Lately I've been chatting with an old school fella and we've been discussing about the destiny. He believes that when there's love, one can do anything to make it come true to be with the one they really wants. I am agree, that love needs effort, too (remember that it's not bell if it doesn't ring--and so as love isn't love until it's told.) But I'm pretty certain that in this world there are other things such as Chinese horoscope, astrological zodiac, palm reading and other supernatural stuff.

I knew some people with 'extra talents' or what people say as the 'sixth sense' to know some secret stuff normal people don't. One can see the future, one can read the tarot card (it's learnable, but still need more talent than skill to do that), the other can chit-chat with and ask God for questions and will be given answers right away. I dunno how but they're true.

So, I've been learning that--although many refuse to believe--these superstitious things are true. They become sin when one make them the gods of one's life and use them to guide life. I believe when are used in a good way, in an equal measurement, and in the right place, they can help us a lot on directing our ways in life.

The simplest thing--and the most complete information to get from--is to learn the Chinese horoscope. They divided every elements of time in 12 and characterized them in 12 animals. And also separate the characters in 5 elements (air, water, fire, earth and metal. (Perhaps Jostein Gaarder really got me here. I'm now talking about numbers like he'd been talking about ones in the solitaire card deck. I've been reading Maya now.)

Okay, you can learn about them later but what I'm trying to say is that they're really working. I've been doing a little random experiment with those people/couples I know and how their relationship (with their spouses, mostly. I haven't do one with work/luck/other things) is doing based on what  horoscope is saying.

I saw many married couples who are said to be 'match' doing very well in life: nice family; good kids; great fortune; love for ever and ever... and those who aren't: broken family; damaged kids; continual quarrels; either bankruptcy or bad luck in businesses; and divorces.

Of course, I don't think you suppose to trust the horoscope like it's your life-guide. Because when one is said to be another's perfect match, it appear that they don't always end up loving one another. And the unfair thing is that when a couple love each other so much they could be compared to Romeo and Juliet, they're not always match for each other in the horoscope stuff.

So, it's getting more complicated here (yeah, people are simply complicated.) If I watch old Chinese movies, I often saw people are getting married because their parents had seen their compatibilities and set the marriages. I've always thought they're so wrong because marriage without love is such a nonsense. [Please remember the Chinese horoscope matching things aren't include with the character compatibility--they're too wide in range for a year. It's more in the astrological zodiac, the four temperaments, the nine enneagrams, etc.]

I think the root cause of broken homes, divorces and torn hearts is this horoscope-matching thing, despite there's love or not. Maybe there are no one to blame for such ugly things; they just don't match with each other. Perhaps they'd been pushing it too hard to get married.

I'll tell you this: some of my friends here in Bandung in ages of 20s are already--or on the way to be--divorced. And I saw this little thing that caused it: they needed to get married before the age of 25 or other silly reasons made from the { neighborhood / tradition / family's pressures / ... }*. They didn't think far: that there are a lot more than love needed in a marriage.

People sometimes forget that they have a different { personality / habit / character / interest / perspective/ purpose / principal / ... }* with their partner. And they don't see the compatibility, either. I'm not saying that we gotta believe in that horoscope thing--but if they choose to ignore those important little elements that built us human, it's their fault if the relationship is not working.

Ah yea, you'll say I'm too much a thinker, too high an idealist, too weird a rationalist. Believe it or not, I've seen so many things falling down and I've been there too [pushing my emotion to a guy who wasn't my destiny--it was such a hard time] and I don't like it. I'd really want to suggest you to at least take a peek on those supernatural-psychic stuff before you step on to the next level of your relationship, but of course, they're all your decision to make.

Maybe you think if you'd listen to me, you'll end up being single all your life. Hey, no--I mean, look at me: I'm happy with the man I love with our character compatible and the business started getting on ever since we dated. He's not my 'perfect match'--because I've been told who 'the matching person' was and I didn't come even near to an 'impressed' word onto him. But I'm happy and being great with him. It's stressless and the journey for both of us feels so light to bear.

There's no need to find the best match for you. I'm just saying that find at least one who match one of your elements: whether the Chinese horoscope, astrological signs, the four temperaments ... whatever. Don't be too lovey-dovey couple that you forget all the logical things [or I'm being illogical by concerning the supernatural stuff here? But the four temperaments or nine enneagrams or other similar stuff aren't supernatural... Oh well, I'm just saying to think before you marry!]

Don't make hasty decisions based only by { lust / curiosity / anxiety / pity / ego / ... }*. They'd just drain your energy and drag you into burdened life. Trust me, it'll bring your life hard to bear and your heart troubled. I really do hope I won't see any broken homes/divorce anymore, especially among my friends.

I just believe that when you find your soulmate, the way will open up to you without any complication. Even the heaviest problem would seem tiny. And both of you may live happily ever after. You'll end up so sweet then! ^_^


*) check one or more or fill the blank as you wish. I bet there's at least one of the things I mentioned there.