p.m., closing the work out with fresh coconut drink.

We then headed back to Kerobokan area, and I helped him with internet thing until his uncle and wife to come and we had another fish dinner together. Herve is a very nice guy who is married to Atie, a smart Balinese woman. Together they made a living in France before but now they are settling down in Bali. They made a very nice new friends to me, especially because they all speak French and I could learn faster if I hang out more with them.



I came home at 9 p.m. and made a speed make up and dress up and headed to Tulip again. This time it was to meet Raymondo, a schoolmate from Bandung who came with his two girl friends. Lyssandre came for a while, then I continued with the party till around 1 p.m., dancing to the R'n'B music with my girls.

I met Jovita, my friend since 1988, the next morning. I was waiting for her at Taco Beach where Jesse the chef is working and owning it. He gave me a slice of his cheesecake for the wait and at 11 a.m. Jovita finally came and I went to Cafe Moka for the brunch date. It was really nice to meet her, to know that she's making an effort and time to see me before going back to Jakarta.


But after meeting Jovita, I couldn't go home because the road to my crib was being asphalted. The road was blocked for the next 4 hours so I went to Lyssandre's place instead, helped him with the ticket. Not long after he was going to the beach so I went to Dewi's place, watched the Dark Shadows until Maurice came over.


We then went to Legian beach for sunset, meeting Dewi's friends G and his kids, and also Lyssandre who was at the beach. We had some coconut drink till the sun was set, and went to Sakanaya for (again) fish dinner. Dewi and I had sashimi. We went home at 9 p.m., tired but happy. I had such a great weekend with new friends and more knowledge. I really can say I have a blessed life and grateful for that.

Being in the state of falling in love, anyone would just melt to listen to this song. I heard this Kiss Me last night when having dinner with Lyssandre. Such a romantic scene, right! LOL. Check other Sheeran's music, too. His music is a little bit similar to James Morrisson. They are heart-fulfillment!

1. Ane Brun - To Let Myself Go


2. Birdy - Skinny Love


3. Sóley - Pretty Face

4. Princess Chelsea - The Cigarette Duet


5. Alpine - Villages

1. Paloma Faith - Just Be

A little bit like Lana Del Ray, but this one is less depressing I guess. Worth hearing!

2. Melanie Martinez - Toxic

Introduced by Dewi, she reminds me a lot of Stars And Rabbit. Her Lights is great and Hit The Road Jack is so fun. This little girl is one true gem polished!

3. Stars And Rabbit - Worth It

Heard this Indonesian duo the first time at Prambors' radio show last year and watched them live at Kuta two weeks ago. They are so good!

4. Lisa Hannigan - Lille

Knew her from someone special, he said Lisa reminds him a lot about me. My kind of music and my smile. I love her duet with Damien Rice (Volcano) also.

5. Rae Morris - Grow

Just found out about her today and I love her music. Not as dark as Lisa Hannigan and quirky enough to be part in my playlist. Check her out!